I
spoke many times the words of love or likeness towards the girls, I dared to, I
wished and I wanted those words to be spoken back. I wanted.
I
speak those words and I tremble, I speak and I shake as I am insecure about
reply and I wish to hear the words of likeness of me but I fear I am mistaken, I
fear things are not the way I perceive and think, I hold the hand and I kiss
and I am pleased, I am satisfied, I am experiencing the feeling, the feeling I like,
I like this girl, I love her, I know it because I experience this feeling, but,
something, something I do not considered, I do not considered, that this, what I
experience – is Lie.
The
moments I dared to express and spoke those words towards girls are gone and seem
to me like never happened, like just the frame of the past of my actions and my
words, my words, as love towards anyone, I was fake. I was fake within such
words, I was not aware.
And
this experience and this feeling, is lovely, it is energy moving within me and fulfilling
me, this energy I think is love, it must be, this lovely love feeling, must be
love because it is directed toward a girl, and I am male thus this is love, yes
it is, but, I see – it is fear. Not love not likeness just fear. The fear of
me, fear of who I am, why I am the way I am, fear of future and present, as I do
not know, I do not see, I am not aware thus I fear and this fear is fulfilling
me and I think it is love and I am mistaken and I lie to me and I lie to girl
because I fear.
Within
the words I spoke the likeness and love of someone, in fact there was my
desires, my intentions, my needs and wants, my projections, how it would be,
how things can be, how future can be, my energy and my experiences, within such
words I manipulated because of wanting to simply experience what I feel within me,
in the state of mind I am experiencing love, which was just – Fear.
Fear
in many ways, fear in me, and I think I will always love you but in fact I will
all ways fear you, is true meaning of such words, always to fear, me.
How
strange it is, to say, to someone, and to promise and to project, that I will
be all ways in fear towards this being, how insane this is, and more insane,
the marriage of two based on the fear as projection to end of the life.
Blindness
within such fear allow the being to commit themselves into a doom of them in
lies and dishonor of love, they accept to abuse such word each way possible to maintain
their energy, and it is just fear, and they will fight and protect their fear,
and they will dare to kill for their love – for the fear.
The
beings, here, as me, blinded within such love, not seeing and realizing what in
fact is going on within them and around them, and the moments pass and things
are happening and day after day, year after year, decade after decade, life is
passing and the life in fear and projection of love and what love is, and
within the last moment of the” life”, being realize the most shocking truth
about themselves, the truth about their love, and what they lived, but it is to
late. To late and all is gone – just this seeing and realization remain – You was
fake all life, each way possible, because you feared you.
I
breathe, slowly, I am the breath of the body and I am in and as all parts
equally and everything of me is equally considered, shared, touched, fulfilled
with me as breath as I am here and I am love, I am expression of love as
innocence of me, I love me and I love you as me and this is me as who I am within
such moment as I see, realize and understand, for eternity as the truth of love
– is Equality and oneness of me.
Thanks, Juraj
