Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Desire & Need

               Maybe I would not be able to count, how many times I desired something, or how much times I thought that I need something or want something.

                I can go through desire to be in relationship and be with someone who would possible understand me, to be with someone and can speak with this persona openly without judgments, to share myself and enjoy the presence of other being, enjoy the intimacy and sex, touches, kisses, the words and looks into each other eyes, the desire to find a woman which could possibly understand and see what is going on here and why.

                Or desire to win lots of money and be independent of the system and could not worry about the money and could not go into work and do not have to bother if I have money to buy this or that, to not worry how much I have.

                The desire to show others how good I am, to make the jealous of my goodness and within that make me more than I really am.

                The various sexual desires, some of them fulfilled and some of them I simply let go, as I realized that always it would be fake experience if I will just follow my mind on the road of this desires.

                The desire to be accepted and not judged, the desire to be noticed, this one comes from my family.

                The desire to be free, experience the freedom of living without anything which I should worry about, the desire to be a child and just enjoy the simplicity of the moment while playing.

                Desire to see the world and the desire to live forever, desire to see the universe and travel through it and meet with all races possibly found.

                Desire to not have to live on planet where the life becomes the hell for the most humans here, the desire to have power and be able to change the things.

                Desire to not have reality the way as it is with the mechanics within, the want to live in different word entirely.

                I could continue and continue and maybe list of the desires would be really long, but some of them have no more power over me, do not dictate my actions and way how I live. Some of them are still part of me and thus directing my life.

                And I see, as I was able to let go some desires which was really strong within me, and over time I was surprised that I was able to just let it go, maybe the time has come to let go each one.

                I know that desire is just separation from myself, the fake believe and fake perception, I see that each one is of the mind, and thus not real.

Thanks, Juraj


Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Power



                 It is interesting word from perspective, that if you want to have power, very other component has to be present within others, and that is fear. If fear exists, power exists. If fear do not exists, power do not exists.

                In my life, for some period I was in charge of managing working duties about 50 people. I was very aware, that I am equal to them and that I am not more and I am not less, we was on the same boat per say, just one difference was, that I had my office where I could create the scheme for duties and so, simply to decide who will do which work, etc, everything what was needed.

                Mostly, I allowed folks more things than to myself, and within this I realized that it is maybe impossible to satisfy from some group 100 percent of participants and the point, that how orders are made and communicated, have crucial impact for this satisfaction. Simply, how leader behave, share, communicate, have very strong impact within group, as group will always look on the leader and pinpoint everything possible about him.

                Once, as around me was about 20 people and we together participated on specific type of entertaining, and everyone enjoyed it, I decided to stop and change this entertaining according my will and everyone in the very moment had to submit to this decision as I was persona in charge.

                No one spoke a word, everybody silently submitted to my will, because of point of fear within them, what I will do against them if I am in charge and how I will behave and what consequences will be, if they will dare to stand and speak.

                I was curious within moment, as there was no point to fear me they knew that I never did against them anything which could damage/harm their lives and also I never had those intensions, and nevertheless they fear to stand up and speak. This just show how strong the fear is ingrained within human beings, how deeply the lives of humans are controlled by fear, and this fear has many layers.

                After few moments I said them that I go and that they can participate on that what they was doing before, I delegated another persona to be in charge and I left.

                This illusion of me in power, by paradox came from them because of their fear. The experience of power, to be in charge, could easily change ones perceptions, one can easily trap own life in this illusion of power, in illusion to be more, and that one can dictate and decide without questions.

                I could trap myself into that idea and believe that I have power over them, but I realized that this power is not real power, and thus I let it go, because real power is to when one decide to stand up speak, act, the way which is best for all. In this acting/behaving I see real power of individual.

                The power games took place many times within relationships, I experienced it and sometimes I wanted to have power over other persona, to do what I would like from this persona to do, lot of times it looks innocent, but it is not.

To abuse this power over weaker ones, is simple, but real persona will not abuse power, never.

And this illusion of power is as energy linked to ones ego, ones judgments and perceptions, and desires to be more than what one really is.

Thanks, Juraj


Monday, February 27, 2012

Anger



          Triggered within a moment, ignited and exploded, the explosion of anger within my body and within this I see and realize that If I will allow this anger grow my actions will led me to situation I would like not be in.

The anger coming from conflicts, not fulfilled expectations, or as defense against those who pushed on me to submit according their will, many aspects why I ignited anger within me.

As a young boy I start to realize that this anger I can let grow and let myself to be controlled and even from certain perspective enjoy this anger, but within this I realized that it always led me to various points which are creating more mess, more drama, more bullshits, harm, conflicts, judging etc.

I was curious, that I can let it grow, and I can stop it, I believed that anger is real and thus experience of me, but I was curious that I can let it grow or stop. It was like allowance within me, in the very moment as the anger has been ignited, the same moment allowing it grow and penetrate my body where my body even start to tremble from amount of anger produced, or within the same moment stop and diminish and let it go.

I didn’t understood that time the mechanics of the anger, I didn’t saw that time why this exist and why I believe that it is real, I was not aware that this is energy based and I was completely missing that ego, separation, and polarity of the mind plays major role within this.

I could not comprehend that times why this frictions occur, from my perspective I didn’t liked the anger, this emotion was not one of my likeness, and I never liked the outcome of it, because the moments I allowed to be overwhelmed by anger, I created what I do not wanted, and thus I had to face that shit and consequence I let behind me just supported existence of anger within others.

In my life, it was rare situations, as the anger came to play within me occasionally, and lots of time I stopped and let it go, but as I see the moments I let it grow, complete blindness of me took place, quite interesting.

And the anger, is of the mind, the moment I experience this energy burst as anger, I know I fall, and within this question occur, why?

What is the point I am separating myself from and what is the point I judge and what is the point I do not want to face? And within this one can support oneself, to find out, what is really going on behind the face of being called human.

Thanks, Juraj


Sunday, February 26, 2012

Knowledge & Information



          I like to be informed, I like to have knowledge, to know and to be informed what is going on. To know how things work and how things operate, this gives me advantage. Advantage from perspective I am not blind, I do not need to doubt, I do not need to speculate about things, I see.

          I am the one eye king in the ocean of blindness. This means I see as the eye search within me, the mind of me do not like things I know.

          I used to take immense amount of knowledge and information in the past and blindly believed in it, the mantra of conspiracies and the lies hidden within it. I used to speculate and I used to imagine, based on stuff I heard and things I read. Nothing is the way I used to think before.

          In-form and the know-ledge, the limitation of the mind shown in those words be itself, the ledge of things I know, in which form I absorb and which form and value I shape this within me, what I connect and what I attach to those words, written, spoken, shared, as knowledge and information.

          Do I see? I see the mountain of useless information within me, most of them was lies. How I can be sure those things are valid and true, If I have no chance to prove that what was written by someone is true?

Who wrote that stuff, and why that stuff has been written? In news, magazines, on web, books and novels, in school books, zillions of words and sentences everywhere produced, with the mind infinity could last to read through it. Garbage. No need to read it and no need to worry. Everything everywhere the same shit, the same lies, the same deception and the same garbage.

It took me years to realize this, and it is simple, let’s have a look what is written? Who write about equality, who live that equality? How to live equality?

I see that if I look as the mind I am blind, I see that If I search as the mind I found no answers, I see that If I live as the mind I deny the obvious, with the knowledge and information I am able to deceive myself and do not want the reality to be the way as it is, because within my mind I want reality to be according my perception and my will, according that what I know.

But let’s stop for a moment, what do I see? What Is here? The reality, the only one real reality, which is real is here. What’s not here is mind, mind even have no idea what means to be here, those zillions of information are just distractions of the mind, and mind is never here.

Thanks, Juraj