Anger

          Triggered within a moment, ignited and exploded, the explosion of anger within my body and within this I see and realize that If I will allow this anger grow my actions will led me to situation I would like not be in.

The anger coming from conflicts, not fulfilled expectations, or as defense against those who pushed on me to submit according their will, many aspects why I ignited anger within me.

As a young boy I start to realize that this anger I can let grow and let myself to be controlled and even from certain perspective enjoy this anger, but within this I realized that it always led me to various points which are creating more mess, more drama, more bullshits, harm, conflicts, judging etc.

I was curious, that I can let it grow, and I can stop it, I believed that anger is real and thus experience of me, but I was curious that I can let it grow or stop. It was like allowance within me, in the very moment as the anger has been ignited, the same moment allowing it grow and penetrate my body where my body even start to tremble from amount of anger produced, or within the same moment stop and diminish and let it go.

I didn’t understood that time the mechanics of the anger, I didn’t saw that time why this exist and why I believe that it is real, I was not aware that this is energy based and I was completely missing that ego, separation, and polarity of the mind plays major role within this.

I could not comprehend that times why this frictions occur, from my perspective I didn’t liked the anger, this emotion was not one of my likeness, and I never liked the outcome of it, because the moments I allowed to be overwhelmed by anger, I created what I do not wanted, and thus I had to face that shit and consequence I let behind me just supported existence of anger within others.

In my life, it was rare situations, as the anger came to play within me occasionally, and lots of time I stopped and let it go, but as I see the moments I let it grow, complete blindness of me took place, quite interesting.

And the anger, is of the mind, the moment I experience this energy burst as anger, I know I fall, and within this question occur, why?

What is the point I am separating myself from and what is the point I judge and what is the point I do not want to face? And within this one can support oneself, to find out, what is really going on behind the face of being called human.

Thanks, Juraj