Day 137 : Places and me

                I became living in and as polarity of places as dark – Light, and this was because when I was a child, I liked to hide myself into a bad, where I did that place like tent, and inside was darkness and I liked and enjoyed that darkness, as only me was there and no one could go inside, and that was the place I felt myself safety, as I was not afraid of the dark, I became afraid of the light.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to separate myself from myself because of positive energy charge towards darkness and thus hide myself in dark of me where no one see.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to create within me positive energy charge towards darkness, and thus search for places where darkness is to experience safety and belonging and the place as my domain.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that darkness is good and light is bad and thus exist in and as mind polarity of good / bad.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to feel and experience safety on places where darkness is and thus hide myself in dark.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to create fear towards the light and judge light as bad and thus exist as mind polarity of darkness as good and light as bad.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe and perceive the places where darkness is as my world, my domain, my belonging and think and believe that that are places where I belong to, not seeing and realizing that no matter which place I am I am still here, no matter if dark or light is present.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to hide myself as me to the dark and places where dark is and create within me likeness towards those places.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to run away from reality as that what is possible to be seen through my physical eyes as that what is here and what is created on places where darkness is, and thus perceive reality as boring, frightening and want to remain hidden on places where darkness and dark is, because of likeness towards those places and dislike towards reality as light.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to run away from reality and judge reality as where Is light as bad and create within me the sense of dislike, and charge reality by itself with negative energy charge, and places where is dark, which are isolated and hidden perceive as good, and charge with positive energy.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to perceive reality as world as boring and thus perceive myself as boring and judge myself as boring.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to perceive reality through light as being outside and where darkness as being inside and thus search for places where I can feel inside, safety, not judgment and belonging, not seeing and realizing that each place I am thus I belong there as my presence as physical as breath.

Thanks, Juraj

 

Day 128 : Eye movement – programming of self

                I realized interesting point, that within my eye movement, I can see what my program is, how I look and see the world outside, what are the points I seek and look one, how I move with my eyes, how often I blink with me eyes, which pictures I see with my eyes, how I search for energy through eyes.

                Interestingly, mind utilize eyes each moment of movement, just question is, is this eye movement automatic? If yes, observe just for a while, how you move with your eyes and why, what true reason of this movement is, place questions for this movements, search and seek why you move with your eyes the way you do.

                Within this, you will see the polarity play-out, when and how often you are inferior or superior, what the likeness as what you like is, and what not, within the eyes and movements of eyes you can find many points, to be able to see and realize how you programmed yourself.

                The school, is one of the strongest point, and education system for this eye movements, as getting information into and as mind as the reading has been utilized to receive knowledge and thus provide to the mind what mind requires, knowledge and information of this world, but after all, everything is in place to keep humans enslaved, trapped, and to conform the rules of society and never place question towards the points which has been read.

                I forgive to myself that I have not accepted and allowed to myself to see, that education system of this world is in place to program myself through information and knowledge to keep me as the mind busy, and do not question information in front of me, and thus I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to receive, store and get information as knowledge from the books in the school and do not question this information.

Thanks, Juraj

Day 96 : I like you thus you are more

                Interesting thing is, that those people I like, or to those ones I created likeness towards, as positive seeing of this people, thus I take it like to be more, like to have more value in my life, and as opposite those I have no connections towards, thus no value for me, no meaning, nothing.

                And this is bullshit, all people have equal value, each and one being has the same value as life.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to split people according likeness and dislikes, and thus put value accordingly of my likeness or dislike, and within this participate on positive and negative energy creation towards those people and thus trap myself into energy experiences of likeness or dislike, where I accepted and allowed to myself to search and seek those ones I like and disregard those which I do not like.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that positive energy or positive seeing or positive attitude towards those people I like is expression of myself, instead of see and realize that by this I am already acting according energy experiences within and as me and thus directed by the mind.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to exist within and as mind polarity of positive/negative and neutral by this split people into categories and thus categorize people instead of see each individual as equal to me, and myself equal to them and thus direct myself within the world where everything and everyone is threat equally.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to create the positive energy within me as hiding of that what I perceived as negative and thus expect from others to help me to generate the positive energy for myself to be able to cover much better that what is suppressed within me as negative and thus I would not have to face that.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to believe that what I perceive as negative or I created negative experience towards, is my real decision, my real direction and my real seeing, instead of see and realize that within this I am already by submission of the mind and thus directed by energy experience within me.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that I have to stand back from that what I do not like, or I do not want to confront myself with or face, instead of stand up and face myself no matter what.

Thanks, Juraj

Day 93 : Brainwashed to be a hero

                Television is perfect tool to brainwash human beings into a zombie heads. When I was just a child, my favorite movies was known as western, or those one where the story was placed to wild west, where each time was someone as a hero, or a good guy, and others as criminals, or bad guys, and obviously, the good guy as hero was always solving some issue.

                Obviously, each time it was just picture presentations of the mind as positive – good thus hero and savior, and negative – bad guys those one which should be eliminated.

                As a child I knew that in tv, that there are movies, thus made up stories, but this knowing is simply irrelevant, because as a child I reacted towards specific personas, once in positive manner, other time in negative, and thus my self definitions, the creations of my characters, ideas and believes about myself and world around emerged and I was busy developing my imagination about myself and the life.

                Within this, I did not realized, I am trapping myself into realms of the mind, and I was absolutely not aware why I react in positive or in negative manner.

                But to follow the dogmas of society, to made up personas as positive I had tendency to react positively and create likeness towards them, and other polarity towards second ones.

                Thus I perceive humans to be a good, and evil. Simply, I split myself and my perception into a believe, that someone is simply only good, or that someone is always bad.

                As a child, I was absolutely blind to very specific points to those made up stories, and thus I never asked the questions – why this is made the way it is? Who is this persona presented? What is the starting point for ones actions? What is going on behind these pictures? What is this goodness? Or what is this evil? Why one is like evil and other bad? Is this evil really evil or just self honesty of that persona acted that way? Is this what looks like being good really goodness or it is the evil in sheep cloak? What and who is liar? Is this lying bad? Why those people lie? What directs them? Who is dictator and who is sheep or follower? Why they directs themselves that way or do they?

                Within movies, nothing is real, everything of the movies are just made up stories of one’s minds, and thus presented the way one’s mind wants. Thus, it is interesting, that because someone imagine something, and present it specific way, I developed the abilities to react positively or negatively, according brainwashing of my family, to remain aligned within and as a system and develop myself into a system, which was perfectly proceeded.

                To react on someone’s illusions as picture presentations, and thus define myself according it, create ideas or believes, is perfect fuck up, deception of self and thus creation of living in self dishonesty.

                Obviously, I was looking upon plenty of heroes in different movies and stories, and seeing the heroes as the one’s doing a good things, but in fact it was never that way. Each and single hero was equally evil to evil he fought, just polarity and thus fighting himself.

                But, being good, or goodness, do not exists at all, it is impossible, while one live in mind, thus good diminished completely and entirely, as what is good is no more recognized, as it is impossible for the mind, to determine what is really or what means to be a good persona. Mind by itself, is a pure evil, as mind is made up of energy and simply energy is that what hurts physical, abuse physical, and thus mind is representation of evil in nature, as nature of the mind and the way mind exist is abuse of physical and thus parasite on physical, as mind by itself can’t exist without physical.

                Interestingly, physical without the mind is pretty fine, with mind it is always manipulation and abuse. And I thought that to be a here is possible, that to be a good is possible, that to do good things is ok, but nothing of this exists. And I was looking upon those who save others, and I wished those bad guys to die. Thus, how can I be good? It is impossible, it is not real, it is just made up illusion of my mind, to cover the shits within me I created and allowed towards life and physical.

                Each positive action, each positive reaction, each positive energy, is just covering the shits of negative accepted and created already and thus directing my life and living as me, in me, what I became.

                Thus how goodness can exists, when negative have to exists? Simply stop. Positive and negative, what will remain? Just life.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that any hero exists or that someone is hero as a savior of someone, instead of see and realize that it is impossible to save someone from the mind, as each one have to do this for himself.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that to save someone as an act of positive thinking or doing as starting point as good or positive energy is real good and real goodness, instead of see and realize that by this the negative is already created.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to looking upon those who was presented to me as a heroes and thus perceive them as good and create within me the likeness and positive energy towards them, and react in positive attitude and those one who has been presented to me as negative thus react with and as negative energy experiences and thus accept and allow to myself to live the mind as system of polarity as good and bad.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that I can be a hero or savior for someone, instead of see and realize that this is impossible.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to do not question the good and bad, but automatically accept that what as been presented to me as good and reject that was presented to me as bad.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to create within me the ideas and believe about good and bad and thus participate in polarity of the mind as good and bad.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to enslave myself into a polarity of good and bad, instead of see and realize that this is of the mind.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to act, behave and speak according my own judgment of myself of being good or bad and thus shape myself, mold myself, to fit and ingrain myself into and as a system of the mind.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to trap myself into believe that I have to save someone.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to hide and cover the negative energy experiences with positive energy and thus balance myself and experience of me in believe that this energy experiences are real experiences of me, instead of see and realize that those are of the mind.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that hero is someone who is good.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to react on pictures presentations of good and bad accordingly.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to cover the evil of me as the mind as the energy system I became to do not have to see how, when and why I abuse physical and drain of the life force of myself as physical.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that it is impossible that I am killing myself by participation in the mind, instead of see and realize how mind utilize the physical to drain energy from physical and thus sustain itself.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to split people according brainwashing of television into those who are good and those who are bad.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to align myself according ideas, believes and projection presented to me through tv and thus accept and allow myself to live in and as a system of the mind, as self defined, self limited, self trapped and enslaved entity.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to diminish myself to such extent, that I believed that pictures I see through my physical eyes are real instead of see and realize that each picture I see is just interpretation of my mind about physical, as an attempt to comprehend what it is what mind is looking on.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to take physical for granted.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to define myself according positive polarity of the mind as heroes seen through tv and thus live in and as believe that heroes are real and thus want to be a hero for someone also.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that possibly someone can be my hero.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to follow the idea and believe of being a hero, or wanting and desiring to be a hero.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to not see and realize the energy play out between good and bad.

Thanks, Juraj