Day 145 : Respect and value of me

                As I was born to this world, and grow up and observed what is around me, many orders, restrictions and commands I heard as a points from those which thought they know what it means to educate child.

                They was wrong as they had no idea what they spoke to me and why, they was not aware what they imposed on me, they do not saw and realized how they abused me, that everything was said just for sake of wanting to have control over me, to make me of their image and likeness, to make me submit they will and follow and live their believes, ideas and their life.

                No one cared who I really am, no one cared what I would like to really live, no one respected me as a being and no one respected me as their equals. No one said to me to respect myself, no one said to me to like myself and enjoy myself, no one said to me to value myself and honor myself, no one said to me to cherish me. No one wanted to give me freedom and show me what freedom is, no one in my life ever teach me what I should really know and understand.

                No one as all was blind and deaf, no one as all was innocent in their blindness, no on as they was not knowing, seeing and realizing what they really do and why.

                It is paradox, but no one lived their lives as free beings, not directed and enslaved by the mind. As we are all, trapped and living the illusion of the life, thinking and believing.

                Who really see the madness of this so called “life”? Who see what we created? Who see this world the way it is? Who see, that we all are responsible for this creation? Who see that we created this? Who see that we are creators of this misery what is here?

                Who really see? That we forgot to respect and value life.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to forget to value life and respect life and therefore to respect and value myself as life.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to forget to value mind and energy experiences more than physical therefore more than life.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to do not give value, respect and honor to myself.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to do not cherish myself.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to do not give attention to myself each moment of breath.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to do not respect myself each moment I am here.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to do not enjoy myself each moment I am here.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to do not care about those who are not fortunate as me and thus accept and allow separating myself from them and thinking and believing that I can’t help or care about them.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that I am too weak to help those who are less fortunate than me to make this world for all enjoyable place.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to do not value others as me, because I do not valued myself.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to separate myself from others because of believes, perceptions and ideas about myself.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to separate myself from here, because of very living in and as the mind, where mind is never here but always in the past.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to do not want to see what is here, what has been accepted and allowed on this place as horror and pain of majority of being living on this planet.

Thanks, Juraj 

Day 113 : Life is pain

                The experiences of me, and the perception of my life, over many years, became like ingrained into me the perception, that life is pain, life is though, and that to be here is pain, because of various different experiences going through fights with my brothers, perception of my father, linked with the behaviors of mother, through relationships with friends I had, the girls I dated with, school system and the working system, and this all intertwined with money system, and how I managed my life within this all together.

                Thus perception of life, that life is pain I became living it, managing everything into my own pain to me to live here. The pain of life I experienced as physical pain cured and my body is perfectly fine, the pains of myself as experiences within me became my living, my perception and the way how I see my life.

                I would like to enjoy my life each moment, and I even do not see what real enjoyment, yes, several times I experienced, myself as enjoying me, the moments I am here, but mostly, I see it is fake enjoyment as it is directed towards external points I used to like, but as I removed energy related towards this points I used to generate the positive energy, thus like only pain remained.

                And it is possible to enjoy me as I am here? And it is possible to see life differently? To cure myself from all the falls and lies, to cure myself from all hurts and became the one who live here, in presence of me as life?

                Sure, it is possible as everything is possible, just do it.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to see and perceive my life as pain, as though, as make believe created because of the falls in my life, lies I said and live, because of hurts I experienced as energy movements based on separation, and relationships with friends and girls where I started to perceive that relationships are pain.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to see the relationships between me and friends as pain and thus step back from any relationships as protection mechanism to not be hurt anymore.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to see the relationships between myself and girls as pain, horror and see and perceive it as though and thus live this perception and believe and mange my life and the relationships the way to be this pain, horror and though.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to do not enjoy myself here, not really enjoy the moments I am here and live, because of perception, believe and idea that life is hard, though, pain and horror and thus I would like to go somewhere where life is more easier, mostly where are no people.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to step back from all people as a protection mechanism to not be hurt.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to want and desire to live as bird, because of perception and believe that bird is free and that bird has easy life that bird can just sit and do not bother about anything.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to do not want to live on this planet because of systems I have to live in, the deception and lies, and thus create within me the perception and believe that life is hard, painful and though because of money I have to get to be able to live, because of systems I have to deal with and thus perceive myself that I have to defend myself and thus that I cannot live myself, because I became living in constant pain of myself of seeing my life, not seeing and realizing that it is me who managed everything this way, and that it is me who perceived myself this way, and thus it is only me who can change everything of me to be the way I really would like for myself, to have and live life which is of worth, being here and enjoying my presence.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to perceive and believe that my relationship with my father was terrible and horror, perceiving him as dictator and thus separate myself from him, because of fear in front of him and thus hide and present false face, false words, false behavior while living in family, because of perception and idea that it is hard to be here, that I have to play the game of life as adults showed me and thus became the player of my life, instead of live my life.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to see and perceive myself as life as be hard, as be horror, terrific and problematic, because of my own self definition during events which took place in my life, like interactions with family members, fights with brothers, lies heard and spoken by me and others, ended friendships and ended relationships, and because of this I created within and as me the idea, believe that life is hard, pain, and though, not seeing and realizing the simplicity of being here and do what is necessary to do, to simply enjoy and live me, be here not matter what.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to see my life as not of worth, not of value, not of reason, instead of see and realize that life is the only value which exists and which is real, and thus all life has the same value and the same worth, and thus I am worthy and valued the same way as life is by itself.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to see and perceive myself as not worthy to be life, because of abuse, manipulations, lies, deception I created for myself and for others and thus judge myself and perceive myself as not worthy and thus think, believe and create the idea that life is hard, painful and horror, and thus became living the life the way I defined myself into and as.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to see and perceive my life as hard, painful and horrific as a judgment, perception and believe that I have to be punished for everything I accepted and allowed towards the life as me and that I have to pay and learn the lesson to do no more abuse the life as myself.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think, believe and perceive that I have to be domed, punished, for everything I accepted towards myself as life, because through this punishment I will be able to live as learned lesson to do no more abuse myself as life.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that something bad exists and that if I do something bad thus I have to be punished, not seeing and realizing that nothing like bad exists, not seeing and realizing that good/bad is the polarity system accepted and learned from my parents and by this create within me the idea and believe that I have to be punished, because if not thus I am bad, and by this punishment want to re-buy myself and re-get my self acceptance as good persona, not seeing and realizing that this is just illusion of the mind, not seeing and realizing that mind exists as polarity and not seeing the world the way how world really is, and thus simply do not judge myself for this creation, but rather became the solution.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that I have to suffer and experience pain and horror, because of lost friendships, lost relationships, lost friends, parents, brothers, and that I was the cause of this all, that I was the one who did everything wrong and thus by this see and perceive myself and my life as pain, problem and judge myself as the one who did everything wrong.

                I commit myself to see myself of worth, of value, of life as the only value which exists.

Thanks, Juraj

               

Day 95 : Simplicity of moment

                The moment which is here, carry simplicity of living here. The question is, if the action, word, doing or living within moment is self honest or not?

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to look on the moments which passed and which are no more here as the moments I missed something not seeing and realizing within this that only what I can miss is myself and thus all existence as me.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to look in the mind and project the moments to the future and possible outcomes, instead of focus on moment which is here and thus act, speak and do in self honesty.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to jump in my mind between moments which passed and judge those moments and thus judge myself, instead of be simply here, within and as breath and act, speak and do in self honesty and live myself as living being in reality as physical.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to do not realize and see the simplicity of living here, in and as moment of my presence in and as space and thus direct my words, actions, and living the way where everything is considered equally.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to prefer self-dishonesty when I have to face myself in points where I fall instead of stand up and live here as breath and not in the mind.

Thanks, Juraj

Day 20 : I like

 

                Why I like something? Or, why I should even like something? Should I like something? What the likeness of something/someone says about me? What is the point to like?

                Is the likeness always based on energy gathering from the point of likeness?

 The likeness as expression of me here, as I can like myself as expression of me, as enjoyment of myself.

                For some points I could count lot of criteria why I like something, what it is I like on that/this etc.

                The likeness for me or what I like is reflection of me, who I am thus I like, who I would like not be thus I do not like, just polarity, the nice play out. I notice, when I do not like something, and I forgive to myself this not likeness of that point, often it is no more not likeness, or vice versa, if I like something, and I forgive this energy connection, I do not like it anymore the way I did before.

                I like that differently, as there is no more energy charge connected.

                I like questions. J Question brings me opportunity to find answers, which for me, is like amazing journey into me.

I commit myself to investigate each point of likeness/not likeness based on energy charge towards point of likeness/not likeness and release myself from it.

Thanks, Juraj