Death of me

                Many times I heard/red, things related to death, about the death, or what is or what should be after the death.

                All what I can say, I do not care what is after the death of my physical body, and I do not believe any scheme or perspective as I see that all perspectives are of the mind and thus cannot be valid or true as with the end of physical body living - mind dies and body return to earth.

                For me, the death of me is each time I am not aware that I am. When I go to sleep, suddenly I am not aware that I exist, yes my body still in the bad, but I am not aware of me not even of my breath, thus I died.

                At morning I woke up and thus I am aware that I am that I exist thus I am reborn. And I breathe and I am here. Question is, Am I really aware of me, or just memories of me has been activated and thus I fit into it and continue in time line to repeat this memories?

                The moments of energy connections/ believes/perceptions and ideas which I let go, I experienced in certain manner as death of me, death of my self-definitions. As the parts of me I let die I still remained here and by paradox I am aware much more than I used before.

                Therefore, if I will let go all limitations of me I created and, all self-definitions and all stuff which I would call me, separation and each reaction of judgment, it would mean I die as the mind but I will be aware of me without any limitations, definitions, believes, it means that I will be still here, here.

                Thus question is, what can really die? And what will remain?

Thanks, Juraj

Dear mind

                Once at the morning, when I had hard times to wake up, I had a thought “ If this will continue I can it give up “ In meaning, to give up pushing myself, to give up process.

                A moment after that, I become like “ angry “ but this was not of emotions, I was absolutely clear, and it was like grrrrr, my dear mind, how you even dare to say that. How you even dare to show me the thought like this.

                To give up?  Myself?

My dear mind, there is only one thing which I will give up, and it is you. And you will be one what I will give up, slowly but surely, you will die, nothing of you will exists, nothing of you will remain, no tricks, no hidden agendas, no secrets, no thoughts, no feeling and emotions, no desires, and no needs, and no wants my dear mind. This is you. This is me, yes you are here with me as I allowed you to exists, just for a while.

I will remain.

And the tears right now run out of my eyes, as I see what I have became.

Thanks, Juraj

Hope dies as last

I used to hope, to hope that something will happen, believe to that, hoping that maybe possibly, this time it will go well.

My life, was based on such believe, that maybe possibly somehow, something will be delivered to me, because I hope.

But hope, is not real. It is self delusion, self limitation, self stuck in such believe. I have been taught to think that hope is the last what dies in someone, and that I need to hope, that I have to hope, because without it, nothing exists.

I do not hope anymore, with self responsibility, hope is not necessary, hope is irrelevant, hope is ridiculous, hope is fuck up.

I let the hope gone and I let hope die and I let die everything which is not real, which is not of the life, moment by moment, let die everything which I allowed to enslave me.

Thanks, Juraj