Day 165 : Return to innocence.

                The moments I walked here as a child, I was here and I saw my surroundings and I enjoyed just the simplicity of me that I am.

                And as I see all the desires, fears, insecurities, anxieties, angers, hatred, believes, ideas, projections, wishes, revenge - walked, here I can express this as all points which was not necessary to start to live by any means, as all of those just stolen my innocence from me, I allowed this and I was the one who forgot my innocence as my presence here.

                I allowed to be robbed of life with the system and I became the very manifestation of various components of the system, and it was not worth to accept such deception.

                I am, bit concerned, about us. I am bit concerned about humanity, we have many fundamental unsolved issues, as basic needs of each human on this planet, and we die each moment.

                Thanks, Juraj 

               

Limitation

I experience pain, intensive pain, this pain is with me everywhere I am. Even hard to describe this pain, never experienced before.

It is not pain of feelings/emotions it is not pain of unfulfilled something, it is pain in my spine, in my chest, in my scapulas in my neck. It seems that this pain is compounding, day by day I experience it more and more.

Scapulas relate to limitation system, but as I search within me, I can’t see it. If I can’t see my own limitations, I must become my own limitation.

Information and knowledge, that’s my own limitation, everything I know and everything I can grasp, at the same time I am enslaving myself into it. Definitions created to each particular information I lived, it is infused in me, with me.

Want to drop it all, realized it is not possible, how can I drop what I lived and become it? I can’t drop it just like throw something on the floor, I have to defuse myself from it, purify myself and my body.

I have to forgive each one idea I had, each one self definitions to that ideas, I had to drop all believes, I had to drop everything what was lived not of life, all which is of systems, of the mind.

This will take some moments, one by one, to remain just only me, here.

Thanks, Juraj

Sharing myself

I met with my ex-employer by “coincidence “ . I was sitting in coffee bar. He sat near to me and said hello, and I start to speak with him as he asked me why I change image, as he didn’t saw me for a years and now I am bald.

                So I said him without any resistance, shame or judgment, that I am shaved because I support equality in this world.

                I started to speak with him very briefly about me, about the mind, about the government system and so, it was obvious that he has no enough time to speak with me.

                At the end of our short conversation, he said, if we will be able to teach our children to understand our mind and work with it, maybe we will be able to change the system we are living in.

                This was fascinating for me in the moment, because previously, I would speak with him about some normal “bullshits” people use to speak about, like weather etc. etc. but now I was clearly directing the communication with him, without any feelings attached to it, just sharing common sense and within it sharing myself.

                As I realized while I spoke that it is nothing to be ashamed to speak about, I enjoyed that conversation, without thoughts, without feelings, just me sharing me.

Thanks, Juraj