Consistency – Breathing - Ego

                I noticed interesting points within me, when and how I am loosing consistency in breathing during the day.

                Mostly, if I am in conversations with someone, lot of times I go into information and knowledge instead of sharing me in the moment. I have to change this, I have to be able to remain here no matter in which type of conversation I am in.

                Conflicts, last period in my life, maybe 3-4 months, are from certain perspective most conflicting period ever, and this is due to the fact, that previously I was scared to be in conflict and I tried to avoid this for any costs so lot of times I simply remained silent instead of speak. This changed and I see that speak directly without bullshiting lot of times brings conflicts, and I see that sometimes I am falling in this. Main point – ego.

Ego wants win in conflicts and once I lose my breath I am not necessarily escalating conflict for the purpose of ego to win and to be right. But this is nice bullshit because I tried for myself, in conflict to still remain with breath and I was able to communicate without changing voice tonalities, without that sense to be right or want to win.

Within that I found another interesting point, sarcasm. From ego perspective it is like hidden, that If I can’t win so I go into sarcasm, and this is nice bullshit also, because in conversation there is no need to win at all, it is just sharing, nothing more nothing less.

So, I need to be consistent within this and not allow myself to be led by the mind where I do not want to go.

Thanks, Juraj

Me and water – Don’t give up

             

                When we finished last round of race, and all competition has been finished, we decided to try to go into canal in reverse, against water jet and get to the beginning of the canal.

                If the water jet would be in original force we would not be able to even pass first bath, but when in water plant lowered water-level, it looked more doable.

                So beginning from down, first third of canal was really easy to pass as all baths and whirlpools as they lost the strength, second third made some problems to us, and some kayakers gave up to try to get to our finish, and in the last third, only 3 of us remained and there was last “ tongue “ created from water, the last point to achieve, to get through, but most powerful and most hard.

                As we paddled I noticed that my strength will not last much, as this was really hard part, I noticed the shouting from our couch from the right side as he has been screaming a lot on us to gave us some “ guts “ to make it.

    And he scream – Hop, Hop, Hop, Hop, and I paddle the fastest way I could and I am noticing that I am on the same place, I do not move back or forth in water jet but my speed is negated by water speed. The guy from my left is giving up and going on side, and me and my friend remained in frenetic paddling rodeo in water jet.

                I realized that if I will give up, it was worth nothing, just one moment, If I allow to give up and it will be done. I looked on right side, couch still screaming like mad and my friend giving up, going on other side and I remained alone.

                I become really tired, exhausted and I knew that if I will not do it fast in short period I will run out of my strength and will not be able to do it anymore. And as I still paddle in the water, suddenly I feel that kayak moved just tiny piece forward and I realized that it is possible to do it.

I didn’t want to give up, no way to give up, so I even made last strongest movements and I feel that I overcome with kayak the zero point and I move forward and I get through “ tongue “ and I did it.

Yes I did it, tired as hell, and cool was, that also my couch shut up and remained silent. He was maybe satisfied that at least one of his guys could do it, but I was really proud on me, not that I was only one, or that I did it, I was proud that I didn’t gave up.

Thanks, Juraj