Sunday, January 29, 2012

Procrastinate postponed

                I can say, that I was really good in this, I used to postpone things, and solve only that what was really crucial. I liked to postpone things and even within this to procrastinate and eventually to never complete it.

                I used to postpone things to the latest possible date, time, hour or minute, and when I pushed to complete or do it, after completion I used to perceive myself within this statement: “How much I did.”

                Can you imagine that? The work which took me few minutes, maybe hour, I used to perceive like I did so a lot of work, and even be proud on that, yes, lol, from my perspective to complete something used to be sometimes really hard. Because why?

                So the postponing has been my companion quite long time, can say all my life, except those things I liked to do, those one I did immediately and postponing never took place, those one which I had to do, so big struggle took place and doing anything else just not that what I had was better for me.

                But anyway, I see now, that it is not so big deal to push myself and complete something as first and have it done. After some period, as certain things in my life I am doing as first and not postponing it, I would say it is pleasure to have it done from perspective that it is not occupying my mind and I do not have to worry about it and I do not have to even spend a second to think about it because it is done, and I can let it go.

                I see that I was able to change some points within me and procrastination as mind component is much weaker within me or sometimes not present at all.

                This writings are assisting me a lot in this, as I always know that I push myself to write and place the words on “ paper “.

                Lot of times I heard from my family, or other people that I am lazy, but how I could be lazy if I am able to some things immediately and with enjoyment and participate for hours, but some not. So It is not laziness per say, but just polarity of the mind, where that which I like I do and that which not simply not. And within this, others could perceive me as lazy, but maybe they never realized, that what is important for them could not be important for me.

                Because what is really important? Just life, what we speak and how we speak and why we speak. What we do and how we do and why we do. And within this, quite interesting question arise, what my words support, what my actions support and what I am showing others?

                It is the life? It is the ego? It is just mind fuck up? What I will let here behind me for others?

                That’s the questions which anyone can answer for her/him self.

Thanks, Juraj

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