Day 5 : Excuses and Justifications

                Fuck, how much I loved excuses, and still, from certain perspective like.

                Excuse: I will not do it, it is hard.

What I really speak:  It looks that it is hard and I even will not try to do it because what if I will see and realize that it was just my perception and excuse why I can step back and do nothing and justify my inaction.

Excuse: They/he/she do it, why I should not?

What I really speak: I see what they are doing, and even if it is abuse, manipulation or trying to get attention or just act in way of self interest, I am comparing myself to them and I gave my direction away as I want to do as what they do and thus justify my actions, needs in separation from all and just stand as ego which consider only my self-interest.

                I could continue with various excuses for various situations, but all excuses serve just as and justification for ego as separated entity why ego as me, me as ego, why I can act the way which consider only my self interest, my desires and my wants and do not see consequences of this actions.

                Excuses serve perfectly, mainly for falling, to excuse and justify why I can fall and do not stand for myself and for life, why I can fall into bubble illusions of me and not stand up and direct myself accordingly within the word and system to support myself and others to make the change possible and bring here the equal life opportunities for all.

                Simply said, excuses serve as a tool, why I can fuck life.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to use excuses and justifications for my falling, instead of investigate this excuse or justification, get rid of it and stand up for myself.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to like to use excuses which gave me false perception and idea about myself and about my actions/inactions within the world as tool for abuse, manipulation in self interest.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to like to justify in front of myself why I can fall or why I fall with various excuses as a tool to do not see what I am really doing and what will be consequences of my actions.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to use excuses and justifications as a tool to remain hidden within me and not stand up and direct myself accordingly where all are considered equally.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to use excuses as a tool why I can fuck life and why I can do what I want as an ego in self interest.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to use excuses as a tool why I can remain separated within my mind and not stand up for myself and for life.

I commit myself to investigate each single excuse and justification within me, get rid of it and stand up for myself and for life.

Thanks, Juraj