I experienced hard pain right in
the center of my chest, pressure, even not allowing me to breathe, and within
in breath pain raised and pain while breathing became so unpleasant.
I saw the cause of this pain, as
relationship I created within me towards me, and what are the points I created
this relationship with me, obviously I based this on my mind, components of the
mind and thus living as the mind. As the relationship I created within me
towards myself, and thus shape and mold myself accordingly, is of thoughts,
perceptions, ideas and believes about myself.
And as each thought is
dishonesty and self deception, thus relationship towards myself I created as
self deception of me, as self dishonesty and thus accepting my living this way.
As each thought is abuse and manipulation of myself, thus I created the
relationship towards me based on abuse of me and manipulation of me. As the
each thought is torture of physical, as each energy is pain and cruelty towards
myself , thus relationship towards me I created as mind and physical became
based on torture, pain and cruelty towards myself.
Interestingly, this points I was
not aware of before, and I perceived everything of this as the mind as living
my life, not aware what I am really doing towards myself and why.
To see and realize why I do what
I do, how I created and why myself the way I did, is crucial point to became
self honest and stable within and as breath.
This is quite sad, that our
living, we based on mind without questioning the mind and functions of, that we
accepted to create ourselves on pain, torture and abuse and even not seeing and
realizing that we are doing it.
I was not aware how I tortured
myself, I was not able to see how I abused me, and yes, within this is great
simplicity. As each thought, is simply self-abuse, self-manipulation and
self-torture. Because within this, self is saying that is less that illusion of
the mind, and that what is real as flesh has to submit to an illusion.
Question is, would you submit to
an order, saying you that you have to punish yourself, abuse, manipulate,
diminish and torture you, if you would be able clearly see, that this order
comes up from illusion, in meaning, that something which is not real, wants you
to submit to this form of living? If you would be able to see, that what or who
is speaking this to you is just program, created to have control over you? Would
you submit to a robot, speaking to you to live according words of program robot
has been programmed?
You probably would reply no, but
within this, actually, that robot, that program, is the voice in your head, you
believe, is you.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to create the relationship towards myself based
on thoughts, feelings, emotions, perceptions, ideas, believes which are of the
mind, not seeing and realizing that by this I deceived myself and my living and
my life, that I abused, manipulated and tortured myself as life, with each
thought, each component of the mind, not seeing and realizing that I am not the
mind, but breath of life in equality and oneness with and as my physical body
as flesh, therefore not seeing and realizing that I abused, manipulated and
tortured the physical as my body with the accepting of living as the mind, as
program based on polarity and thus energy friction which is generated based on
this living in and as polarity design of the mind.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to create the relationship towards myself as
physical body based on that what I copied from my parents, from my environment I
grew up and thus that I submitted to that which has been external influences on
myself and thus create, shape and mold myself according that which influenced
me as external points as behavior of people around me and thus I copied that
what I liked and create the positive perception of this and create myself as opposite
of the what I do not liked and thus trapped myself into and as polarity design
of the mind as good / bad, likeness / do not like and thus exist as program of
polarity, instead of living me as life, as flesh within moment here, equal and
one with my physical body, not seeing and realizing that by my own submission
to the mind I diminished myself as life and tortured myself as life each way
possible.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to create relationship towards myself based on
illusions of the mind, and therefore that I submit the real flesh as my
physical body to the illusions and became follower of this illusion and thus
living the illusion, not seeing and realizing that by this I created
relationship towards myself based on lie of the mind, lie of the energy experiences,
lie of the ideas, believes, perceptions, projection, information and knowledge of
this world, not seeing and realizing that by this I manipulated myself,
tortured, diminished and dishonored and therefore accepted and allowed to
myself to live a lie of the mind, to live a lie of the system, lie of the
program as design created to enslave me and trap me through my own acceptances
and allowances towards myself.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that polarity as the good /
bad, nice / ugly, superior / inferior,
more / less, is real and that this polarities is real living, not seeing that
but accepting polarities I simply split myself into two, where I moved within
and as polarities of the mind and thus generate the energy as the friction
between this polarities as judgments of myself, not seeing and realizing that
this judgments are not real, not real seeing me as who I really am as physical
as flesh as one, but just following the program of friction and polarity and
thus living trapped in the mind, not seeing and realizing that nothing as good
or bad do not exists, not seeing and realizing that nothing like superiority or
inferiority is real, not seeing and realizing that nothing like more / less do
not exists, not seeing that physical as life is real here, stable and one, and
that I separated myself from life, from physical by judgments of myself, that I
separated myself from myself through accepting to judge me, through accepting
to split me, to do not live me but just design of polarities as brainwashing of
me.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that any energy experience within
my body is real, and think and believe that any of this is real, not seeing and
realizing that by this believe I separated myself from myself, that I created
distance from myself, because of energy experiences I believes are real, not
seeing and realizing that this is not possible to be real, as what is real must
remain, and what is not real have an end, and thus only what is real is
physical therefore my body as flesh, as matter, and that this is only value
which matters.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to do
not see and realize that here is only one constant which always remain, and
that it is physical and therefore anything which do not remain is illusions,
therefore I separated myself as a being from that what is real as physical
because of accepting living the in and as the trap of the mind as polarity
design.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to do not see and realize, that everything I know
as information and knowledge is of the mind therefore not real.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to do not see and realize that anything of the
thoughts and of feelings and emotions is of the mind, therefore not real.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to do not see and realize, that only what is
real will remain, thus it is my responsibility to stop to live and illusion and
became equal and one with the physical as my body and stop abuse, torture and
manipulation of myself with thoughts.
Thanks,
Juraj
