You need to sleep to grow up,
You need to sleep because it is time to go to bed, You have to go sleep, You
have to wake up - it is time, You can’t sleep longer, Go to bed – it is not
time to wake up, You have to go to school – you have to wake up, Wake up – we go
away, Wake up – we go to work, Wake up – we go to church, You have to sleep –
otherwise you will be tired, You have to sleep – if don’t you will not be
strong, To sleep 8 hours is good, I like to sleep 8 hours, I like to sleep
really long, Is good to sleep 8 hours or more, you need it, and your body also.
You must be tired, This is exhausting and hard – I will be tired, I feel I am
tired, If I’ll do that – I will be tired, I worked hard – thus I must be tired,
Do not disturb me – go to sleep.
Some of the statements I heard
from my parents, my family members, or others when I was young, some of them I took
and start to believe that are true and some I rejected or became pisses off
about, some I shaped according my perception of particular situation.
As a young boy, when I was
looking forward on something which should happen tomorrow, I can’t stay in bed
when I opened eyes and jumped out of the bed, when school years come I postponed
my jumping from bed and over years it was no longer jumping but rather sneaking.
What was in my mind as next day responsibilities,
issues, possible experiences etc. therefore according this my waking up shaped
and time how long I spent in bed.
As a child, when I had to learn English
words and as I was forced to learn it, I rejected it many times and when the
time for “exams” come at the evening I rather
pretended that I am sleeping and hide in front of fact, that I fucked off to
learn some “stupid “ words without any meaning to me, as I saw no purpose why I
should to learn English words if no one is speaking with such words around me, I
rather played and enjoyed myself. Thus I used sleeping as hiding and as
protection mechanism.
I enjoyed the dreams as a child
as I have no idea or understanding what dreams means and this supported me in
creating various mind projections about the world, my life, me. I never
understood how is possible that I see the light and pictures in dreams, as I have
closed eyes, how come that I move or experience anything while I am sleeping,
just mind, nothing of that real.
Lot of times in past I experienced
big struggles when I wanted to sleep, now mostly I fall asleep in one moment, I
just breathe in and out and I am sleeping, to go to sleep mostly it is not
process anymore, sometimes the waking up is still process, as I do not want to
go out from bed immediately as I like just laying and relax.
With the waking up at the morning,
I had really big struggles with that, now it is much better and last times I am
able to sleep 5-6 hours, and be not tired during the day, and wake up and do
not again fall asleep, as with this I had huge issue, but anyway, it is still
not immediate and constant.
The feeling of tiredness and
believing that it is tiredness or that I am tired, I experienced always in my
head region, very cool how mind is able to place energy experience into head
and also how easy it is to fall to believe that this experience is real.
In the past, I would never even
think that I can manage from sleeping 8-10 hours or more into a 5-6 hours sleeping
and be fine with me and ok during the day.
Still it is not perfect, still it is not absolutely constant, so, what
is perfection about? To manage things, living into consistent and constant
application of self, in all aspects and all facets of self, here, constant and
consistent, this will be quite interesting.
I
forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to think and believe
that I have and need to sleep to grow up.
I
forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to go to sleep
according saying that it is time to go to sleep and bound and link the decision
to go sleep into a time and what time it is, instead of necessity of my
physical body to rest.
I
forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to submit in front of
saying that I have to go sleep and dictate from my environment.
I
forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to link my waking up
into a time and time perception and believing that it is time to wake up,
instead of allowing myself to wake up and stand up from the bed when my physical
body is rested.
I
forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to accept the saying
that I can’t sleep more instead of trusting to my body as physical and see and
realize when my body is rested.
I
forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to link and attach my
waking up into a necessity to go to school and connect and create within me not
likeness of going to school and from this derive not likeness to want to wake
up and stand up from the bed.
I
forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to create within me
not likeness to wake up and stand up from the bed when I was forced to wake up
and from this to create within me perception and believe that I am still tired.
I
forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to think and believe
that I have to sleep as when not that I will be tired, instead of realizing the
necessity of my physical body to rest and relax.
I
forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to think and believe
that if I will go to sleep I will be strong.
I
forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to think and believe
that to sleep 8 hours is good and that I need to sleep this time frame.
I
forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to create within me
likeness to sleep long and define this long as more than 8 hours time frame.
I
forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to think and believe
that it is good to sleep more than 8 hours time frame and think and believe
that my body needs to rest, sleep and relax more than 8 hours.
I
forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to think and believe
that when I work on something that I have to be tired and not realizing if my
body is really physically tired.
I
forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to create within me
the projection that if I will work on something which I perceive as hard that I
will be tired or exhausted and from this exist within and as mind projection
that something is hard and that if I will do that I will be tired.
I
forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to think and believe
that when I completed and finish something which I perceive as hard thus I have
to be tired, instead of see and realize if my physical body is really tired.
I
forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to use sleeping as
hiding in front of myself as protection mechanism in front of fact that I do
not completed my responsibilities or that what was required from myself to
complete or learn.
I
forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to use sleeping as
hiding in front of fact that I rejected something which I was forced to learn
or complete and thus do not have to face it.
I
forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to do not stand up
from bed immediately when I open my eyes and took my breath in.
I
forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to think and believe
that when I will stand up from bed immediately after I wake up that I will be
tired during the day and that I will not be rested properly.
I
forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to like and create
likeness within me with postponing my standing up from the bed after I woke up,
instead of stand up immediately as I know and realize that anyway I will have
to stand up.
I
forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to do not be
consistent with my sleeping less than 6 hours.
I
forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to think that when I slept
for several days less than 6 hours I deserve to sleep at least one day more
than 6 hours.
I commit
myself to sleep less than 6 hours consistently.
I commit
myself to stand up from bed after I wake up and took my breath in.
I commit
myself to be constant and consistent with my application of sleeping less than
6 hours.
Thanks,
Juraj
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