Day 138 : Fear of sound

                I realized interesting point, and that is fear of sound, of specific sounds I created within me, and this fear is based on self judgment, or perception of myself doing something bad, or when I attended school, when I was not prepared in some subject, and thus I feared what will happen when teacher will come, that I will have to probably answer on that I was not prepared into.

                This fear, and trigger point of that fear became the ringing of the bell. The perception of ringing, and sense of fear is within me always as a point of being “catch” that I do something bad, or that I do something which I should not, or that someone will enter into my room or place where I am, or that something will be exposed about me, and therefore fear of being exposed, fear of someone entering.

                Thus fear of sound, fear of ringing bell, fear of keys entered into the door, fear of knocking on the door, as not knowing who is behind the door, and thus also fear of unknown. Therefore within this, is also fear of facing myself.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to create within and as me fear of sound as ringing bell, fear of sound as keys entered into the door, fear of sound as hearing knocking on the doors, as a point of fearing to be exposed because of my self judgment of doing something bad, of perception of doing something bad, of not knowing who is behind the door, and thus fear to face myself, and thus think and believe that this fear is real experience of myself, that this fear as energy experience is me, that this energy movement as nervousness, anxiety and fear is real, instead of see and realize, that by this I feared myself and feared to face me.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to exist within and as fear of being exposed, being judged, being catch because of my own self judgment of doing something bad and thus existing in and as polarity of the mind good / bad.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to exist within and as fear of facing me, as a point of separation myself from myself and thus create within me the fear of sound as ringing bell, keys entered into a door, knocking on the door, and thus hide myself and do not want to be exposed and thus face me.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to fear to be exposed as a point of separation from myself and thus hiding within and as realms of the mind.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to fear to be exposed because of fear of being judged.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to hide in front of those I thought that I will be judged and run away from them instead of see and realize that this fear is fear of me judging me.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that I will be judged by others and thus rather run away from others, do not communicate with them and do not share myself with them, and rather hide and exist within and as mind in secret and hiding.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to fear that I will be punished when I will expose what I did and thus rather hide everything what I perceive I can be punished of judged for.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to do not want to be confronted with my words, actions, and thus hide that what I do not want to be confronted with.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that fear of myself is real, instead of see and realize that everything which exist is me, thus I always feared myself.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to fear sound as a trigger point of being exposed, catch and thus fear to be confronted with my actions, words and thus myself.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to exist within and as separation from the sound because I feared sound as a point of being exposed, catch as a point of my own self judgment instead of see and realize that I am sound thus I can’t fear myself.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to exist in and as mind trigger point of sound in environment I am in as a ringing bell, key entered into a door or knocking on the door, as a point of fear as being exposed, catch and thus confronted with that what I did, because of my own self judgment of doing something bad and thus exist within and as polarity of the mind as good / bad in judgment of myself and my actions, instead of see and realize, what I am doing, why and if this serves me for something or not.

Thanks, Juraj