Money and the usage of money,
became the most misunderstood point within my life, and usage of money real
horror in my life. Due to the lack of education from my parents, where religion
brainwashing was really extensive, thus I created really terrible perception of
money and myself within this world, and simply because of this I refused to
take self responsibility for usage of money.
Money, and how I saw myself,
people, and why, the foundation of this is my father and my mother, where I wanted
to be like father and better than him, and opposite of my mother.
All other points related to
perception of money, when I start to grow up was layers upon layers of
bullshits and lies within me as creation of myself through acceptance of mind
components.
I was many times in that
position, when I perceived that I walked for myself this money point, but after
all and everything the fall of myself took place, and next and another layers
come up within me, another points and another self deception and my delusion in
regards of seeing money.
The information and knowledge I have
about money, is quite extensive, but this serve to me for nothing because it is
knowledge, for myself to see and realize how, why and when and because of what I
created the myself the way I did, I placed myself into a position of risking my
life, and after all I see it was not necessary to go through everything I went
through, but it is done and what I did and created for myself is something, no
one would like to go through, as it was horror and just simply question is why?
And the very simply answer is, I
didn’t walked self correction in relation of money and usage of them, as to walk
self correction for myself was impossible, not matter how much self forgiveness
I applied, no matter how much times I tried, I simply never walked through the
door I opened for myself to free myself from this deception I created within
and as me as money, because I was still looking into the past and because of
this still judging myself for that what I accepted within me.
Yes, thanks self forgiveness I realized
many points related to this, and one shocked me more than other, you can imagine
that hundreds of self forgiveness points I applied, and when it looked I am
done I fall and because of this fall I judged myself, because I was really
pissed of myself and thus trapped myself into circle of applying self
forgiveness, standing the point for various periods of time, and again fall,
and again repeat this circle and simply, from certain perspective I am tired of
this.
I see than within this point I moved
forward, but still, I am not sure if this was enough for myself to finally walk
through the doors I still see opened and simply close them and never look back
on this door, and let this in the past as where past should remain.
This all, and everything I did
because of money, simply means, that I never decided to stand up for myself in
this point, as if I would, thus this words would be never written here.
The points I stand for myself,
are done and I do not have to go back to that points, and this point of money,
now seems to me like only point which is still here, like I gave all my
attention in my mind to this point, and thus made from this point the mountain
if front of myself, but not seeing and realizing the simplicity of walking this
point and what I really have to do to walk self correction.
And to make from some point, the
biggest point is useless, because, mountain seems to be too big to walk
through, and because mountain I created in front of me, thus fear I created within
me, as what if I am not able to walk through.
It is paradox, I feared what I created
within me, as me, and I placed this point as more than me, thus me as inferior
and thus see myself that maybe possibly I am not able to walk it.
But what is this about, to see,
realize, and correct. Maybe, I finally realized and maybe I correct myself
after all. Maybe, I finally really see what I created within me, and maybe
finally I will walk this.
Time will show.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to see myself as loser and the one who always
lose and thus separate myself from success and exist within and as mind
polarity of lose / success.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to myself to separate myself from my father and
see my father as superior and myself as inferior, and thus accept to live the
mind design of superiority / inferiority.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to separate myself from design, systems and programs
and think and believe that those are bad as those took away from myself my
money and thus exist as memory of systems which are taking money away from
myself in separation from myself, instead of see and realize that it was me who
accepted and allowed to myself to give away my money.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to separate myself from time, as time is just
flow of moments one by one.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that I see and made money
as an object of desire, in separation of myself from money as physical and thus
fear money, instead of see myself and money as equal and one as physical as
that what is real as paper and coins and thus use money the effective way to
support myself here.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that fear of money is real,
and that I have to fear money and think and believe that money are bad.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that I will never have
money, and that money are the point god is against and that if I want to enter
to heaven I have to live as poor, as loser, as the one who have nothing and
only then I will be able to enter the heaven as god domain.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that I have not had to have
money because of religion brainwashing of perception of money.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that I never have money and
that I have to be poor.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to see myself through money as when I have money
that I am more and when I do not that I am less and thus accept myself to live
as polarity of the mind more / less.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to see having money as be free and have freedom
and thus desire to get lot of money, to have a lot of money and by this desire
separate myself from money.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to see myself as a slave when I do not have
money and thus do things which makes from me slave of money because I saw
myself that way.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to judge my father and see him as bad because he
took away my money away from me and thus think and believe that always someone
will took away my money and thus act, behave the way this came true, because of
this believe and because I existed in fear towards the money because of believe
that money will be taken away from myself by some authority.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to refuse to pay for that what I have to pay
for.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to judge my father because he do not punished me
when I wanted to steal in shop and when I stole money and thus think and
believe that stole money is ok, because of seeing myself through punishment
from my father, and thus what I was punished for see as bad and what I was not
punished for see as good and ok.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to see myself through points my father punished
me or not, and thus what I was punished for see as bad and judge as bad and what
I was not see as good and ok, and thus exist within and as mind polarity of
punished / not punished thus good / bad.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to create within me the energy friction as
seeing myself through money and money by itself, and thus if I have money see
me as superior and that I have right to talk and if not thus I have to shut up
and remain silent and thus exist within and as polarity design of having / not
having money and be this generate energy within me, as when I have money thus I
am the one and superior and if not feel sadness, sorrow and pain and judge
myself as bad and not worthy.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to see me through money and as that If I have
money thus I am accepted and if not thus I am rejected by others, not seeing
and realizing that it is me who have to accept me, not through money, but me as
all as equal, no matter how much money I have.
I forgive to myself that I have
not accepted and allowed to myself to accept myself no matter if I have money
or not.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to see myself through reward system and thus see
myself that I will be rewarded by money and want to be rewarded by money if I
do some action, and judge others as bad if they do not reward me with money.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to judge my father as bad because ho do not gave
me any money from those I found in wienna, because I desired to receive some
money and expected that he will give me some money and thus exist within and as
mind judgment of my father as bad because he do not fulfilled my desire and my
expectation and thus separate myself from him.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to judge my father because he do not wanted to
pay for glasses which I needed to see correctly and thus think and believe that
it is ok when I do not want to pay for something I have to, and thus refuse to
pay for that what I should.
I forgive to myself that I have
not accepted and allowed to myself to see and accept the money as part of me,
and thus exist within and as separation from money in realms of the mind, not
seeing and realizing that money as physical are the same as me, and that I am
one and equal with money thus I can’t desire money I am already money also.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to act, behave and create myself as opposite
towards my mother as the one who think and believe that I do not need to
calculate how much money I get and what I should pay for and thus use money
effectively.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to see myself through polarity of the mind as
money, as having money thus see myself more than, and superior and having not
money as less then thus inferior, exist within and as mind design of
inferiority and superiority and compare myself with those who have more money
and thus see myself inferior and that I can’t speak because I do not have money
in comparison with those who have more, not seeing and realizing that within
this I always compared myself with myself.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to be as my father as he was making money by
trading the stuff and thus want to also trade and prove to others that I can
earn money by trading.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to want to be good as my father in relation of
getting the money, and better to provide money to my family that my family will
never be short of money and have to not experience that what I did because our
family was poor and thus see myself as poor and thus desire to have and get
money for myself.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to do not see and realize that starting point as
desire for wanting to have money is my self deception, as by this I am saying
that I live separated from money and that I judge them.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to became the slave of money because I separated
myself from money and thus see them as more than me, not seeing and realizing
that money are just physical as me, and that I am equal and one with money as
physical.
. Thanks,
Juraj
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