Imagination

            With this word by itself, word magic is resonating within me. I liked to imagine, and when I did this, it was mostly about future, how things will be, related to relationship with a girl, towards money, my living, house, the way how I would like to live or where I would like to live.

            Most prominent I used to imagine future when I met a new girl and started to date with her, when I started to think about her, imagine the places where we should go, what I would like to do with her, and mostly how sex could be with her.

            The next point related to money, what I would like to do when I would have really a lot of money, what I would buy or where my steps will head on, to experience things I never could because those money I simply do not have.   I liked to imagine, how I would like to get this money, or how much, and I can say, that even billions was in my head and how I would use it.

            Imagination “ served “ me during times when I used it as an escape from reality, when I was not able to “ live “ within my reality and thus I run away from it to different places in my head, to different words, where I was secure, safe and when the Imagined reality was “ more simple “ than this one.

            There were a lot of things what I imagined what and how I would like to do, and some of them, I never did.

            And, nothing of this is here, it is always in the future, it is always in the past, each time I imagined something, it was never here thus never real. As it couldn’t be, because, all just illusions – self made projections of likes, just imagined.

            But actually, to imagine things, and make things happen, is completely different scenario.

Thanks, Juraj

Imagination – The way how to escape failed.

                I used to imagine in my life plenty of things, I liked to imagine how it could be to win a lot of money and use it to change something in this world or build something, or use it for support of myself or others, I liked to imagine how it could be to explore the universe, the stars and the planets, to meet different life forms and know them. I liked to see myself as the best in the games, in the sports, I liked to see myself as the best one of the bests, king of the kings.

                I never wanted to save someone, as I never understood why someone should be saved from something, and I never liked the idea of savior which religion for example presents. I am not savior of anyone, and I am not savior of myself, I do not need to be saved, how can I be saved from myself?

                I can’t be saved from my creation, I can’t escape, and why I should escape? I do not need to run away from me, as I am here I have to face myself, I have to face me, why to fear me?

                That’s so ridiculous to fear me, to create an illusion of fear of who I am. More simple is just to face what I created and direct myself and that’s it. No rocket since in it, just common sense.

I liked to imagine myself with women, to explore everything what I could in sexuality, this was my investigation for some years, but by paradox, energy based, so I just find out how I deceived myself with that energy, but that’s cool, now I can see it within me.

When I was in troubles, I liked imagination of dark tunnel between the walls where I could move into different world which I created and I was there, I was in my world and I enjoyed my creation, there was nothing which could disturb me, I was alone there. Only me, there was my world, plants, trees, water, the earth but not people, I never had people in my world.

I never allowed other people to be in my world. I was alone all the time.

Now I have to tell, all was just an illusion I created in my mind, nothing real, nothing substantial, just imagination, flashing pictures – illusionary world where I separated myself from others, do not exist anymore.

I am here, and I do not have to imagine anything, I am fine with me alone and I am fine with people around me, through them I explore myself.

Thanks, Juraj