Sunday, January 13, 2013

Day 154 : Thinking is root cause of all problems

                As I started to realize years ago what thoughts really are, as deception of self, as that what has been programmed and created to enslave human being, and therefore myself, I became interested of living without a thoughts within me, and thus I start to apply breathing, self forgiveness and I have to say, at the beginning of my process, the amount of thoughts within me has been so extensive, that it seems to me that to stop all of them is simply impossible.

                But it is possible, and even is possible to be, exist, live, move without a thought in the head. Therefore question is, what the thoughts really represent, if one is able to exist without? What is the purpose of thoughts, if those thoughts can be stopped, released and let go, simply, all of them. Who remain if all thoughts are released?

                Then who we are as beings, if we are not able to recognize the simplicity of living without a thoughts, therefore being, existing, expressing ourselves as who we really are as beings without being directed with such deception as thoughts represent?

                  As I became aware of me breathing, and focusing on my breath, interesting points I started to realize in regards of thoughts, that I became aware exactly which thoughts directs me, within situation, what thoughts are part of me, and at the beginning I had tendency to judge some thoughts and thus suppress them and do not want to look on those which showed me what is also part of me.

                As I stopped to judge my own thoughts, and became aware that those thoughts are all equal, no matter how those or that thought can look, it is simply a thought, nothing else, nothing more.

                After a certain period, I realized that this thoughts which repeats by itself, have specific structure, pattern, and thus the thoughts simply are not random, even if this can look that way. Why, when and which thought pops up in my head, had specific structure, as patterns connecting to each other, therefore like small programs keeping running in my head, and thus I was just follower of this small programs.

                But as I started to stop those thoughts, I start to face specific problem, and that was the trust, believe in my own back chat, as this believe has been so strong that to break this looked really being impossible, as this back chat had tendency to came back over and over at the beginning almost in each situations I moved within environment, and thus years ago I faced interesting point, when I realized that I can’t trust this back chat, as simply I faced the point of me, when nothing of my own back chat matched reality, therefore that just showed me how deceptive in nature back chat is.

                After some period, the back chat start to emerge again and I started to hear that back chat as I fall in believe that maybe possibly this is who me is, and the nature of back chat became simply different. After specific period, as I started to walk my process more fast in meaning, applying breath more effectively, writing more often, applying sf more, and developed trust in self forgiveness, I start to face the root cause of my biggest believes, strongest perceptions and ideas about myself, in meaning, my own self interest.

                And my own self interest I started to see, realize and understood what this really is, was the biggest problem I faced, as the self interest is energy. I started to see and realize how I defined myself through the energy I required for myself, and within this interesting points emerged for myself to see and realize, that the positive energy I had tendency to perceive I look for, was not the cause of my own self interest, even this can look that way, but in fact my own self definitions as negative was the points I wanted and required for myself, and the positive was just balance of negative and deception to not see what are parts of me as negative.

                Therefore I started to see and realize, that what I was living as fear, and existing in and as fear as the definition of me towards this energy, thus that I let my mind to direct myself to get this experience as fear. And therefore the fear was that what I required for myself and all derivatives of this fear, in perception and believe that this energy I get is simply me living me, but it was never so.

                Other layers of fear had been mostly not understood, recognized and seen by me, as mostly I misplaced the experience I had and thought it is something good, nice, and positive, that what I like, but again it was fear.

                As I started to walk the points of fear, to see and realize how I trapped myself in energy experiences of fear, another suppressed points start to emerge day by day, always linked to specific back chats from past or present, and thus always I got to the point of seeing, that root cause was my own thoughts and fear I lived.

                Fear by itself, was basic platform of every energy experience I had. Thus fear as energy has been simply the point of self interest as well, as fear as energy experience is in fact only energy experience humans live. Yes there are many believes it is not so, that all other energy experiences are something else, nice, positive, but going deeper to this experiences, one always find the fear as basic platform of this.

                Therefore, thoughts by itself are representation of fear, and fear is that what directs humans, because of fear of themselves, ourselves, as who we are, because we separated from ourselves, through fear.

Thanks, Juraj


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