Desire & Need

               Maybe I would not be able to count, how many times I desired something, or how much times I thought that I need something or want something.

                I can go through desire to be in relationship and be with someone who would possible understand me, to be with someone and can speak with this persona openly without judgments, to share myself and enjoy the presence of other being, enjoy the intimacy and sex, touches, kisses, the words and looks into each other eyes, the desire to find a woman which could possibly understand and see what is going on here and why.

                Or desire to win lots of money and be independent of the system and could not worry about the money and could not go into work and do not have to bother if I have money to buy this or that, to not worry how much I have.

                The desire to show others how good I am, to make the jealous of my goodness and within that make me more than I really am.

                The various sexual desires, some of them fulfilled and some of them I simply let go, as I realized that always it would be fake experience if I will just follow my mind on the road of this desires.

                The desire to be accepted and not judged, the desire to be noticed, this one comes from my family.

                The desire to be free, experience the freedom of living without anything which I should worry about, the desire to be a child and just enjoy the simplicity of the moment while playing.

                Desire to see the world and the desire to live forever, desire to see the universe and travel through it and meet with all races possibly found.

                Desire to not have to live on planet where the life becomes the hell for the most humans here, the desire to have power and be able to change the things.

                Desire to not have reality the way as it is with the mechanics within, the want to live in different word entirely.

                I could continue and continue and maybe list of the desires would be really long, but some of them have no more power over me, do not dictate my actions and way how I live. Some of them are still part of me and thus directing my life.

                And I see, as I was able to let go some desires which was really strong within me, and over time I was surprised that I was able to just let it go, maybe the time has come to let go each one.

                I know that desire is just separation from myself, the fake believe and fake perception, I see that each one is of the mind, and thus not real.

Thanks, Juraj

Absolute stand

                I had a long chats with different people, going through various ages and various positions, we talked about many points, sexuality, money system, desires, believes, behavior of people, interesting thing I noticed, then when I talked about points related to sexuality I become excited not by pictures of projections or fantasies as I can stop them and not allow myself to go into fantasies, but excited by the words by itself.

                This means that I defined myself towards these words and from them create the excitement, which I can handle and not escalate it and this is related to sexual experiences form my past which has been based on energy.

                Another interesting point is, that a lot of people see how this system is wrongly set up, and simply how much abuse is here, how much deception, etc, but they have simply fear to stand up and not follow and not to conform the society.

                Lot of people see how our money system is completely wrong, but all of them say the same, you cannot change it. Yes, I can’t change it, group can change it, individual can change himself and group can change the system we live in.

                In those chats I hurt my hand as I didn’t noticed pressure with my hand I placed on laptop, and the pain I experienced was great and still I can feel it, but this shows that when I am to much involved in something I can hurt myself without noticing it, where also mind is in search for some excitement, something which could possibly generate the energy.

                Interesting point is, that when I do not experience anything related to feelings or excitement, within me is something through which I would possibly manipulate myself for generating the energy based on words which could give me the same false sense of “ living “.

                This just means, that I am able to stand up, but I have to stand up absolutely.

Thanks, Juraj