Sunday, April 29, 2012

Nasty – you mangy liar

                The second scenario from mentioned day of yesterday’s writings was, in shop with sales parson.

                I was paying and I wanted to give to that persona the banknote with coins, to match the price and receive back just two coins, to make it easier for her and also for me, I perceived this as good solution.

                She replied that it will not help to her that she has no 10 euro cents and 20 euro cents thus she can’t accept it and she just took the banknote. I said ok, no problem.

                At my surprise, she is giving me at the moment 2 euro coin and four 10 euro cents coins. I asked her, why she lied 30 seconds ago that she do not have those coins, and now she is giving it to me.

                I was calm in my question, she do not replied anything which will clarify the situation or answer my question, that maybe she was wrong or anything thus I continued, and at my surprise, in my life I never said loudly but calm within me, publicly, directly to her – Do not lie, why you lie? Do not lie you mangy liar.

                And I turned back and get out of that shop.

                Yes I could choose different words but I said what I said, at the evening, I was speaking about this situation to one guy, and here I noticed interesting thing, that I became angry for a moment while I spoke about this, not at her, but at the way how she lied. Why she lied if in 30 seconds this lie has been revealed? She has to be aware of it, hm, maybe not, whatever.

                And within this, I realized why I become angry while speaking about this situation. She was possibly not aware at all what she said, she could have in the head many possible thoughts and thus in her speech she could be really innocent, from my perspective, I was pissed off how she lied. Why to bother to lie if this will be revealed after few moments?

                My perception of lying is, that if someone lie, thus present it the way that it will be not revealed thus it will be perceived as true, that’s the point if someone is lying. And from this, I realized, that I perceive myself as one who can really professionally lie, and thus that I am more than those who can’t lie in such good manner.

                What a fuck up. Just because I can lie better it do not makes me more than anybody else, I am equal to any persona, no matter how they lie, behave, speech or act. That’s simply irrelevant, because each one has different intentions and I do not know a shit about it.

                Relevant is, who I am within the situation, what I see and how I direct my words, my interactions, and how I behave and how I express within moments.

Thanks, Juraj

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