The second scenario from
mentioned day of yesterday’s writings was, in shop with sales parson.
I was paying and I wanted to
give to that persona the banknote with coins, to match the price and receive
back just two coins, to make it easier for her and also for me, I perceived
this as good solution.
She replied that it will not
help to her that she has no 10 euro cents and 20 euro cents thus she can’t
accept it and she just took the banknote. I said ok, no problem.
At my surprise, she is giving me
at the moment 2 euro coin and four 10 euro cents coins. I asked her, why she
lied 30 seconds ago that she do not have those coins, and now she is giving it
to me.
I was calm in my question, she
do not replied anything which will clarify the situation or answer my question,
that maybe she was wrong or anything thus I continued, and at my surprise, in
my life I never said loudly but calm within me, publicly, directly to her – Do not
lie, why you lie? Do not lie you mangy liar.
And I turned back and get out of
that shop.
Yes I could choose different
words but I said what I said, at the evening, I was speaking about this
situation to one guy, and here I noticed interesting thing, that I became angry
for a moment while I spoke about this, not at her, but at the way how she lied.
Why she lied if in 30 seconds this lie has been revealed? She has to be aware
of it, hm, maybe not, whatever.
And within this, I realized why
I become angry while speaking about this situation. She was possibly not aware
at all what she said, she could have in the head many possible thoughts and
thus in her speech she could be really innocent, from my perspective, I was
pissed off how she lied. Why to bother to lie if this will be revealed after
few moments?
My perception of lying is, that
if someone lie, thus present it the way that it will be not revealed thus it
will be perceived as true, that’s the point if someone is lying. And from this,
I realized, that I perceive myself as one who can really professionally lie,
and thus that I am more than those who can’t lie in such good manner.
What a fuck up. Just because I
can lie better it do not makes me more than anybody else, I am equal to any
persona, no matter how they lie, behave, speech or act. That’s simply
irrelevant, because each one has different intentions and I do not know a shit
about it.
Relevant is, who I am within the
situation, what I see and how I direct my words, my interactions, and how I
behave and how I express within moments.
Thanks,
Juraj
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