Day 17 : Time – Tie-me

                Time does not exist. However, it seems that it does, actually, for me, one day is like ages. I noticed, the more I am focused on moment which is here, the less I am in my mind participating on whatever mind can deliver me, and thus it is like losing the sense of time.

                Yes, one hour can pas but actually what is this one hour? How long it is? It is just measurement of consequential actions one by one defined by length of time in meaning, how much time passed between one action and second one and then third etc.

                The experience of myself is here, whatever I can experience it is always here, it is never defined by time as it can’t be as I can’t experience something what happened or what will happen thus I am here and each moment finish thus my experience of myself finish and thus new moment is here thus new experience of myself is here.

                Question is, who decide what I am experiencing or why? What are influences on myself, external or internal which make me to experience something? Should my environment define what I experience within me as me? Am I so submitted to my environment that this can change experience of me? And if yes, how come?

 Does even my environment have some power over me that can dictate what I should experience?

Environment around me is stable, physical, here, standing, sometimes moving, but physical by itself is simply stable. So physical as stability by itself can influence very experience of myself? Why it should be that way?

Simply, I see something in physical, should this something influences what or who I am? Am I so defined to environment that as I move within reality thus just pictures influences who I am? Isn’t this quite “ fucked “? It is the physical doing this to me or, it is me who is creating this within me as me?

It is me. Always it is me, nothing else. No people around, no physical environment, simply nothing, everything I am creating as experience of me, or allowing to be my experience or thin that is my experience or believe I am experiencing this, is always me in all ways possible.

So it is me who defined myself such way that I experience something in meaning, energy experience towards anything that exist within or without.

Once I release myself from the very definition of the mind I created and do not experience energy movement anymore towards specific point within/without, thus was that experience before me?

No. Simply no. It was not real, it was not real experience of myself of who I am within moment. It was energy movement I created through very participation within my mind.

Interesting thing is, to move within reality without any thought in the mind. Yes I see people around, pictured, 3D space I am moving within, I move my body and I experience movement of my body, me breathing but without thought interaction, I do not create energy within me as I move and I am moment by moment calm within me as I move.

As I move from one point to another, I came to my end point where I sit for example, and I am here, does any time passed as I am still here? How passed time, or what should be this time, as I am still here? Some number on clock and the very saying that passed 10 minutes? What does this mean as I am still here? Yes, I moved from one moment to another, but that’s all, nothing passed. Even it can’t as I see that everything is still here.

Mind measure, everything and compare everything with everything, judge and trying to explain or validate, but stop this. What will be the measurement than?

Self and how self stand within and as self in self honesty. That is the only measurement which will remain.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to think and believe that I exist within and as time as the measurement system of the mind where everything is measured and compared and judged.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to tie myself into past memories as energy connection to the pictured 3D reality and from this derive experiences of me through very participation in the mind on thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to define myself according numbers on clock in comparison between starting point and ending point of this comparison and from equated number derive the sense of time and my perception that this was long or this was quick or fast according my perception what should be long/fast in my very self definition to this numbers.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to believe that existence is based on time and that physical is defined by the time.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to submit my life according sense of time creation and time perception within me according measurement of actions I did.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to define my words to time and my actions to time perception/creation within me and thus bound myself to this perception.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to give value to time and empower the mind with value/sense of time and thus move/speak exist within and as very self definition to this value.

Thanks, Juraj