Today I met my flat mate in the
lift, and she was totally angry on me, because I dared to use balcony without
her permission to go through her room, the fact that she is going into my room,
her parents and her dog also, was completely irrelevant and forgotten fact for
her, as she was only seeing what I dared. So she was really furious about on
me.
As I was hearing her shouting on
me in anger, I started to laugh because it was funny for me, what she is expressing
and how she behave, the “ stupidity “ of such situation was obvious. As I
started laugh she became even more pissed off about me and she wanted to not
laugh on her, I just replied that I am not laughing on her, that I am laughing
that she is angry without any reason, and thus she is not able to communicate,
just shouting on me.
As she continued, I noticed
interesting point, it was like she is trying to take over me through her anger,
as she wants to be dominant and more through her anger, and I started to
experience like losing my stability as what she was trying to impose on me that
I did something bad/wrong and that she has the right to be angry and scream on
me.
The energy experience starting
to emerge within me as losing my balance, my hands start to shake a bit as I experience
thus I just tried to calm down situation and speak, but it was not helping me
to direct situation as to communicate with someone where his/her mind took over
and communicate just as anger is quite difficult, thus I saw that I just need
to stop this as this was leading nowhere and so I stopped this communication,
turned back and just left away.
I realized, that I do not like
to face people while they are angry, as I see difficulties to direct this
communication and also the point that I am during such event losing my own stability,
and as I stop participate in such event, my stability was back, but I see that I
should be able to be stable the same way, doesn’t matter which event I am
facing.
I forgive
myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to lose my stability and
balance while facing the anger as someone expressing anger in front of me.
I forgive
myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to lose balance when I face
someone who is angry.
I forgive
myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to create within me the
energy experience or losing my balance and stability, instead of realizing that
I can focus on my breath the very same way as during other situation and thus
keep my balance and stability and do not allow myself to be taken over be anger
of someone else.
I forgive
myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to lose my stability and
balance while facing someone who Is trying to impose on me that I did something
bad and thus I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to
create within me the energy experience as perception that I did something bad
and thus I allowed myself to go out of my balance.
I forgive
myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to participate on
communication with someone who is angry and not directing myself effectively to
stop this anger influence me and thus I forgive myself that I have allowed and
accepted to myself to be influenced by anger of person I am facing.
I forgive
myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to be influenced as my
experiences of me while communicating with someone who is possessed by
emotions/feelings.
I forgive
myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to do not realize and see
that while I face situation when someone is angry I can be calm and keep my
balance as to focus on my breath and be with my breath and be stability and
balance as me and thus direct myself as my actions and my words to do not be
influenced by possessions of others and directed by them I forgive myself that I
have allowed and accepted to myself to be directed by energy possessions of
others and became influenced and create within me the experience and sense of losing
my own stability and balance.
Thanks,
Juraj
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