The body as a flesh as that what
is made of earth, is always here with the earth, the body never jump into a
past, the body never look to the future, my body is always here, absolutely
constant, absolutely present within moment, each particle, each cell and
molecule which my body is made of is always here.
The synergy of this amazing
cooperation of particles, cells, molecules and their interaction built together
brilliant shape I call my body.
I am within my body, as my body,
not yet standing equal and one with each particle and molecule my body is made
of, as I allowed myself to live my life within and as mind and forget my body
and forget the reality and forget that what is real is here.
As a child I used to live here,
within reality of my body and surroundings, I used to not solve issues/problems
in my mind and I used to just enjoy that I am here. I used to not live as
desires, I used to not imagine and I used to not fear. As I was growing up, as
I was starting looking upon adults and what they can do, point by point I
started to losing the touch of my body, the presence of my body, and I started
to live more and more in the mind, moving myself up to my head, in absolute
believe that the voice I heard in my head is voice of myself, that I am this
voice and thus it is my this voice I hear.
The conspiracy of this trust to
this voice is my allowance and acceptance to judge, to compare, to diminish, to
desire, to wish, to pray, to separate myself from myself and imprison myself
into a mind just for sake of trust and believe I am voice in my head and thus
the things I see through this voice and how I understand things through the
voice of mind are valid, true, and the most ultimate deception of myself not
seeing and realizing that it is fear.
The ignition and the trigger of
the mind is the fear. The ignition of separation is fear. The ignition of ego
is fear. The ignition and the trigger of each component of the mind is fear.
Fear as the building platform where I built myself accordingly, that what I
call I is completely and entirely build on fear, and this fear, I forgot is
fear and thus I started to call it life and living, as I started to perceive
that it is normal and valid “ expression and living “ of myself, even absolutely
blind that it is fear.
Everything I said to my parents,
was said within and as through this fear as I was already locked within my mind
and thus separated from my parents, because I feared them and thus I acted the
way to be not punished and in sake to be not harmed by them through hands or
through words.
My interaction in my life with
brothers and sister, was built within and as fear of them as I was separated
from them and I stood as an ego alone, the nature, the animals, the bugs and
flowers, my actions was only within and as through point of ego as separated
from everything already. Overtime according knowledge and information I got
from this world, was just adding another and another fears into and as me,
accepting it and allowing to direct me, and thus completely diminish myself, my
body, falling and falling to the point, where I fall into my knees and broke
myself into delusions of the mind through thousands of different thoughts,”
realms” of the mind, massive amount of energetic experiences accumulating
within and as my body, harming my body with the energy, as I started to live as
derived entity of my past hoping and looking upon the future in hope that in
future it will be maybe better.
I forgot my body and my body was
still here, every single moment I lived, my body was still here, just me not.
And my body didn’t punished me for everything what I have done towards, my body
still let me to live and still moment by moment use my body just for sake of my
self interest.
The amount of abuse of my body I
created towards just for sake of getting the energy is so vast, that if my body
would like to take on revenge on me, I would became probably insane within one
moment. But my body didn’t, my body tolerated everything I did, and still in
patience trying to speak with me, trying to show me, trying to support me to
see and realize when, how, why,what and for what reason I fall.
I dared to judge my body, I
dared to make my body inferior and I dared to think and believe that me as a
mind is more than physical flesh as my body.
And the interesting question
came up. Am I dependent on my body, or my body is dependent on me?
And the answer is simple. It is
me who is dependent on “mercy” of my body, my body without me is quite fine. I
used my body as a parasite, I used my body as a tool, I used my body as a
bridge for my desires. When I go to sleep, I even do not know how I can wake
up, when I sleep I am not aware of myself, I have no clue that I exist, I do
not see a shit about myself, thus here is clear, to which extent I separated
myself from my physical body through fear as energy I lived. When I sleep, my
body breathe and I am even not aware of my breath, I am not aware of my hands,
my legs, I feel no touch but I am still in the bed and my body touch the bed
and I am not aware of this touch.
Thus am I aware? What it is this
awareness when I am awake, what I am aware of and what I see and how I see? Do
I see only as a mind? Can I see only that what my mind allows me to see? Can I
realize for myself more? Am I capable to see more and consider something my
mind have no chance to consider? Can I break through the mind and be aware what
mind can’t be aware? Is mind awareness?
Mind is not awareness, mind is
system. Mind can’t see as mind is looking through memories, mind is looking
through relationships which someone explained to mind, mind learned and
evolved and just created more
sophisticated connections and relationships between points mind is capable understand
through knowledge and information someone told to me, to me as a mind.
Am I aware each single breath I
took? Am I aware each movement of my body? Am I aware each single touch I do
with my body? Am I aware each single blink of my eyes? Am I aware each single
muscle movement of my body? Am I aware each bone, each cell, each particle my
body is made of? No. Thus how come? How come that I allowed and accepted to
myself to “ live “ and not be aware? Do I live then? How I can live myself as
my body if I am even not aware how my body functions?
Can I claim I live? I can’t.
Until I am aware everything my body consist of, I can’t claim I live and that I
am aware, as I am not equal and one with and as my body.
What it is and how I can break
my mind, how I can became equal and one with each particle of my body, how I
can stand within and as my body, equal, completely present here as my body is
present here each single moment?
Stop. Stop living the mind, stop
living up in the head, stop hearing the voice, stop hearing the thoughts, stop
fear and breathe. Apply self forgiveness on each single point I allowed myself
to separate myself from, live here and be here within and as my body. To focus,
to focus on each single thing I do within and as my body through and as my
breath, to be aware what I am really doing within reality, why I am doing it,
and remove everything which is not leading myself into and as equality and
oneness.
This means, I simply have to
remove everything, point by point, into absolute specificity, detail, into most
intricate depth of myself to see and realize, to realize myself.
The fear was the building
platform I built myself onto and separated myself from myself, thus I have to
track everything within and as me as fear I allowed and accepted to myself to
became and live, as the fear is ultimate deception.
Thus after this, it is simple.
I commit
myself to walk my process and self-forgiveness into absolute detail, into
absolute specificity to remove and stop the mind I became.
Thus here I
want to look for example on color – red, what I am capable to find within and
as me in regards of red color I allowed and accepted to myself to live.
Red – Likeness-positive:
Associations / polarity
blood - positive
rose -
positive
damage - negative
vegetable - positive
sex - positive
horny - positive
excitement - positive
harm - negative
hurt - negative
bleeding - negative
fear - negative
lips - positive
beauty – perception with no energetic charge
kiss –
positive
tongue –
positive
money –
positive
warning –
negative
stop -
negative
reading –
past tense red
knowledge –
red audiences
I forgive
myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to charge word red with
positive energetic charge and exist within and as separation from word red as a
mind judgment of word red as positive thus I forgive myself that I have allowed
and accepted to myself to create within and as me likeness towards word red as
likeness and create within me relationship towards word red and separate and
from word red
thus I forgive myself that I have allowed and
accepted to myself to create within me the network of energetic connections of
the word red towards other word within and as polarity of the mind where I
associated word red with words as blood – positive, thus I forgive myself that
I have allowed and accepted to myself to charge word blood with positive
energetic charge and exist within and as separation from word blood as a mind
judgment of word blood as positive
thus I forgive myself that I have allowed and
accepted to myself to connect to word red the word rose and charge word rose
with positive energetic charge and exist within and as separation from word
rose as a mind judgment of word rose as positive
thus I forgive myself that I have allowed and
accepted to myself to connect to word red the word damage and charge word
damage with negative energetic charge and exist within and as separation from
word damage as a mind judgment of word damage as negative
thus I forgive myself that I have allowed and
accepted to myself to connect to word red the word vegetable and charge word
vegetable with positive energetic charge and exist within and as separation
from word vegetable as a mind judgment of word vegetable as positive
thus I forgive myself that I have allowed and
accepted to myself to connect to word red the word damage and charge word
damage with negative energetic charge and exist within and as separation from
word damage as a mind judgment of word damage as negative
thus I
forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to connect to word
red the word sex and charge word sex with positive energetic charge and exist
within and as separation from word sex as a mind judgment of word sex as positive
thus I
forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to connect to word
red the word horny and charge word horny with positive energetic charge and
exist within and as separation from word horny as a mind judgment of word horny
as positive
thus I
forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to connect to word red
the word excitement and charge word excitement with positive energetic charge
and exist within and as separation from word excitement as a mind judgment of
word excitement as positive
thus I
forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to connect to word
red the word harm and charge word harm with negative energetic charge and exist
within and as separation from word harm as a mind judgment of word harm as
negative
thus I
forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to connect to word
red the word hurt and charge word hurt with negative energetic charge and exist
within and as separation from word hurt as a mind judgment of word hurt as
negative
thus I
forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to connect to word
red the word bleeding and charge word bleeding with negative energetic charge
and exist within and as separation from word bleeding as a mind judgment of
word bleeding as negative
thus I
forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to connect to word
red the word fear and charge word fear with negative energetic charge and exist
within and as separation from word fear as a mind judgment of word fear as
negative
thus I
forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to connect to word
red the word warning and charge word warning with negative energetic charge and
exist within and as separation from word warning as a mind judgment of word warning
as negative
thus I
forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to connect to word
red the word stop and charge word stop with negative energetic charge and exist
within and as separation from word stop as a mind judgment of word stop as
negative
thus I
forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to connect to word
red the word lips and charge word lips with positive energetic charge and exist
within and as separation from word lips as a mind judgment of word lips as positive
thus I
forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to connect to word
red the word kiss and charge word kiss with positive energetic charge and exist
within and as separation from word kiss as a mind judgment of word kiss as
positive
thus I
forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to connect to word
red the word lips and charge word lips with positive energetic charge and exist
within and as separation from word lips as a mind judgment of word lips as
positive
thus I
forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to connect to word
red the word tongue and charge word tongue with positive energetic charge and
exist within and as separation from word tongue as a mind judgment of word
tongue as positive
thus I
forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to connect to word
red the word money and charge word money with positive energetic charge and
exist within and as separation from word money as a mind judgment of word money
as positive
thus I
forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to connect to word
red the word knowledge and charge word knowledge with positive energetic charge
and exist within and as separation from word knowledge as a mind judgment of
word knowledge as positive
thus I
forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to connect to word
red the word beauty as my own perception of something in existence.
Thanks,
Juraj
