Me and water – silent

                Some time ago, I was swimming at the lake, not too much, maybe just almost to the middle of the lake. I decided to go back, and as my condition is questionable I became little bit tired so I turn on my back and slowed down.

                Just only tiny movements I did, focusing on my breathing, on my tiny movements, in water, silent.  In that moment, there was nothing within me, just me and water. I felt nothing, no pain and no fear, no desires and no memories, no projections and no expectations, noting within me and I enjoyed the silence of me. My mind was silent, me breathing.

                In that moment, I was safe, it was like experience safety, like nothing can happen to me and nothing can harm me, nothing can move me, within me, and I enjoyed this moments.

                I would like to experience myself without anything within me each moment, as I was, it was just me and water.

Thanks, Juraj

Consequences of inaction – Harm

                I provided information based on my guess and not based on prove, receiver of this information waited in cold outside windy weather longer than I guessed it should take, enough time to be pissed off by waiting in such conditions.

                I hesitated to provide corrected information about waiting time, I prolonged it by 5-7 minutes. Enough to be very pissed off with waiting, especially when I was in taxi and person waiting for me in outside weather with not proper wearing, when I came finally person showed me that strong enough for me to realize the consequences of my inaction in right time.

                I didn’t want to harm or cause pain, but I did because I hesitated to act.

                I should act when I should act, immediately, no hesitation, I should prove and not guess, my verbiage should be clear without any allowance for misinterpretation.

Thanks, Juraj

Money as foundation for backchat

                There was believe within me, which comes from family environment, that once I will earn my own money, I can do with them anything I would like.

                I heard lot of times, that I can’t buy that or this, because it is not my money, and once I started to earn money, I just followed, spending it on that what I would like, mostly because of energy  addiction. Pure self-interest, pure delusions.

                Lot of times I heard my back chat saying against others, as money foundation why and how they are spending money, or why they do not want to pay for themselves if they should, or that now they should pay for me, solving within me and throwing judgments onto others. Or in backchat that I can do that or this because I can, as superior against all other living forms. Nice fuck up.

                I stopped this and I see how I was fucked.

                As I see from where money comes, and where money goes, my usage of money should not harm. I do not want to be harmed and not to cause harm to others, nor to abuse because I have money or can make money.

                Rather direct the money flow, where it would be beneficial for all.

Thanks, Juraj