Day 59 : Hide in fear – Hide in illusion

                 It is possible to hide oneself in fear? Yes it is. It is possible to remain hidden in fear? Yes it is. Is fear real? No. Fear is just energy experienced during events when one became frightened because of separation from oneself and not seeing directly in such events what really happened in reality, as to experience fear or frightening one have to be in mind, in thoughts, one have to already have the platform within mind created of what can possibly frighten oneself, and thus experience of fear manifest, apparently for one experiencing fear it came very real, as one within moment do not see it is just self delusion.

                Have a look. What is real is therefore real for everybody, as reality around us, the trees, the wind, the nature, we all see it and we all can experience such events and physical impact of nature, of sun, of wind, water and so. Thus this is only what is real. What you can touch, with your hands.

                The energy experiences within ones body, can’t be touched, and not matter how real it appears to oneself experiencing such energy movements, it is simply never real, as it is only self delusion of persona experiencing such energy flows, and thus, created by thoughts, which are based on past experiences, and therefore just repeating over and over again, as that is what is already contained within mind and can’t be anything new, just past, over and over and over.

                Stop thinking, and you will became real being, living here in reality, experiencing and living the life, directing and supporting life, not because of energy, as energy will be no more, but self as expression of self and what self really is.

                Try to explore, how it could be, to live without thoughts in mind. It is more than “pleasure”

I forgive to myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to hide myself in front of myself in separation from myself through believe, fear and idea of myself of who I am, instead of being here within and as moment of breath, equal to me, equal with me, living me and expressing me.

I forgive to myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to think and believe that hiding can protect me from being harmed, hurt, laughed on me, that hiding is my protection and that I need protection from myself as I separated myself from myself through ideas, believes, fear, and past experiences of being hurt, harmed and thus hold myself into such events, not seeing and not realizing that this events do not exist anymore, not seeing and realizing that anything I experienced is not more here, it is just container of memories within and as my mind I allowed and accepted to myself to live, to became and reflect.

I forgive to myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to do not see and realize for myself that only one moment exist, always, and that I am equal and one within and as moment which is here.

I forgive to myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to define here and being here as presence within and as my memories activated through act of thinking and participating on thinking, creating energy experiences for myself and therefore think and believe that thus I am here, instead of seeing and realizing that any thought which came up, means I am not more here but in the mind, that any energy flow I experience is not real, that and projection in my mind is not real, that any idea, believe, has been told to me and thus I copied accordingly my likeness and my self definition towards such idea, believe, projection.

I forgive to myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to define being here as being present in the mind, as being in and as my mind, as living the mind, as accepting the mind, as a system, as a program of myself I allowed to live, instead of seeing and realizing for myself, that being here is simplicity of breath, in breath and out breath as moment which exist, equal and one with, equal and one with body as flesh as physical which exists and which I can touch.

I forgive to myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to do not see the simplicity of living here, with and as breath of life which I am, but allowing and accepting to live as reflection of my past, thus I forgive to myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to create myself on fear, my living on fear, the experiences of myself on fear in separation from myself, and not allowing and accepting myself to break all fears I allowed to live and define myself into.

Thanks, Juraj

Who dare?

                Who is really interested in self? How oneself created his/hers own reality and why things function the way as they function? Who really care about ones inner reality? Who really care what the real solution is for oneself and for the world around? Who really dare to step beyond own mind and discover what is beyond? Who dare to step to the unknown and see, who dare to give up the definitions of one’s world?

                In last periods, I noticed interesting thing, how self-righteousness takes place in people, self-validation, the opinions and judgments, and even they are not aware they are doing it. They are innocent in this.

Lot of times I speak with people, in the moment about things which are relevant, I see, people are not aware what they are doing and why they are doing. They just do, they just speak, but why and what? That’s hidden. They do not know.

                In the very moments, when I am refusing to feed the personality disorders, when I am refusing to feed the systems within others, because I see for myself, that it will lead to nowhere and will not help to any in anyway whatsoever, lot of times I am rejected, blamed, my words changed and manipulated, the meaning I said turned and misplaced, or anything used against me to prove that I am wrong. I used to take this personally, as I never faced to something like this before. But even in this, people are innocent. Because even in this, they do not know why they do what they do. It is the mind.

                As I see, mind will always try to defend itself, to prove that it is real. Mind will always find ways to try to validate its own existence, mind will use anything possible to prove that it is right. The very common for anybody is just one word – Ego.

                To break down the ego, really require self-dedication, self-commitment, and self-discipline, otherwise it is not possible to step down from the pedestal of self created delusions.

                So, who dare to step beyond self-created fear? Who dare to look inside and see what we really became and how we exist? Who dare to face the truth of ourselves, who dare to look and see?

                If you dare, join desteni.

Thanks, Juraj

What I see

             I see a lot of work which is in front of me, this is placed in time line and previously, I wanted to skip some steps, not possible. Each one must to go one by one, precisely.  I see only one way and other ways are not possible. I cannot skip what needs to be done as first, as if I would so step ahead will be not stable - Stability, consistency.
 

I see my past, what I’ve done, it is what it is. It is done. It is no more here, just memories and those memories are not real, even if I speak, each one understand differently, each one see it from his/hers own perspective. Because they miss the fact, that everything they experience, they create and it has nothing to do what is outside of them.

Except of those which are walking their process, they understand and they see, they look into themselves and they see how they created and what they created.

So I am alone. I am not lonely. I am alone as I am here, but this is not feeling of loneliness. I am fine with me, I am okey with me, I like me and I love me.

I do not experience desire to be loved, as I love myself,  therefore the illusion of necessity to be loved by someone else outside of me is gone. It is like, what I have been searching outside of me, I found in me, I found myself. I am with me, within me. I value myself and I see my worth within me, I am not more or less.

I do not search anymore.

I do not close my eyes in front of my world, I do not close my eyes in front of world I see.

What I see is what needs to be fixed. I see the world full of liars, hiders, abusers, killers, rapists, stealers, I could continue. I am not saying this as judgment of what I see, as it is not bad or good, it is what it is. I am responsible for this creation.

And because of what is the world as it is? Because of illusion of self experience in regards of energy which moves within each human body.  Because what humans experience, they believe they experience themselves, but it is not. It is just self definition to specific energy movement, energy creation through act of thinking and participating on.

Isn’t it strange, to live self definition? I used to do it also. For example:

To see something or someone, compare and from that comparison create judgment of myself bad/good. From that judgment, create justifications and excuses why I act the way I act, or why I think what I think. From that acting create self delusion and self guilt, anger, sorrow, love, misinterpretation. Because of that, and not able to handle it, so I suppressed and let it be suppressed and pretend I am ok and smile with others on the same bullshits in never ending circles of self deception.

Because of what? Because of believed experience of myself towards energy movement within me, without any understanding that it is me who creates this energy. And so I created some energy movement, that movement defined as love/sadness/loneliness/anger/fear etc, and from that definition I created my self experience towards it and believed that I experience myself because of some outside stimuli, but without complete forgotten fact, that it is me who created all of this, and nothing of this was real.

Can be something more ridiculous as this? How come that we are completely deluding ourselves, in believes and ideas, it is vast.

Try it for yourself – stop energy within you, and you will see.

Thanks, Juraj