Friday, May 13, 2011

Failure as foundation for back chat

                Lot of times I has been solving within me in my back chat, when I did something which I judged as wrong or as mistake, that I could do it different way or that I could do something else.

                This was basically in many areas, in communication with people, in handling with money or in relationships which I participated in.

                And thus when something went “ wrong “, different way as I wanted and desired, I solved within me, looking back and arguing what I did and why I did, what other side said, etc.

                But that was because of energetic connection, because I didn’t understood what I am doing at all. I was not able to see through my actions, that I let myself to be deceived and manipulated. I allowed that as the way of living, I accepted it as my life, just puppet, I accepted me that way, living in believes and desires, constantly not satisfied with anything, because my inner world has been destroyed several times.

                The imagined stuff lot of times has been broken, thus I took it as my failure in eyes of others, I judged me, I was not able to let go, and in my back chat placing myself inferior, because of failure, and I stored this “ failure “ moments within me and I acted the way to prevent such failure again.

                But, I was creating such failures again and again, because I was not able to see me.

Thanks, Juraj

1 comment:

  1. Remember, Radical self-forgviness applied unrelentingly.