Sunday, May 8, 2011

Fear as foundation for back chat

                 As a child, lot of times I did something else as my parents wanted from me to do, or I didn’t hold the promise I said.

                For example, I went out and promised, that I will come at 7 at the evening, instead of holding this promise, I played out till down and let the time pass, it was 8 or 9 and I knew I have to come home. I was aware of the consequences of my broken promise, I created fear within me, what will happen to me, what my parents will tell to me, how they will behave and possibly they will punish me.

                So I started to search for valid excuses, even I changed the time on my watch to have an excuse that I was not aware which time is it, because I feared to face the consequences and wanted to go out from the situation with excuse and without punishment, which I expected.

                Lot of times I promised to do my duties, lot of times I broke this, countless promising and breaking the promises, and from that back chatting with possible outcome, searching for excuses and justifications, because not wanting to face myself.

                And it is so simple, everything what was required, was just to hold what I said, just do what I said, and stand for my own words. But no, I rather choose the way of breaking the words, hiding, running away, and because of what? Was this all worth something?

                Everything I created, and the fear from that, was just illusions of my mind, worth nothing.

    But I see the simplicity in this, how simple can life be, if one is able to stand for the words spoken,  there is equality in this, what is spoken is hold, what is spoken is valid, and what is spoken is true, in self honesty living the words, equal and one.

Thanks, Juraj

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