From illusion into reality

  The thoughts I believed was real, the thoughts I thought are me, those which I was aware of, I let go and those thoughts no more bother me. Just that simple it is.

                The voice which used to speak within me and I believed is me, I let go and the voice no more bother me in my head. Just that simple it is.

                The emotions I thought was real I stopped and this emotions no more bother me. How simple it is.

I used to look more within polarity of the mind on those one which I do not like or those which I do not like to experience. Those I let go and thus I forgave myself, but I forgot interesting point. To let go those one which I like, those one I would like to experience, some of them I let go, but some of them I wanted to keep for myself.

But that’s the same delusion as those judged/perceived as negative, the positive/good is just the second part of polarity.

I realized, how much points are in front of me from positive spectrum which I am going to work on, because, to stand real, mean stand without any illusion of the mind.

One side of polarity, or the other, both are the same illusions.

Thanks, Juraj

Who dare?

                Who is really interested in self? How oneself created his/hers own reality and why things function the way as they function? Who really care about ones inner reality? Who really care what the real solution is for oneself and for the world around? Who really dare to step beyond own mind and discover what is beyond? Who dare to step to the unknown and see, who dare to give up the definitions of one’s world?

                In last periods, I noticed interesting thing, how self-righteousness takes place in people, self-validation, the opinions and judgments, and even they are not aware they are doing it. They are innocent in this.

Lot of times I speak with people, in the moment about things which are relevant, I see, people are not aware what they are doing and why they are doing. They just do, they just speak, but why and what? That’s hidden. They do not know.

                In the very moments, when I am refusing to feed the personality disorders, when I am refusing to feed the systems within others, because I see for myself, that it will lead to nowhere and will not help to any in anyway whatsoever, lot of times I am rejected, blamed, my words changed and manipulated, the meaning I said turned and misplaced, or anything used against me to prove that I am wrong. I used to take this personally, as I never faced to something like this before. But even in this, people are innocent. Because even in this, they do not know why they do what they do. It is the mind.

                As I see, mind will always try to defend itself, to prove that it is real. Mind will always find ways to try to validate its own existence, mind will use anything possible to prove that it is right. The very common for anybody is just one word – Ego.

                To break down the ego, really require self-dedication, self-commitment, and self-discipline, otherwise it is not possible to step down from the pedestal of self created delusions.

                So, who dare to step beyond self-created fear? Who dare to look inside and see what we really became and how we exist? Who dare to face the truth of ourselves, who dare to look and see?

                If you dare, join desteni.

Thanks, Juraj

Clean what is within.

   I sat on my bed, with closed eyes, no pictures within me just some thoughts, coming one by one, slowly, I start to speak self forgiveness, the same slow way, hearing my voice, calm voice of me.

                Breathing, deeply and slowly, and in the dark only my voice I hear, forgiving to me what I have done unto me, what I allowed and accepted and within this I experience cleansing of myself, just me.

                And as we used to clean our body daily and take shower, to clean our teeth, to clean our hands, or even to clean our house, or place we live in, how often we clean what is inside of us? How often we clean what we have accepted, how often we care about ourselves in meaning, what became part of us, how often we clean our mind?

                Do we clean what is inside of us, or just accumulating bullshits of polarity?

                Maybe it is time to start clean what is within with more attention than what is without. Yes, what is visible we clean, we take care, what is within, we can hide, in self delusion, take no one know just we. And even this is not so.

Thanks, Juraj

Life has been forgotten

Recently, I was on a party after long period of time, the place where I used to like dance. Electronic music, people, common place created for people to have fun.

The bar and people waiting in queue for their uplifting drugs I bypassed and went directly near stage and started dancing. The music produced by Dj didn’t fit to my likeness very well but anyway I started to enjoy the dancing and movements of my body, I noticed I have problem to focus on breathing and dancing at the same time, some thoughts went through my mind.

Especially some thoughts connected to this place as memories, place looked the same but was not the same. My dancing movements was little bit hard, like heavy, maybe because I didn’t danced long time, but I would rather say because this movements was of memory, not of expression of me. The movements learned into physical, things I repeated lot of times, mainly about my legs, the movements of my hands I experienced as flow, free from bounds of thoughts.

Some thoughts flashing through my mind, as part of brainwashing of media, of perception, as likeness or dislikes of others, the memories of stuff read or heard on different places by different people, where obviously polarity of the mind takes place. What types of movements are “cool” and which not, what others could possibly perceive as great or not, some type of thoughts I was surprised that could be part of my mind. I let this go and cleared my mind, focused on movements and breathing.

I didn’t care what others could thing about me how I dance, I like to dance as part of the music, as flow of the tone.

Some band started to play, metal music or something like that, I went out, spoke with the people, and waited when the band will finish and could start to dance again. They play to long, from my perspective, so I went again in, stood just near the speakers in front of stage, and I looked on performance of singer, guitarists, and also folks raving on that music. Focused on my breathing, just that, I see, no expression. Just energy of the mind takes place mixed with drugs and people apparently enjoy this euphoria raving and jumping and bumping into each other in frenetic sound of bass guitars.

I see no expression, I hear no sound, the tones penetrating my body and pulsing but I just breathe, and there is no sound and there is no life. The performance of guitarists are far beyond performance of singer, she didn’t express at all, her singing is not possible to understand and she just kneel on speaker all time singing, and in this scenario I see, instruments raped as physical is raped to produce the energy for people to have their portion of fun.

To which extent we created our reality that rape is took as normal apparently judged and perceived as fun and good performance, where in fact, the expression of life has been forgotten.

Thanks, Juraj