Day 142 : Positive and negative – Same shit

                The positive blind me to see what is part of myself as negative, the negative shows me what I became and why.

                The positive directs me away from me, the negative destroy and dishonor me.

                The positive, delude me and trap into illusions, negative shows how I judge myself and why.

No matter which polarity is within and as me, which polarity is still part of “my life”, it is the same bullshit and same energy and same addiction of energy.

                It is cool to see and realize, that positive and negative, is simply not real.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to judge myself as positive and negative in separation from myself.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to live in polarities of the mind as positive and negative, instead of be here present within and as the moment and see and realize that nothing of polarities is real, just delusions of the mind as desires, projections, ideas, believes, definitions, judgments, separation myself from myself because of accepted living as the mind.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself do not stop each moment here.

                I forgive to myself that I have not accepted and allowed to myself to see and realize that I am able to stop everything and anything which is of the mind.

                I forgive to myself that I have not accepted and allowed to myself to myself to see and realize that I am able to be directive principle of my life in self honesty with myself.

Thanks, Juraj

Day 129 : Nature and positive perception

                The movement in nature, around trees, the ways in forest, the walking, smell of the forest, with the humidity of the air, this all I had tendency to perceive as positive and thus like to be in forest, walk there, move and spend time, or to try to find some mushrooms, and from this finding create within me positive perception, likeness, and also the desire to find another one or bigger one.

                Positivity while being in forest I perceived like calmness, enjoyment and relax, but still, it is just perception.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to separate myself from nature through perception of positivity and likeness towards the trees, grass, mushrooms, leaves while being in forest and moving in forest.

 I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to perceive being in forest as positive and create within and as me positive energy charge while being in forest and thus separate myself from nature through positive perception of forest.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that the enjoyment, relax and calmness I experience while being in forest is real expression of myself, instead of see and realize that this is positive energy charge I created within and as me towards forest and nature I moved in, and thus separated myself from myself.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to believe that nature is positive.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to perceive myself being calm while being around forest and nature, instead of being here with and as breath in equality and oneness of myself with nature.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to separate myself from trees, grass, leaves through information and knowledge of the mind that trees are just flowers as that which grow from earth and thus think and believe that trees are not aware of its own existence and presence while I defined being aware through act of thinking, perceiving the environment through pictures, as definitions of my environment through pictures, and just creating within me positive or negative perceptions of environment I am moving in separation of myself from myself, instead of stand here with and as breath as me.

Thanks, Juraj

Day 96 : I like you thus you are more

                Interesting thing is, that those people I like, or to those ones I created likeness towards, as positive seeing of this people, thus I take it like to be more, like to have more value in my life, and as opposite those I have no connections towards, thus no value for me, no meaning, nothing.

                And this is bullshit, all people have equal value, each and one being has the same value as life.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to split people according likeness and dislikes, and thus put value accordingly of my likeness or dislike, and within this participate on positive and negative energy creation towards those people and thus trap myself into energy experiences of likeness or dislike, where I accepted and allowed to myself to search and seek those ones I like and disregard those which I do not like.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that positive energy or positive seeing or positive attitude towards those people I like is expression of myself, instead of see and realize that by this I am already acting according energy experiences within and as me and thus directed by the mind.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to exist within and as mind polarity of positive/negative and neutral by this split people into categories and thus categorize people instead of see each individual as equal to me, and myself equal to them and thus direct myself within the world where everything and everyone is threat equally.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to create the positive energy within me as hiding of that what I perceived as negative and thus expect from others to help me to generate the positive energy for myself to be able to cover much better that what is suppressed within me as negative and thus I would not have to face that.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to believe that what I perceive as negative or I created negative experience towards, is my real decision, my real direction and my real seeing, instead of see and realize that within this I am already by submission of the mind and thus directed by energy experience within me.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that I have to stand back from that what I do not like, or I do not want to confront myself with or face, instead of stand up and face myself no matter what.

Thanks, Juraj

Day 63 : Fear of sex – Fear of being abused

                Interestingly, as I see, the sex based on energy is just abuse of me and abuse of other just for the sake of fulfilling energy requirements, where physical is not seen, not recognized, just this mind projections, ideas, desires are in place of me and of other, where the bodies are not expressing themselves but are used as a tool to build up energy and then released.

                Overtime, I developed the fear as a fear of being abused just for the sake of getting this energy by another and then thrown away. As I do not want to be used just as a tool or puppet, for anyone, as it is bullshit.

I forgive to myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to fear sex and experience sex as a fear of being abused or used just as a tool for fulfilling ones energy needs.

                I forgive to myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to limit myself with and as a fear of being abused in sex, for sex, instead of seeing and realizing that this fear is not real, as this fear is energy experience I am holding myself into and within this I forgive to myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to think and believe that fear of sex and having sex where I would be used as a tool or puppet for fulfilling ones need will protect me from being abused instead of living me here, expressing myself here with and as breath.

                I forgive to myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to think and believe that fear is necessary as protection of myself of being abused for sex and thus hold myself back and hide.

                I forgive to myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to not see and realize that through very accepting and living in fear of being abused I am creating within me the opposite polarity of this as sexual energy and sexual excitement where I will need to release this energy from my body and thus I will abuse myself and my body for this release with and as the mind not seeing and realizing that by fearing of being abused I am creating exactly this abuse of myself and thus abusing my body.

                I forgive to myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to live, create and accept the fear of being abused and through this create the abuse of myself as opposite polarity of fear I allowed and accepted to myself to live.

                I forgive to myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to fear that I would abuse another just for fulfilling my energy needs and requirements as a ideas and believes about sex and what sex should be, instead of expressing myself here, without any projection, idea and believe, without any fear just me here living and expressing myself.

I forgive to myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to fear that within my expression I would be dishonest with myself and want to touch, kiss, embrace other just for creating within me the positive energy as sexual energy not seeing and realizing that exactly through this fear I am creating it.

I forgive to myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to connect to my body, my actions, and my expression the fear of being abused and fear of abuse of another, not seeing and realizing that within and as accepting this fears I am creating exactly same abuse of another and myself I feared.

I forgive to myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to think and believe that fear is necessary component to move myself accordingly within this world, that fear is necessary for myself to do not abuse another instead of seeing and realizing that fear is illusion of the mind how to keep myself enslaved, instead of seeing and realizing that self honesty is what is required to move, to act, and express myself here and not fear.

Thanks, Juraj 

The words are innocent

                Today I was on conference call with my French co-worker and several folks from customer side.  Call was from certain perspective hard and long as lot of issues we talked about, and at the end they switched to French language for a while to have better communication as it is their native language.

                I do not understand in French a word, so I was just silently listening, as I was hearing the words I realized interesting point.

                As I had no clue what they speaks, It was for me just words, those words couldn’t cause within me any reaction, judgment, thought, or likeness or dislikes, nor perception of positive or negative words, also I couldn’t make any idea or believe about their speech.

                As I have nothing programmed within me in relation to sounds/words spoken in French I realized how perfect the programming of humans is just through words/sounds.

                The judgments or perceptions of the words, not seeing what the word is by itself, what the word really means, but what one thought what this or that word is according own programming and own judgment of the words.

                I faced many times, when people said to me, that this or that word is negative, or wrong, or ugly.  And many times I explained that simply such a word do not exists. There is no ugly word in this existence, and there is no wrong or negative, it is just word, and the word has some meaning and the word stand for something. That’s all.

                And you know what? You like to fuck, so why you judge the word FUCK as ugly? And you like to shit, cause when you have to thus you have to, and why the fuck you judge the word shit as wrong? Is wrong when you shit? And it is ugly when you fuck? It is bad when you fuck? Wake up.

And the word fuck have many meanings and stand for various different explanations within context spoken, so this word is just a word, like apple, like orange, like stand or sit.

                This is the same with positive or negative perception of the words.

                So maybe you will realize that if you judge some word, it is you who is wrong, not the word. The words are innocent.

Thanks, Juraj