Day 168: Money Demon

                I am demon of money. I am money demon. I do not care about me in fact, I do not care about anybody and anything. I see no reason and I see no need. I see no future and past is gone. I am present here as demon of me, I am here always as I always was. I care about money which I do not care about. I am paradox of me, I need money but I do not care them. I fuck you because of money and you fuck with me, it is all about money as always was.

                There is no god and there is no devil, there is no higher force as I am the force and I am the doom of me as I do not care. I doomed me ages ago as what I have done to all because of money. I did everything possible to hide my actions, I hide even in front of me. Yes it is possible, to hide me in front of me. It is possible very precious way, simply to split, to split one part of me, and hide to the deepest darkness possible, where light can’t go and where light do not shine.

                And if light goes nearby this darkness I suck this light and even light can’t escape. This is the darkest darkness possible, where I am hidden in front of everything and everyone, I am here. I am within me all the time as demon of darkness, waiting and smiling from the shadows, laughing on blindness of everyone, I laugh on stupidity of mankind and I laugh on stupidity of me, because everything which exists in this world, is only one single point, as all is based on this point, and this point is money.

                Freedom never existed, love never existed, compassion and friendship, as everything of this world is ruled and based only on money. Without money, each one die, without money, each love ends, without money, each friendship ends, without money, life ends.

                The doom of mankind and the doom of everyone is money, mankind is fallen and will be, until money will no longer be the god of man.

                And there is only one god each one follow, and that god is money, you can hide, you can lie, you can manipulate, you can think anything you want about you or this world, only money determine everything of you or me who we are.

                Take away money of your family, your friendships, your relationships, everything will end. Each movement is determined by money, each word you speak is backup-uped of amount of money you have. There is rabbit hole of me and you, and this goes to each point which exists within me or you.

                Who you will be, once you get loads of money? Who I will be? Let’s have a look on those who rule this world, let’s have a look closer, let’s have a look into their eyes, what you will see? Darkness of me and you, who we really are.

                And that’s me, darkness of me of money I do not care about anyone and anything, as within this darkness is demon of money which is me, which is power and control.

                Now I have none, and I am even not sure if I will survive next days. Why? Because, in my entire existence, I really never cared. Even not about me.

                My ignorance became so intricate, that I even do not cared about me. That’s the split I have done unto me, I split me and I do not wanted to see my evil money me.

                I united me in many points, I never did with my evil money twin. I do not know how I can, how I can accept me as all what I have done within this existence because of money. So much lies, so much manipulation, so many murders, so much pain and blood I suffered, and thus I have only one question which remained.

Was this enough?

Thanks, Juraj

Day : 15 Self interest – I never considered anybody

                Really. Never.  I never considered anybody and anything, and if yes, thus animals or when I was young, but if I should speak about people, it was always the same. My self interest. Simple.

                Truth is always simple, when the shadows of bullshits are removed, simplicity of truth about me remain.

                To care about someone, to support someone, to help and assist when I see it is possible, I do. I am learning to support others, I am learning what it really means, because within this, I always support myself.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to live according my self interest and do not consider others within my world.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to think and believe that I care about others not realizing and not seeing that it was just only my self deception as in fact I didn’t gave a shit about others.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to live in illusion that I care where in fact I lived my self interest just for the sake of getting energy for my living.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to think and believe that with lies and deception I can cover who I really am.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to to fuck others.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to see others as blind assholes as brainless and pointless zombies fucking around in this world with no sense for anything and with no understanding to anything and thus became bored by explaining over and over and over that what I see in this world thus I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to create within me the boredom to speak with others and be pissed off with explaining everybody over and over things I see and I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to see others as uneducated semi retarded fuckers instead of realizing that I am equal to them and thus I am not more and not less than them.

Thanks, Juraj

               

Deception of love – I killed flower for you

                Some years ago, when I wanted show love towards a girl, I bought a flower and said to a girl, that – “I am giving you this from my heart, it is the mark of my love”

                In my country this is very common to buy flowers to women as a sign that male care, notice, or love a woman.

                But what is behind such common act as a buy a flower, and give to a woman?  Many starting points could be written but mostly hidden manipulation, deception and abuse.

                But, in this act, man is actually saying: I killed a flower and I am giving to you a flower which is dying in my hands as a sign that I do not care life, as a sign that my ego is so big that I really do not care for life, and I will kill as many flowers as possible to manipulate you to like me, to adore me, and love as I love you, and we will remain in this deception of love, which we call it, but actually it is just our energy play out and have nothing to do with real love, because we do not care for life.

                Is love to kill life, innocent life just to bring a picture in front of eyes a persona we would like to manipulate and mainly because we would like to fuck this persona ?

                Isn’t this a great perversion towards a life?

Thanks, Juraj