Day 109 : Projections

                To project anything to the future, is the outcome and reflection of the past, thus this projection is just one possibility taken as derivative of the past, of lived memory and thus accepting and following seeing only that what one lived, accepted for oneself in the past, thus other possibilities of the future are not seen, as it is impossible because future per say do not exists.

                But what will happen as projection is irrelevant, as any possibility simply can happen. Just question is, who is self if faced unexpected situations, who is the direction of possibilities and why.

                Each moment, in fact we are facing extensive amount of possibilities of next moments, and by choosing this we are creating the future.

                Who chose, and why? It is the mind? Or it is self? Or, it is even necessary to chose anything? Isn’t just one principle enough? Principle of equality and oneness.

                And if one stand for this principle does one still choose anything? Or just live this principle?

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to believe that projections to the future are I am able to see in the mind are just everything I can see, not seeing and realizing that this projections are projections of the mind of possible future outcomes and not real seeing, as self see here, not in the mind as pictures.

                I forgive to myself that I have not accepted and allowed to myself to see and realize that I am able to see what is here as me as myself.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to look in the mind as picture projections of the future, not seeing and realizing that this picture presentations as projections are of the mind, as possible outcome as derivatives of my past, and nothing of that is real as it is in the mind and not here.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to have tendency to look into a future in the mind as picture presentations of the future, instead of see here, see myself here, and see myself as equal to others and others equal to me.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to look into a mind and through the mind to the future as picture presentations of the future, not seeing and realizing that all of this is based on mind components as fears, worries, desires, needs, wants, likeness or dislikes, and thus this have nothing to do with actual physical reality, as all of this is mind reality but not real physical world.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to look to the future through the mind not seeing and realizing that by this I am not seeing myself and thus I miss myself.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to trust these mind projections in my mind.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to put importance to these projections of the mind.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that these mind projections are probably valid.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to do not see and realize that anything of the pictures are simply of the mind.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to do not realize that mind have very limited ways how can operate and basic platform for the mind are pictures.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to interpret the pictures I see through the mind, instead of see what is here as physical.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to do not see and realize that mind can show me only its own limitation base on pictures stored in the mind already, and that mind is bound to this pictures, therefore I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to bound myself to the picture existence, not seeing and realizing that I defined myself to picture existence and thus defined myself according pictures I see and not see what is really here.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that this pictures I am able constantly see through my eyes are real, and by this limit myself just only to this pictures, and think and believe that what exists are this pictures.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to limit my seeing to see only pictures.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to be controlled through seeing only pictures.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to be influenced be seeing the pictures.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to react to pictures I see in front of me.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to separate from pictures I see in front of me.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to store these pictures within me and define myself to this stored pictures and create within me energetic connections to these pictures.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that I have to react to these pictures with energetic reactions within me, and that if I react within me thus I live, instead of see and realize that simply pictures are of the mind, thus reactions to this pictures are of the mind, and that nor pictures nor reactions are real, just mind games of polarity and harvesting the energy.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that I have to see pictures.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that I need to see pictures.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to become controlled by the mind by seeing and looking on pictures.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to get control over me to my mind through accepting and allowing to see only pictures.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that picture world is real.

Thanks, Juraj

Day 36 : The future will never come

                I realized, that anything what I place within my mind to the future, thus it will never come, as it is already placed through separation to the future and what is here is thus not seen and not understood.

                No shortcut exist, no overlap, no jumping, as it is simply no possible as one moment end just only new one can come, one by one and anything what is place in mind in future thus is not real as it is idea, believe, desire, fear, or whatever else but it is not here.

                It is interesting, as I realized that this looking to the future, or placing “things” to the future, is like automatic way of living, where also expectations plays significant role.

                But can life expect anything? Can matter expect something to the future what will happen?

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to expect things that will happen by itself without my actions or participation, instead of making things happen.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to place fears, desires, expectations, ideas, believes to the future and thus create within me future projections about reality and how reality should works and what should happen instead of focusing on my breath, on my body, reality where I am with my body and thus solve that what is here and not that what is created within and as my mind as future projections thus I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to solve within my mind future projections instead of solving that what is here.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to do not participate on that what I do not understand and create within me the fear and resistance towards that what I do not know, instead of pushing myself and find out.

Thanks, Juraj

Day 6 : Eyes – I am separated

                 The world I see through my physical eyes, gives me perception of world and myself that I am separated from everything and everyone and this seems to be very valid, very trustworthy, and definitely very acceptable point of view of myself and the world without.

                Someone in my world, had to tell me what I should see, how I should interpret that what I see, and which names I should put on things I see accordingly, to fit into society and into a system and do not step out from accepted facts by majority about the world and system by itself.

                You are unique, you are individual, you are the only one very special, no one is like you, those words I heard many times and the eyes gives me the perception and validate those to such extent, that I became those words and I became living entity as separated from everything and everyone.

                To make the fuckup really perfect and hit the nail, I separated from my body through the words I heard within my head in absolute trust that those words are me and that I am those words and thus I started to live in my head and reactions, back chats within my mind, and mind delivers me on golden plate those words, very likely to make sure that I will remain in accepted prison of myself – in the head as words popping in the mind.

                I realized, that eyes deceive me, the pictures I see and how I learned to interpret them and what value I gave into a pictures and what meaning I connected to them, have perfect ability to deceive me in absolutely professional manner, just through my acceptance.

                Are the things the way I perceive? Are those pictures everything I can see? Am I separated just only because I see things that way and accept that way? Am I living in a reality or In my mind? Is the reality picture based?

                No, I just learned to interpret reality as pictures. And extensively judge.

                But let’s have a look on words, what words one speak carry, what is the meaning and what Is the point one is speaking about. What is behind those words and why one speaks those words?

 Is interesting to see through the words and through the picture one present, as to look at the words gives one ability to be no more deceived.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to trust to my physical eyes to such extent, that from this trust I created within me believe that I am separated from everything and everyone I can see.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to trust to my physical eyes as perception that what I can see is separated from me and through this validate myself as ego and as separated entity from what is here.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to put different value to different pictures and different colors I can see through my eyes and from this value derive likeness or not likeness of that what I see.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to think and believe that because I see reality as pictures separated from me, that thanks to this acceptance I can manipulate and abuse reality according my will and desires and needs.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to desire and want that what is here to function according my needs/wants/and projections instead of realizing that through this I am living as the mind in separation from myself.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to separate from myself and from what is here through my physical eyes in believing that because I see reality as pictures thus I have to be separated.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to separate from my body through the voice I hear in my head and gave value and attention to this words and think and believe I am those words.

I commit myself to investigate the values I placed into each and single one picture I can see and investigate the energy creation through this pictures and my living as energy.

Thanks, Juraj

Knowledge & Information

          I like to be informed, I like to have knowledge, to know and to be informed what is going on. To know how things work and how things operate, this gives me advantage. Advantage from perspective I am not blind, I do not need to doubt, I do not need to speculate about things, I see.

          I am the one eye king in the ocean of blindness. This means I see as the eye search within me, the mind of me do not like things I know.

          I used to take immense amount of knowledge and information in the past and blindly believed in it, the mantra of conspiracies and the lies hidden within it. I used to speculate and I used to imagine, based on stuff I heard and things I read. Nothing is the way I used to think before.

          In-form and the know-ledge, the limitation of the mind shown in those words be itself, the ledge of things I know, in which form I absorb and which form and value I shape this within me, what I connect and what I attach to those words, written, spoken, shared, as knowledge and information.

          Do I see? I see the mountain of useless information within me, most of them was lies. How I can be sure those things are valid and true, If I have no chance to prove that what was written by someone is true?

Who wrote that stuff, and why that stuff has been written? In news, magazines, on web, books and novels, in school books, zillions of words and sentences everywhere produced, with the mind infinity could last to read through it. Garbage. No need to read it and no need to worry. Everything everywhere the same shit, the same lies, the same deception and the same garbage.

It took me years to realize this, and it is simple, let’s have a look what is written? Who write about equality, who live that equality? How to live equality?

I see that if I look as the mind I am blind, I see that If I search as the mind I found no answers, I see that If I live as the mind I deny the obvious, with the knowledge and information I am able to deceive myself and do not want the reality to be the way as it is, because within my mind I want reality to be according my perception and my will, according that what I know.

But let’s stop for a moment, what do I see? What Is here? The reality, the only one real reality, which is real is here. What’s not here is mind, mind even have no idea what means to be here, those zillions of information are just distractions of the mind, and mind is never here.

Thanks, Juraj