Allowance of thought

                I saw bus coming and I was not sure about its direction so I guessed and thought – That maybe possibly it will go to direction where I would like to go.

                I was wrong, bus turned different way and my way became more longer, so I had to take bus way back and then from my previous starting point to move to the point where I wanted to go.

                Mind will always mislead.

Thanks, Juraj

Likes – Don’t likes

                I created within me through self-definitions massive amount of my likes and my don’t likes, which comes from polarity, thus limitation of me because I defined myself.

                Is this self-expression in every moment in self-honesty?  Obviously, not.

                Each like or don’t like, is just the mind, defined, separated, and selfish.

                Thus I have to stop the likes and stops don’t likes completely, stop definitions of me.

Thanks, Juraj

Sound likes

                I used to create towards some specific sounds the energy experiences, feeling and emotions, which I believed are real.

                Some sound I judged as positive and some as negative, and from that I created the feeling and delusions of experiences, some I judged as bad and didn’t wanted to hear them again.

                Towards some sounds I even created the desires and some of them I feared. All sounds are the same, the frequency, just only because of mind judgment it sounds different.

Important is, what information the sound is carrying, what is the message ones speak, what is the voice singing about, what are the words ones speak.

With judgment, I was not able to hear.

Thanks, Juraj

Picture likes

I used to create the specific emotions in front of specific pictures, simply just shapes and colors in front of me, and because of that, so I created energy within me and different kind of experience, going through sadness, joy, love, excitement, etc.

I saw the picture, and I defined myself towards this picture and create the desire that I want it in front of me more or not likeness that I do not want to see it.

This is so “ stupid “, how come that my experience of me is determined by some pictures ? By these definitions, this can be broken down and nonexistent.

Just breathe and experience in front of picture/because of picture disappear and remain nothing. Was this experience of me real? Obviously, not.

Just only another delusion, created because of separation, inequality and polarity of the mind.

Everything, are just only shapes, colors, geometric links, basically, everything is the same, just only looks different because of mind definitions.

Thanks, Juraj

Judgment as foundation for back chat

                I judged lot of times people around me, mostly because of their behavior, how they speak and what they speak and why they speak. Now I do not judge, I see it.

               

                Common sense without judgment, and thus it is possible to see through the words of others.

                I judged myself a lot, within me in my mind, for my failures, for my decisions, for the steps I did and wanted to take it back. I even judged the thoughts within me, and I stopped.

                And this all, just came from my morality and polarity of the mind, where I defined what is good and what is bad, nothing like that exists.

                Only what is here exists, and it is never good or bad.

Thanks, Juraj

               

Failure as foundation for back chat

                Lot of times I has been solving within me in my back chat, when I did something which I judged as wrong or as mistake, that I could do it different way or that I could do something else.

                This was basically in many areas, in communication with people, in handling with money or in relationships which I participated in.

                And thus when something went “ wrong “, different way as I wanted and desired, I solved within me, looking back and arguing what I did and why I did, what other side said, etc.

                But that was because of energetic connection, because I didn’t understood what I am doing at all. I was not able to see through my actions, that I let myself to be deceived and manipulated. I allowed that as the way of living, I accepted it as my life, just puppet, I accepted me that way, living in believes and desires, constantly not satisfied with anything, because my inner world has been destroyed several times.

                The imagined stuff lot of times has been broken, thus I took it as my failure in eyes of others, I judged me, I was not able to let go, and in my back chat placing myself inferior, because of failure, and I stored this “ failure “ moments within me and I acted the way to prevent such failure again.

                But, I was creating such failures again and again, because I was not able to see me.

Thanks, Juraj

Feelings – Emotions

                I believed that any kind of emotions or feelings are real, not true. Just delusion.

                Any of them, can be stopped with the breath, so how can be any feeling real? Just one breath, and it is gone, nonexistent, how could be this real if it can be stopped with one breath?

                So much emotions or feelings I lived, deluding myself that what I experience is real, not possible to count.

                The breath is real, breath can’t be stopped.

Thanks, Juraj

Man-I-pull-ate

                 There was a times, when I loved to manipulate others, because of my own falls, desires, needs and wants. I tried everything possible, to get what I wanted.

                Because the mind, wants, needs, desire so much, that have no problem to do everything, to abuse all powers one have, to get what mind needs.

                Question is, what is the object of desire, what is that what mind needs and wants? Energy fulfillment - That which is separated and needs to be received to create the illusions of receiving and fulfilling.

                And the mind will use the MAN as I to PULL the energy and ATE.

Thanks, Juraj

Let go the light

                To let go everything which is not real, each point I defined myself, everything I lived as a past memory, means, remain here.

                Here as presence of me, unwavering, stable.

                Until I am not able to let go everything completely and absolutely, means I am living just as a shadow of memory, outcome of definitions of me, this definitions are just past experiences, and from them I created my way of living. Is this way of living life?

                No matter how much mind components I removed, no matter how effective I am, if within me will remain just only one thought, one connection, one believe and idea, till that time I am not finished, I am not done, till that time I am of the mind.

                To let go means to let die everything which is not real, just reflection of the light, and get a chance for life to be born.

Thanks, Juraj

Fear as foundation for back chat

                 As a child, lot of times I did something else as my parents wanted from me to do, or I didn’t hold the promise I said.

                For example, I went out and promised, that I will come at 7 at the evening, instead of holding this promise, I played out till down and let the time pass, it was 8 or 9 and I knew I have to come home. I was aware of the consequences of my broken promise, I created fear within me, what will happen to me, what my parents will tell to me, how they will behave and possibly they will punish me.

                So I started to search for valid excuses, even I changed the time on my watch to have an excuse that I was not aware which time is it, because I feared to face the consequences and wanted to go out from the situation with excuse and without punishment, which I expected.

                Lot of times I promised to do my duties, lot of times I broke this, countless promising and breaking the promises, and from that back chatting with possible outcome, searching for excuses and justifications, because not wanting to face myself.

                And it is so simple, everything what was required, was just to hold what I said, just do what I said, and stand for my own words. But no, I rather choose the way of breaking the words, hiding, running away, and because of what? Was this all worth something?

                Everything I created, and the fear from that, was just illusions of my mind, worth nothing.

    But I see the simplicity in this, how simple can life be, if one is able to stand for the words spoken,  there is equality in this, what is spoken is hold, what is spoken is valid, and what is spoken is true, in self honesty living the words, equal and one.

Thanks, Juraj

Information and knowledge

                There was a believe within me, that if I know a lot of things, that if I understand, that if I know how things works that I am wise, that I am intelligent, that I am someone.

                But what this says? Just only amount of books, articles, stories I was able to read and understand through my mind, through my own definitions and limitation, and from this create self-deluded idea that I am wise. Lol.

                Nothing like someone wise exists, nothing like intelligence exists, and nothing and nobody like smart person exists.

                Just look around, look closely and without judgment, look without the believes, look at the systems we live in and people in this system. What do you see?

Thanks, Juraj

Remain clear and stable

  The more I push myself the more easier is to push when another point emerge, the more I let go so it is easier to let go if anything else comes up.

                I was in the bed with a girl, interestingly, there was nothing within me, we were just lying on the bed, I enjoyed the touches, but there was not intension within me to have sex with her.

                I didn’t want to use her or abuse, or to have sex with her, it was hard to explain why I do not want to have sex with her. I am not sure if she understood, maybe yes, time will show.

                This was interesting; I remained clear in her presence, with no back chat, with no agendas within me, nothing. I just enjoyed her and her presence, the touches we touched each other, but within this remained clear and stable.

Thanks, Juraj

Nothing

                Today, It is like, to have nothing within me at this moment, nothing which could move me, nothing which could frustrate or scare.

                Simply nothing, no needs and no desires, no fears or expectations, interestingly nothing.

                I enjoy the breathing, walking, moving, touching,  the experiences related to physicality, even touches on keyboard come to me more interesting.

               

Thanks, Juraj

Consequences of inaction – Harm

                I provided information based on my guess and not based on prove, receiver of this information waited in cold outside windy weather longer than I guessed it should take, enough time to be pissed off by waiting in such conditions.

                I hesitated to provide corrected information about waiting time, I prolonged it by 5-7 minutes. Enough to be very pissed off with waiting, especially when I was in taxi and person waiting for me in outside weather with not proper wearing, when I came finally person showed me that strong enough for me to realize the consequences of my inaction in right time.

                I didn’t want to harm or cause pain, but I did because I hesitated to act.

                I should act when I should act, immediately, no hesitation, I should prove and not guess, my verbiage should be clear without any allowance for misinterpretation.

Thanks, Juraj

Just Breathe

             
              Most important is the breathing, just breathe, stop, and let go. Stop the energy, stop it and let go, release through self forgiveness and just walk through it.

Stop the thoughts and in silence just breathe, nothing, just calm breathing.  Me, breathing, nothing else.

                Just breathe.

Thanks, Juraj

Money as foundation for backchat

                There was believe within me, which comes from family environment, that once I will earn my own money, I can do with them anything I would like.

                I heard lot of times, that I can’t buy that or this, because it is not my money, and once I started to earn money, I just followed, spending it on that what I would like, mostly because of energy  addiction. Pure self-interest, pure delusions.

                Lot of times I heard my back chat saying against others, as money foundation why and how they are spending money, or why they do not want to pay for themselves if they should, or that now they should pay for me, solving within me and throwing judgments onto others. Or in backchat that I can do that or this because I can, as superior against all other living forms. Nice fuck up.

                I stopped this and I see how I was fucked.

                As I see from where money comes, and where money goes, my usage of money should not harm. I do not want to be harmed and not to cause harm to others, nor to abuse because I have money or can make money.

                Rather direct the money flow, where it would be beneficial for all.

Thanks, Juraj

Family as foundation for back chat

                I was inferior in front of my parents, and I took them as authority which has the right to speak what they speak and behave how they behaved. I trusted them.

                There was a moments I wanted to hide in front of them, run away, to fight, to say them what is inside me, to ask them the questions, to show them what they are doing, but I didn’t because of fear and possible consequences.

                I solved it within me in my backchat, there was a moments I was crying within me, suppressing what going on, but pretending I am fine, but thinking how I will behave and what I will do against them when I will grow up and they will have no power over me.

                My older siblings tried to take over me and grow up me on their image, I hated it and fought intensively against them, when I was not strong enough, similar backchats takes place within me, with projections and desires how I will show them when I will grow up that they have no power over me and that they can no longer to push on me to behave like they would like.

                I didn’t understood why they do what they do, because I didn’t, I took them as equal to me as my siblings, but over some time this equality within me has been destroyed, after extensive pushing and fighting, there was no more equality within me, and I started to look on them as abusers, so my abuse has been born.

                It is no more here, it is gone.

    I will no more allow to be abused, nor to abuse someone else.

Thanks, Juraj