Within this, the idea and
thought came up several times, in regards, that I do not see how things works,
or that I have no understanding of energy play outs in humans, in me, and thus
that I have to learn or that I have to find out.
Mind has very limited resources
how can someone manipulate, or direct, or take over, yet sometimes it seems to
me like to much, but it is not. It is simple but at the same time most genuine mechanics
as all, when just one thought is enough to take over a being and thus direct
being, myself, to scenarios, experiences, mind wants, require and need as me,
me as mind, to get the energy to sustain itself.
Yes, I am not aware everything
mind does at quantum level, as this mechanics I am not able to see now, but
anyway I am aware of thoughts, how basically mind utilize such thoughts and
thus my allowances for energy creations.
The simplicity of direction is, are
my actions directed by thoughts or by me, where I am not following the thought.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to think that I do not see how mind have ability to direct myself with thoughts, backchat and thus empower the mind to have power over me and direct me by the believe that I do not see what I am doing, how and why, as I see and realize how mind utilize the thoughts for energy creation and thus sustaining it's own existence.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to seek and search for joy and enjoyment as
energy experience, and when not able to experience this joy as energy thus turn
into a sorrow, pain and loneliness of me being rejected, disregarded and
diminished not seeing and realizing that by accepting and allowing the energy
experiences as joy / sorrow I am disregarding myself as life, I am diminishing
myself as physical and thus denying myself but accepting to live as mind.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to diminish, disregard, and reject to live
myself but rather turn into illusions, projections, ideas and believes of the
mind as energy experiences of joy and sorrow and thus move according this
experiences and express myself according this and not seeing myself as free
living being, not seeing myself as a individual who decide what I live and why,
what I experience , why , how and when, but rather be a subject of the mind as energy
experiences.
I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think
and believe that joy, enjoyment or likeness are real experiences of me, instead
of see and realize that all of this are energy experiences of the mind, where
mind always need to utilize thoughts, backchats to generate particular
sufficient energy to sustain own existence, power and ability to direct myself
by this energy, and thus create for myself the illusionary world as realm of
myself where I would believe that this is real experience of me, not seeing
through this illusion of the mind, not seeing through this energy and through
this thoughts, why they came and from where, but rather submit as a slave of
mind to live according to it.
I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to access
the memory of energy experiences of sorrow while confronting in reality with
moments which do not validate my projections, ideas and believes about future
and thus re create the sorrow as energy experiences accordingly as losing this
projections, ideas and believes about possible life to the future with another being.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to re create myself according the memory I lived
and thus fit myself into this memories and follow this memories in re creation
of myself the very same way as my reactions, believes, ideas, desires, actions,
speech, doing, acting, living, expressing, looking, touching, moving,
breathing, enjoying, stressing, fearing, to be anxious, and thus fit into a
dimensions of the mind and living of the mind as system, where I accepted and
allowed to myself to create myself as a system of memories where I access those
memories and thus live that what I lived in the past, not seeing and realizing
that past is no more here, as only what is here is the actual very moment which
exists, only one and no more, and thus I am here, as the moment, as life, as
breath, living here, expressing myself here as breath in where I give myself
life and breath out where I die and let go the moment which ended.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to try to comprehend through mind what it means
to be here and live here, express myself and speak myself here, instead of
actually be here as awareness of life, where I breathe myself in and breathe
myself out as only one moment which exists as me.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to utilize my memories as my characters, as my
functioning, as my living, as my expression.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to live according memories of joy and sorrow and
thus accept the polarity of the mind as myself and thus move back and forth
between energy experiences of mind.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to utilize my past as my decision maker and form
this decide here what I speak, what I present and how I behave, instead of be
with my breath, as my breath here.
I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think
and believe that what happened in my past have to happen again and thus I will
constantly and continuously experience and live same things, instead of stand
up, be here and thus direct myself here, live here, and be the one who decides
what is happening and why.
I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to utilize
my memories of my past to determine who I am, what I live, and how I live, what
I express and how, how I behave and how I express myself, instead of simply be
here each moment, be here with myself, to be able to see into me each moment I am
here and express and live myself, not as the reflection of my past but me as
living being, living breath, and living word.
Thanks,
Juraj
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