Sunday, October 14, 2012

Day 90 : Fucking sheep’s




                Today, as I was walking around the church, I saw people going out from church, and thought emerged as judgment towards those people – Fucking sheep’s just blinked through my mind.


                It was the church I was forced to go there as a young boy, and I see how much effort took for myself to stop judge myself to stop participate on religion events, to stop pray, to stop fear the idea of god, to stop follow the rules and dogmas of religious brainwashing, because when I was young I was forced to follow many years and repeat the praying and submit to the fears of religion, and control of religion.

                Within this thought, I realized, it is “sad” to see people going into church, it is sad to see people being controlled and manipulated by the fear,  as I see that no one of them would go into a church, it they would be able to see and comprehend, what it really is, what they are doing, why they are doing, and thus churches would remain empty and we would be able to destroy this building of enslavement, control and fear, or use it for some practical purposes.

                The point for myself, as this thought emerged, I judged those people as a representation of one’s under control of fear, thus I judged the fear, thus I judged control, enslavement and manipulation, because of the road I had to walk out of this religion shit and for what? I was enslaved by my parents to this, just only because the believed and thus I had to submit, and I could live without that. I could live without being brainwashed, controlled, and manipulated into living in and as fear, but it was impossible. Yes, I accepted that but within the same moments I couldn’t stood up to my parents as this was impossible. Thus anything what has been done or walked, here is not reason to judge.

                I see and realize why people follow religion, why and how they are under control of fear, thus I stop judge the fear by itself, I stop to judge manipulation and control, as it is useless, rather focus for myself how I can free myself, as within this judgment, it is me who is under control of my mind.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to judge control of the mind as something bad and thus exist within and as mind judgment of word control, in separation from word control and thus desire to break through the control of the mind, not seeing and realizing that by this I am following the program of control for myself.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to judge the fear as bad as something which is enslaving, manipulating and controlling, instead of see and realize what fear really is, as just energy created within and as human being, where they believe this fear is real, and I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to judge the energy as something bad, instead of stand equal and one with energy for myself, to see and realize where I allowed for myself to be under control of this energy and thus release myself from this enslavement.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to judge manipulation as something bad and thus exist within and as mind judgment of word manipulation, in separation from word manipulation where I put negative energetic charge to word manipulation.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to do not like to be under control of someone or something, instead of see and realize that from my childhood till now I was always under control of my own mind.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to do not like the manipulation, instead of see and realize that whole my live I was manipulated and thus also I manipulated others.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to do not want to stand equal and one with fear, control and manipulation because by this I would be able to see what I fear, where I manipulate myself and why I am under control of my own mind.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to act, live, behave according the fears, manipulation and control of my own mind I was learned, thought and thus live according of the alignment of my memories.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to be under control of my own memories, or my own past experiences and by this follow my own program of enslavement and control.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to fear my own enslavement, to fear to see each point of my enslavement directly here, my self control and my self manipulation directly, because of this I would see my own program and my own enslavement and thus I realize what I allowed to myself to live and why.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to judge myself because of accepted and allowed to myself to live under control, manipulation and enslavement of my mind.

Thanks, Juraj


No comments:

Post a Comment