Monday, October 1, 2012

Day 81 : Relationships – Love as energy



                 In my life, when I dated with a girl, and participated on thoughts in my mind, and thought that I miss here, and that I would like to be with her, and start to desire to be with a girl, I was not aware that I was fallen in and as mind design of love, where all my actions, words and behavior was submitted for this feeling, as energy requirement of love.

                I was not aware, that this all is my self deception towards other human being, I was not aware that I deluded myself, and through this delusion I abused myself and thus equally abused the girl I dated with.

                Within this, I stood as a EGO, as male definition of me, who I should be, what I should require, and how I should speak or what I should speak, to get this energy and thus sustain my enslavement in my mind, and thus provide to my mind that what mind wants always the most, energy.

                Love, is never about energy, real love, is never about feeling, real love is never about demand, requirement, desire, want, need of self interest.

                Real love, is equality.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think that I need to be loved by someone as female and thus require, search and need this love and perception that some one loves me, instead of see and realize that this is just my own perception, definition, illusion and deception of myself about the word love, and what this love as energy experience should be and how I should experience this love, instead of see and realize for myself that love as energy movement or feeling towards any being is simply of the mind, simply my own self delusion, where I separated myself from this being I experience the love, thus I stop, I see and realize that love as real love as expression of me is equality of me with me, as me as all within and as existence.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to try to comprehend and understand what is love through the mind, to try to understand love as definition as energy experience within me towards other being as female, and thus create within me the ideas and believes about love, and what I should experience and how I should experience this love, instead of see and realize that love as energy feeling and experience is always of the mind and always of the ideas, believes, perceptions, definitions, memories, information, knowledge where through this information I got of this world I tried to comprehend what love is, and thus shape, mold and define myself according this information, pictures I saw and read around me within my word.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to follow the design of love in my mind, as system where the only purpose is trap me into illusion, to allow my self deception through thoughts and energy experiences towards other being, where I separated myself from this being and thus think and believe that I need to be with this being again back to be back with me, instead of see and realize that I am always within me, that I am always here as my body, as flesh, and that only when I am in the mind I am not with me.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to utilize my pre programmed life experiences as memories of the mind to define myself accordingly, and thus shape my voice, my mannerism, my words, my expression accordingly and thus define myself and trap myself into and as mind design of memories and information and knowledge of this world, instead of stop, breathe and simply be here , in reality where my body is always, and see and realize that I accepted and allowed to myself to live according my own memories stored within my body, as pre programmed life experiences, thus I stop, I breath and I commit myself to remain here, with and as my body, where my body as physical is, and thus solve that what I here, that what is real, and express myself here, live myself here and release myself from all memories I got through my life.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to trap myself into and as memories of my past experiences as relationships between pictures I saw through my physical eyes and energy experiences connected and related to this pictures and thus define myself and my behavior according this pictures I stored within my body, instead of see and realize that in this, I accepted to myself to trap myself in the past as self definition towards pictures I separated myself from, thus I commit myself to release myself from each picture definition I saw, accepted to relate to it, accepted to define myself towards through separation myself from this pictures I saw.

Thanks, Juraj


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