Sunday, April 17, 2011

Imagination – The way how to escape failed.

                I used to imagine in my life plenty of things, I liked to imagine how it could be to win a lot of money and use it to change something in this world or build something, or use it for support of myself or others, I liked to imagine how it could be to explore the universe, the stars and the planets, to meet different life forms and know them. I liked to see myself as the best in the games, in the sports, I liked to see myself as the best one of the bests, king of the kings.

                I never wanted to save someone, as I never understood why someone should be saved from something, and I never liked the idea of savior which religion for example presents. I am not savior of anyone, and I am not savior of myself, I do not need to be saved, how can I be saved from myself?

                I can’t be saved from my creation, I can’t escape, and why I should escape? I do not need to run away from me, as I am here I have to face myself, I have to face me, why to fear me?

                That’s so ridiculous to fear me, to create an illusion of fear of who I am. More simple is just to face what I created and direct myself and that’s it. No rocket since in it, just common sense.

I liked to imagine myself with women, to explore everything what I could in sexuality, this was my investigation for some years, but by paradox, energy based, so I just find out how I deceived myself with that energy, but that’s cool, now I can see it within me.

When I was in troubles, I liked imagination of dark tunnel between the walls where I could move into different world which I created and I was there, I was in my world and I enjoyed my creation, there was nothing which could disturb me, I was alone there. Only me, there was my world, plants, trees, water, the earth but not people, I never had people in my world.

I never allowed other people to be in my world. I was alone all the time.

Now I have to tell, all was just an illusion I created in my mind, nothing real, nothing substantial, just imagination, flashing pictures – illusionary world where I separated myself from others, do not exist anymore.

I am here, and I do not have to imagine anything, I am fine with me alone and I am fine with people around me, through them I explore myself.

Thanks, Juraj

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