Monday, April 11, 2011

Slowing down

Today, I am like attacked, anxiety within me which goes like in waves, nervousness, stress,  this is related to money, pain in back, burning face, symptoms like some illness is coming but I will not be ill.

I focus on breath to stop it all, because, I am okey, signals from my body like I am going to collapse but I will not. This is strange experience, it looks like everything is mixing together. Interestingly, I am okay, lol I was today to check how much fees I need to pay, lol, I was little bit surprised that this goes back to 1999. Anyway I have to laugh on my ignorance now, yes I am not going to ignore those fees and I will pay it all, already made phone calls to law offices, I was immensely ignorant.

Hm, to postpone some unsolved issue for 12 years, sometimes I wonder how come I was so  ignorant. Anyway, will sort it all out and maybe in the end of the year everything will be clear.

It looks like I am today trying to solve many things at once.

I have to slow down, I can’t solve all at once, I have to let flow some space and time.

This pain I am experiencing, it is not pain in meaning that I do not like it, it is my reminder where I am.

Today I had tendency to go to casino, in my mind, like, nothing will happen, just put there only few money, just only few. Lol, nice trick of the mind, but I know these tricks. I let it go, it would be wasted money, and I need to solve mess I created and not to fall into it again.

Thanks, Juraj

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