Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Day 106 : Energy

                I separated myself from energy and I judged energy as bad. I perceived energy as something as the cause of everything I lived, I judged energy for all deception of my life, as my own life so called own became just this. Nothing.

                And I would like to go out. Out of this dream I live as life as perception of me as mind. It is not real. And as I see everything around as me, to which extent I deluded myself and thus to which extent are deluded this beings on this planet.

                Great job has been done as creation of the mind, flawless system of enslavement and abuse. And I would like to go out, simply stop this all and within this all, I became lost in making of decisions of what is right.

                I can’t even determine what is right. Nothing of that exists, and I burned myself such many times with my decisions, by paradox, even those decisions have not been done by me. How I could decide if everything I became is just illusion. How even I can do decisions when all my life the mind has been that dictator who made these decisions for me.

                And this dictator I allowed to live for me, is losing it own strength, and thus it is for me like strange to make decisions for myself, because within this I can’t even blame my thoughts. And I became like going nowhere, yes day by day walking my days and my life, but at the same time like not seeing the end of this all.

                Yes and it is the end I would like to see and to make the end for myself to stop everything I became, yes  I realize I can’t do it at once, but I would like to. Simply, it is like, I have enough.

                I have enough the lies everywhere; I have enough this systems everywhere I see. I have enough of this world and I have enough of people of this world. I have enough of useless speeches and I have enough of even one false smile.

                Everything, everywhere, all levels and all points are I see are rotten by inequality, deception, abuse, lies, manipulation, horrors and evilness of mankind.

                And I am part of this all. I have enough of me as a system.

Thanks, Juraj

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