The experiences of me, and the
perception of my life, over many years, became like ingrained into me the
perception, that life is pain, life is though, and that to be here is pain,
because of various different experiences going through fights with my brothers,
perception of my father, linked with the behaviors of mother, through
relationships with friends I had, the girls I dated with, school system and the
working system, and this all intertwined with money system, and how I managed
my life within this all together.
Thus perception of life, that
life is pain I became living it, managing everything into my own pain to me to
live here. The pain of life I experienced as physical pain cured and my body is
perfectly fine, the pains of myself as experiences within me became my living,
my perception and the way how I see my life.
I would like to enjoy my life
each moment, and I even do not see what real enjoyment, yes, several times I experienced,
myself as enjoying me, the moments I am here, but mostly, I see it is fake enjoyment
as it is directed towards external points I used to like, but as I removed energy
related towards this points I used to generate the positive energy, thus like
only pain remained.
And it is possible to enjoy me
as I am here? And it is possible to see life differently? To cure myself from
all the falls and lies, to cure myself from all hurts and became the one who
live here, in presence of me as life?
Sure, it is possible as
everything is possible, just do it.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to see and perceive my life as pain, as though,
as make believe created because of the falls in my life, lies I said and live,
because of hurts I experienced as energy movements based on separation, and
relationships with friends and girls where I started to perceive that
relationships are pain.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to see the relationships between me and friends
as pain and thus step back from any relationships as protection mechanism to
not be hurt anymore.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to see the relationships between myself and
girls as pain, horror and see and perceive it as though and thus live this
perception and believe and mange my life and the relationships the way to be
this pain, horror and though.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to do not enjoy myself here, not really enjoy
the moments I am here and live, because of perception, believe and idea that
life is hard, though, pain and horror and thus I would like to go somewhere
where life is more easier, mostly where are no people.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to step back from all people as a protection
mechanism to not be hurt.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to want and desire to live as bird, because of
perception and believe that bird is free and that bird has easy life that bird
can just sit and do not bother about anything.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to do not want to live on this planet because of
systems I have to live in, the deception and lies, and thus create within me
the perception and believe that life is hard, painful and though because of
money I have to get to be able to live, because of systems I have to deal with
and thus perceive myself that I have to defend myself and thus that I cannot
live myself, because I became living in constant pain of myself of seeing my
life, not seeing and realizing that it is me who managed everything this way,
and that it is me who perceived myself this way, and thus it is only me who can
change everything of me to be the way I really would like for myself, to have
and live life which is of worth, being here and enjoying my presence.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to perceive and believe that my relationship
with my father was terrible and horror, perceiving him as dictator and thus
separate myself from him, because of fear in front of him and thus hide and
present false face, false words, false behavior while living in family, because
of perception and idea that it is hard to be here, that I have to play the game
of life as adults showed me and thus became the player of my life, instead of
live my life.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to see and perceive myself as life as be hard,
as be horror, terrific and problematic, because of my own self definition
during events which took place in my life, like interactions with family
members, fights with brothers, lies heard and spoken by me and others, ended
friendships and ended relationships, and because of this I created within and
as me the idea, believe that life is hard, pain, and though, not seeing and realizing
the simplicity of being here and do what is necessary to do, to simply enjoy
and live me, be here not matter what.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to see my life as not of worth, not of value,
not of reason, instead of see and realize that life is the only value which
exists and which is real, and thus all life has the same value and the same
worth, and thus I am worthy and valued the same way as life is by itself.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to see and perceive myself as not worthy to be
life, because of abuse, manipulations, lies, deception I created for myself and
for others and thus judge myself and perceive myself as not worthy and thus
think, believe and create the idea that life is hard, painful and horror, and
thus became living the life the way I defined myself into and as.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to see and perceive my life as hard, painful and
horrific as a judgment, perception and believe that I have to be punished for
everything I accepted and allowed towards the life as me and that I have to pay
and learn the lesson to do no more abuse the life as myself.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to think, believe and perceive that I have to be
domed, punished, for everything I accepted towards myself as life, because
through this punishment I will be able to live as learned lesson to do no more
abuse myself as life.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that something bad exists
and that if I do something bad thus I have to be punished, not seeing and
realizing that nothing like bad exists, not seeing and realizing that good/bad
is the polarity system accepted and learned from my parents and by this create within
me the idea and believe that I have to be punished, because if not thus I am
bad, and by this punishment want to re-buy myself and re-get my self acceptance
as good persona, not seeing and realizing that this is just illusion of the
mind, not seeing and realizing that mind exists as polarity and not seeing the
world the way how world really is, and thus simply do not judge myself for this
creation, but rather became the solution.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that I have to suffer and
experience pain and horror, because of lost friendships, lost relationships,
lost friends, parents, brothers, and that I was the cause of this all, that I was
the one who did everything wrong and thus by this see and perceive myself and
my life as pain, problem and judge myself as the one who did everything wrong.
I commit myself to see myself of
worth, of value, of life as the only value which exists.
Thanks,
Juraj
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