Day 122 : I defined life – I trapped myself

                In my life, I had many different perspectives on life, or before life or after life, but I never considered the life here. I trapped myself into a believes about life, perspectives and ideas why I am here, or what this all should be about, and obviously I followed many of them to inevitably get to a point I trapped myself in my mind.

                To consider what is here, why and how I can solve this, is quite different, as I can solve only that what I can, but I had tendency to imagine lot of stuff what I could resolve and how and what I need to do that, thus make ideas about myself of doing something but actually I never did.

                I make about my life ideas and how I would like to live, about others, but at the end of all, nothing of that is real living, as I never really lived as this was impossible as I became less than my mind, follower of the thoughts, how scary this is once I see this here.

                To follow the thoughts is perversion towards the life.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think about life, what life is, or what life should be, make ideas, projections and believes about life.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to define life through and as the mind, to think and believe that life is about thoughts, emotions, feelings, perceptions, ideas, projections, imagination and the pictures I can see in and as my mind, instead of see and realize that I trapped myself into a illusions of the mind, instead of see and realize that all of that was my self deception, that I enslaved me, that I disregarded me, that I dishonored me,  that I separated myself from life and rather turned into a illusions about life, instead of live my life.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to believe that life has beginning and the end instead of see and realize that what is here and what is real simply is, thus has not beginning and has no end, as is infinitely here as presence of life, breath of life, which I am part of thus I am life.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to trap myself with the thoughts and from thoughts create energy for myself, instead of stop, breathe, be here each moment I breathe, in and as my breath, as breath of life as equality of myself with that what is here as me.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to separate myself from the life because of thought I am less than life.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to separate myself from what is here as life as breath because of participating and living in and as illusionary realm of the mind based on pictures, and thoughts.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to define life as pictures.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to myself to stop to live my life by the moment I accepted and allowed to myself very first thought in my life and by this thought separate myself from everyone, everything, from existence and from the physical and thus fall into and as mind as the one who start to believe in energy experiences created and generated by the thought as polarity friction of the mind.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to stop to live but rather start to believe.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to separate myself from the physical because of trust I placed into and as my mind and thus accept and allow to myself to create distance between me and physical because of believe in energy experiences, and thus accept and allow to myself to separate myself from energy and thus start to think and believe that this energy is that what I need and require, and thus became separate from energy, from physical, from my breath and create distance between myself, breath and energy, instead of stop and became equal with the flesh I am, breath I am, energy I accepted and allowed to live to see and realize how I separated myself by this energy and thus be able to start to live as the breath of life here, flesh as physical as the reality of my body I am in and as.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to participate on anything in the mind, and thus separate myself and define myself in and as the mind.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to believe that I have to live according information and knowledge of this world and thus accept and allow to trap me into a knowledge, instead of see and realize that all of this knowledge I have is my self deception of me.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to define life as short.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to compare life by the time I perceive.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to define life by the time I perceive.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to trap life into and as time.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to trap myself into time and do not see and realize that only what exists is moment which is here thus by this time do not exists.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to move myself between moments of the past which are gone and moments of the future which do not exists as moments of illusion and thus define myself by the past moments and the projected moments, and do not see and realize the moment I am here, in and as existence as me as breath.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to exist by and as memories of moments which are gone and by this memories define life, what life is and what life should be, instead of see life here.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to do not see life here.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to do not see what is really here as physical because I placed trust into and as mind as pictures and relationships between this pictures and thus separate myself from what is here.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to exist in and as believe that pictures are real instead of see and realize that pictures are mind control and mind enslavement to make me believe pictures are real, where in fact not a single picture reflect the physical reality.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to forget that me as awareness of myself is presence of me here in physical, as physical, as breath of life.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to do not see and realize that life breathes and thus everything of life breathes.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to do not see and realize that what is here is breathing.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to do not see and realize that I am breath.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to do not stand equal and one with and as breath of my body.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that I have no real power in my life, instead of see and realize that I am the power of me as me as breath as direction, movement of myself.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to do not see and realize that I am equality and oneness of me here as life as whole.

Thanks, Juraj