The
moments I experiences myself in and as energy experiences within me life, that
is what I start to believe life is, that I start to limit myself into and
defined myself as, as experiences I live and I was even not aware why I experienced
what I did.
I
had no idea from where my thoughts come, how are created, why I experience
something, why I define myself, why I limit myself, why I believe my mind, why I
trust that what was going on inside my body, and definitely I had never anybody
around I could speak about my experiences as this was impossible, as no one even
comprehend how to explain what is experiences within, thus all my life I was in
position of trusting this energy of the mind and experiences mind has been
serving me during my life time here, and thus I started to limit myself, define
myself, trap myself and giving my power to my mind because that is what everybody
is doing and thus I did as well.
I
started to think and believe that life is what I experience, and thus run for
experiences became my living, ach how deluded I was.
I
never experienced me, I never considered me, I never liked me because
everything I start to trust was this thoughts in my mind, the experiences of
the mind, thus everything I start to consider was again the mind, what I heard
was the mind, what I liked was the mind, what I adored, what I gave attention
was the mind, and thus everything of the mind, as fear I start to live, and my
question is, was this all, or has this all any worth or any value?
No.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to believe that life is about experiences of
fear and living in fear, as fear of the past, of the present and of the future,
not seeing and realizing that by this I trapped myself, limited myself and
defined myself in and as fear experiences I lived through my life time here,
and thus diminished my living but rather remained trapped in and as energy
definition, idea and believe of fear and that fear is real, not seeing and
realizing that any fear I experienced was because of me separated from that
what I feared , thus from myself.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that life is of experiences
of the mind, not seeing and realizing that by this I started to live illusion
of the mind and not live here as presence of me within and as each moment as
each breath.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to believe that what I experienced as energy
experiences of the mind as fear, anxiety, stress, nervousness, anger, likeness,
love, enjoyment or joy as positive and negative polarities of the mind is
living, life or experiencing myself, and thus by this defined the life, limit
life, myself as life and thus shape, mold and enslave myself into this
polarities of the mind and believe that this is everything I am, or that this
is everything I can ever experience, not seeing and realizing that I trapped
myself into illusions, delusions and ideas and believes about myself as life,
that I separated myself from myself, from body, form existence and thus start
to live just as a follower of the mind as the one who heard the thoughts of the
system designed to enslave me.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to put any value into and as systems of the mind
and think and believe that those systems is that what makes me alive, instead of
see and realize that systems of the mind as mind as system is constantly and
continuously enslaving me, killing me and raping me as the body, as I accepted
to myself to define who I am because of memories of energy experiences of the
mind and thus accepted and allowed to myself to live this and not myself and
not see myself.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that I can hide in front of
me, not seeing and realizing that hiding is impossible as everything and
anything which is here is me thus I can’t hide, as how could I as all that is
me.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to limit myself because of memories of me what I
live in the past, as fears transformed to others energy experiences and defined
and perceived as something else, not seeing and realizing that each and any
energy experience has foundation in and as fear of myself and thus not seeing
and realizing that any energy I experience is simply only fear.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to do not see and realize that very foundation
of the thoughts is to generate the energy of and for the mind and that only
energy mind generates is fear as the fear of myself became me because I separated
from myself because of this fear.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that any energy experiences
what I could experience are pleasurable or cool or fine because those ones are
positive, not seeing and realizing that this positivity is bullshits as hell as
this serves only to cover negative energies created and accepted within and as
my body and that I was in constant attempt to cover bullshits of me I accepted
towards myself, not seeing and realizing that this negative parts of me comes
from fear of myself and thus all I did in my life is that I just feared me, I feared
to accept me, I feared to be me, I feared to be here, I feared to face me, thus
I defined, limited and trapped myself into illusions of the mind as
projections, ideas and believes about me as I do not wanted to see here what
and who I really am in and as this physical reality.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to limit myself according energy experiences, bound
myself to this energy experiences and separate myself from myself because of
ideas and believes that those experiences are real, not seeing and realizing
that what is real simply have to last and stand the time, thus everything which
do not stand the time is of the mind and of illusion about myself, as illusion
of past, presence and future, not seeing in and as me that what is here, as
space as me as physical as me as breath has me is constantly here, thus
constantly infinite as is not defined by time, not past nor future just here.
Thanks,
Juraj
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