The very living as energy entity, energy demon just for harvesting the energy from the flesh, create and utilize for myself as experience, perception and believe that this is me, is that what I became in my life.
The believe, that energy experiences, positive or negative, are real, and that what I experience within my body as energy is real, became so strong, that to remove this means to go through all points I defined myself and as first remove the positive polarity, as this is covering that what I defined myself as negative.
As I removed positive polarity in many points as self definitions, I have to say, that from certain perspective I was disappointed about me, when I started to see what was in me, as me, part of me as negative. It was not nice picture; it was never nice picture, and this negative polarity which was hidden inside me for a year’s start to emerge, day by day, pictures, ideas, believes, spitefulness, as horrors and fears inside me start to coming up, and sometimes I became like lost for a certain time within me, as sometimes I was really shocked and surprised about me.
Thus my nature, and nature of my life, and my living, was this negative polarity I lived, I stored within and as me, and I cover this all with positive bullshit as energy to do not see what and who I really am.
To dare to see inside, on this negative self definitions, on this demons as energy possessions coming and existing within me because of fear of myself, as fear of what and who I became through my life, was and each time is quite challenging.
And to see inside me, and do not judge myself for this horrors I accepted inside and as me as negative polarity towards myself, is challenge as well, as I did and I am embracing myself as who I really am, as what I really became, as this energy demons I accepted to live, which I was not able to see in anyway what so ever, because I simply refused to see some aspects of myself.
Any, literally any energy movements, energy creation, is possession of self by energy and energy experience, and thus energy demon as this energy is created and accepted by self because of specific thought, event, reaction, self definition, believe, idea, projection, anything of this is the tool of the mind how to utilize the creation of energy by paradox through fear and thus create and posses one with the energy experience, where one will start immediately believe that it is real experience and that this is life. But, this is not so and this is not life. This all is the mind, of the mind, nothing to do with reality, with life, with that what is here, as everything of this is happening in the realms of mind.
Any projection accepted by self carry the fear as what if this will not happen, or will not become true? Any idea, carry the fear as what if it is not true, and desire carry the fear what if this will not happen, anything mind is capable to project, carry the fear as polarity thus carry the energy charge within and as self and thus possession of self is daily living of humans.
Fear is intertwined with anything and everything as basic platform of and why humans are driven to do what they do, fear is the foundation of our lives and fear is that what we live, because that is the only one point we experience in fact, but we think and believe that our experiences are something different, that we experience something good and positive, but this is not so.
Everything and anything we exist as and consist of as the mind, is just only fear. Fear is the only one driving force of ourselves, and fascinating is, that we all fuckingly fear to see into ourselves, what it really are, and who we really are.
But, till the time we will refuse to see who we really are, till that time we will delude ourselves with positive bullshits, and till that time we will remain trapped in and as our self believe that we are good, where in fact, each one of us is spiteful zombie living on and as fear.
And thus the fear, became the strongest addiction at all, because that is what we live.
I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think, believe and perceive that fear exists and that fear is real, instead of realize that everything which exists is me, part of me as me, and thus when I fear thus I fear myself.
I commit myself to investigate each fear which will come up and release myself from this fear, as I see and realize that the fear is illusion of the mind how I allowed to myself to trap myself into living as a system.