The very living as energy
entity, energy demon just for harvesting the energy from the flesh, create and
utilize for myself as experience, perception and believe that this is me, is
that what I became in my life.
The believe, that energy
experiences, positive or negative, are real, and that what I experience within
my body as energy is real, became so strong, that to remove this means to go
through all points I defined myself and as first remove the positive polarity,
as this is covering that what I defined myself as negative.
As I removed positive polarity
in many points as self definitions, I have to say, that from certain
perspective I was disappointed about me, when I started to see what was in me,
as me, part of me as negative. It was not nice picture; it was never nice
picture, and this negative polarity which was hidden inside me for a year’s
start to emerge, day by day, pictures, ideas, believes, spitefulness, as
horrors and fears inside me start to coming up, and sometimes I became like
lost for a certain time within me, as sometimes I was really shocked and
surprised about me.
Thus my nature, and nature of my
life, and my living, was this negative polarity I lived, I stored within and as
me, and I cover this all with positive bullshit as energy to do not see what
and who I really am.
To dare to see inside, on this
negative self definitions, on this demons as energy possessions coming and
existing within me because of fear of myself, as fear of what and who I became
through my life, was and each time is quite challenging.
And to see inside me, and do not
judge myself for this horrors I accepted inside and as me as negative polarity
towards myself, is challenge as well, as I did and I am embracing myself as who
I really am, as what I really became, as this energy demons I accepted to live,
which I was not able to see in anyway what so ever, because I simply refused to
see some aspects of myself.
Any, literally any energy movements,
energy creation, is possession of self by energy and energy experience, and
thus energy demon as this energy is created and accepted by self because of
specific thought, event, reaction, self definition, believe, idea, projection,
anything of this is the tool of the mind how to utilize the creation of energy
by paradox through fear and thus create and posses one with the energy
experience, where one will start immediately believe that it is real experience
and that this is life. But, this is not so and this is not life. This all is
the mind, of the mind, nothing to do with reality, with life, with that what is
here, as everything of this is happening in the realms of mind.
Any projection accepted by self
carry the fear as what if this will not happen, or will not become true? Any idea,
carry the fear as what if it is not true, and desire carry the fear what if
this will not happen, anything mind is capable to project, carry the fear as
polarity thus carry the energy charge within and as self and thus possession of
self is daily living of humans.
Fear is intertwined with anything
and everything as basic platform of and why humans are driven to do what they
do, fear is the foundation of our lives and fear is that what we live, because
that is the only one point we experience in fact, but we think and believe that
our experiences are something different, that we experience something good and
positive, but this is not so.
Everything and anything we exist
as and consist of as the mind, is just only fear. Fear is the only one driving
force of ourselves, and fascinating is, that we all fuckingly fear to see into
ourselves, what it really are, and who we really are.
But, till the time we will
refuse to see who we really are, till that time we will delude ourselves with
positive bullshits, and till that time we will remain trapped in and as our
self believe that we are good, where in fact, each one of us is spiteful zombie
living on and as fear.
And thus the fear, became the
strongest addiction at all, because that is what we live.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to think, believe and perceive that fear exists
and that fear is real, instead of realize that everything which exists is me,
part of me as me, and thus when I fear thus I fear myself.
I commit myself to investigate
each fear which will come up and release myself from this fear, as I see and
realize that the fear is illusion of the mind how I allowed to myself to trap
myself into living as a system.
Thanks,
Juraj
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