Day 125 : I will not influence people and their lives

                Some time ago, I made decision that I will not influence people and their lives, as I saw that it is almost impossible to speak with people, as the believes people live about life and themselves are so strong, that I saw no point to even try to communicate about anything with those where I do not saw any possibility to speak.

                I can say that for years I tried to speak with people and communicate everything possible, to see if I can share with them more, but the fear I saw people have in themselves even after few minutes of speech, is like barricade and thus I saw no point to try to break the walls they created in themselves in front of this world.

                To challenge the believe system of people, is like challenge their entire life and thus challenge all demons and insanity of the mind, yet they can’t see and even can’t accept that they could be wrong.

                After years of sharing various points with people, no one remained in my presence, as the fear within people is probably the strongest point of their influence, and thus if I do not fed their ego I became persona non grata. But I am not here to masturbate anybody ego nor mine.

                After years of walking of my process, I made many mistakes and many misinterpretations, I created within me many demons and thus I had to remove them, I was many time like bumping from one side of the border to another but still not giving up on myself as I see and realize why I am walking what I am walking.

                I was wrong with any of my perception, I was wrong with each ideas, each believe, I was wrong with each thought and any projection. I was wrong with the many words and my attitude, and I was wrong with and as myself, as relationship to me I created and thus lived. I was wrong with my entire life, and as I started to see and realize why this all happened, I started to walk my process, and absolutely do not cared what others will think about the words I speak and share, as I see what I speak.

                The road I chosen, is probably the hardest road to walk and yet most simple as well, as only one exists, and it is seeing into me and what I became and thus challenge me and challenge my entire mind system I accepted to myself to live.

                But, after all period, all people I knew are gone, and only one I met which I could share as much as possible in such short period of time, where this persona even tried to apply SF and try to find for herself if this is also the way she would like to go. If she will, I do not know.

                The world how it exists today, is no possible to stand back and do not influence others, it is not possible to have no impact, as some people fear me just because of my presence, which is interesting. We have influence on each other, and thus what we speak is crucial as this has probably the most influential point we have, what and how I speak. Interesting point is, when I speak, without any intention to create the fear in people, they create this fear just only because I speak and what I speak, thus people even fear the words which do not fit into their believe system and thus into their life.

                Isn’t this insanity? Isn’t this so obvious, how much we used to live in fear, that even we do not see we live it? Is this living? To constantly hide, to fear everybody and everyone, the words, behaviors, everything is ingrained by fear, and we call this fear life and living. How come humanity, that the life has been forgotten and that only fear is only driving force?

                This planet, our lives, everything could be different way, life can be really pleasure for anybody here, life can be enjoyment and real happiness each day we are here, but it is not so.

                Joy and happiness do not exists, lets have a look, in each country, in each city, people starving, people dying, people lost and yet others claim to be happy. But this happiness, is just ignorance of others, and yet we as humanity we are not able to cover absolute basics needs of each human being on this planet.

                How could, that we are no capable to do the basic? How come, that we are no able to care about each other, how come we are rather destroying everything which do not fits into our believes? From where this believes come, and who inserted this believes into us.

                Thus, where is freedom? Do not exist.  Where is free will? And even question is, what is free will? Who comprehend what even free will could be? Everywhere is just insanity of demons as the humans accept within and as themselves, as possession of mind creation.

                Where we go as humanity, is clear. Into a destruction and age of psycho zombies running everywhere. And this, we even dare to call : intelligence. This is empty word and no human is intelligent.

                We based the life on money, yet those money are fake as are printed by elites and distributing according their will to keep humans enslaved into and as papers and coins.

                Our lives, became determined by paper and coins. This is the biggest insanity, we accepted to ourselves, this is the biggest fall of mankind, as that what is of life, is determined by numbers printed on paper.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to determine life and value of the life by money as papers, coins and thus make from this higher value than life and thus accept and allow to participate on system of abuse and manipulation where money system is in place just for sake of controlling people.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to be controlled by money through the relationship I created within and as me towards money in separation from them, and thus accept the system of control and relationship within and as me as money.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to exists within and as perception of the world through money, through papers and coins, and define life and value of the life by this money.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to give value to money and not see money as a tool.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to do not see and realize that money are system of inequality.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to do not see and realize that money are in place to keep people enslaved through survival and fear.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to see myself and others through illusionary value of money.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to want to do not influence people, instead of see and realize that everything I do, speak is direct influence on others, thus it is me who have to be living example of my words I speak.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to want to separate from others and do not have to influence them, not seeing and realizing that this is impossible as I am here in and as all.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to do not want to be responsible for life of others, instead of see that I am responsible by each of my action, word as consequences of that what I do and speak.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to do not want to see consequences of my words and actions and do not want to take responsibility for others by words I speak.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to want to let go this word the way it is heading, instead of stand up for myself as who I really am and direct myself the most effective ways to be able bring change on this planet, not as a savior or hero, but as life as the only value which is here in equality and oneness of me.

Thanks, Juraj