The presence of myself here, the
presence of me, I defined and created within me the very idea, the very
believe, that here, is presence in and as my mind.
This idea, this believe, that I am
here, has been molded, created, confirmed by me, as my mind, me as mind,
through senses I use as touch, as smell, as seeing, as environment around me,
and the thoughts I heard in my head, and thus energy I experienced, all of this
linked together, and from this intertwined relationships within me as acceptance
of living as the mind, comes the idea, that I am here, present and that I live.
The believe, that to be here, is to live the mind.
All of this, is bullshit. Mind,
has absolute no understanding, no clue, what it even could be to be here, mind can’t
see what is here, mind even can’t experience any moment of here, it is
impossible as mind is based as illusion, mind is in past, that simply anything as
the mind, is separated, through the energy experiences created separation from
physical, and thus making to experience the physical impossible.
Obviously, if I would be able to
stand equal and one as physical, thus I couldn’t experience myself to be
separated from anything which exists, I couldn’t have this experience that
anything I touch is not me. If I would be able to be here, as presence of me,
as awareness as who I really am, thus it would be impossible for me to hear any
thought, as I found no reason why physical should hear some voice speaking, as
everything as physical I can see, is simply here.
Or even I can place a question,
do I see what is here? Do I see everything which exists within and as moment of
here? Am I aware of this moment in absolute as me? Am I equal and one with the
moment, as all? The answer, is no.
Therefore, it means, that I am
not here. This is truth about me, I am not alive and I am not here.
It seems like paradox, that I am
not here and that I am not alive and that I am not aware of me as who I really
am, but anyway I am able to type and write this. I am writing from the past
where I use to live, I am writing to me to see and realize, that living in the
past is not living, I am writing to me to see and realize, that I allowed and
accepted to live a system, a lie, a very deception of myself about myself as
who I am.
I am writing to me, to give
myself a opportunity to see, what I became and how I enslaved myself into
living a lie, and even I can’t say living a lie, as lie is not living, but
accepting the lie about myself, the very lie I accepted and allowed for myself,
to think and believe, that I am here, but I am not.
I forgive to myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to think
and believe that I am here, as presence of me, as awareness as me, not seeing and
realizing, that I allowed and accepted the very lie about myself, in separation
from myself, about myself, living in self deception, that I am here, that I am
alive, instead of realizing, that everything what I am, what I became, is
system of the mind, pre-programmed design of senses, of thoughts, of energy
experiences I allowed and accepted myself to live, and through this create
within and as me the idea and believe that I am here and that I experience
myself.
I forgive to myself that I have
allowed and accepted to myself to think and believe that I am aware of me, of
myself ,as who I really am as breath here, equal and one with my body, as
existence of me, instead of seeing and realizing that I allowed and accepted to
myself to live believe and idea of my mind, what it could be to be here, what
it could be to live, what it could be to experience myself through energy I allowed
and accepted to live as fear, love, anger, sex, anxiety, excitement, and through
this energy experience separate myself from myself, from my body, and became
the separated energetic entity living as reflection of past experiences which I
allowed and accepted as energy experiences of me in separation from myself.
I forgive to myself that I have
allowed and accepted to myself to think and believe that to be here is
experience the touch, instead of being the touch and expressing myself as
physical, equal and one.
I forgive to myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to think
and believe that to be here is the hearing the thoughts in my mind,
experiencing the senses of the mind as touch, smell, see, hear, taste, instead
of being here within and as moment of breath, equal and one with my body as
physical, where no reaction, where no energy experience, where no external
influence is experienced, but just me as breath here.
Thanks,
Juraj
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