I pressured on me to do not
expressed me within moments here because of accepted way of living by society
and definition and ideas what this living is and thus fit into society. I
pressured on me to do not express me because of existence in the mind, accepted
living in the mind and not here.
It was me who pressured on me to
do not allow me to live here, because of inferiority I accepted to live towards
my mind, through various believes about me or life, or people, how things
works, many other points.
But why? What I feared? I feared to live me? I feared to accept me as
life and accept me as expression of life as breath here? I pressed on me to do
not express me because I am adult and thus adults behave certain way and thus
adults can’t express specific points? What is this definition to be adult and
why I allowed living according ideas and believing what it means to be adult?
Is this therefore life or living when I just copied from grownups how they
behave, how they speech and how they exist?
Thus I submit myself into a
order of the mind as a copy of that what I saw in my environment, in meaning,
how people behave around me and thus I accepted to myself to be brainwashed by
my own observations of that what I saw, as all I took into consideration was
pictures, thoughts and emotions/feelings of other when I was in process of
growing up, I never realized that times that behind this pictures is vast
amount of fuck up of those I observed.
Interestingly, thus I allowed to
suppress me because of observed fucked way of living of others and their words
and their believes, and I forgot to take into consideration me, to see me
within those moments, I do not allowed to myself to express me as I was in
process of coping fuck ups into myself and thus define myself according that, I
allowed to take the shit of others into me and thus created and define myself
accordingly.
Anyway, it is completely
irrelevant what others accept, what are they believes, what they fear and why,
because I do not take shit of others anymore.
I accept only equality and
oneness, that’s the point which is relevant for me, as within this principle
everything is considered, everything is took into attention, but not the shits,
not the deception, not the lies as why should be? No reason exists for lies,
for deception, for abuse, for manipulation, for the way of living people
accepted to live, as it is just submission into a mind where mind is the
dictator and human beings just the slaves of this dictatorship, and thus
questions is, where is freedom?
Where is the real freedom of
humanity, of human beings, if they are not even able to see how they are
controlled by the mind? Where is the free will, if the humanity is not able to
see that the prison people lives are they submission of the mind? Where is this
free will? Dosed this free will even exists within people? How this could
exist, if people can’t see how much they brainwashed are just because of their
own fears?
Freedom does not exist and free
will neither, until all systems die, free will as free life as expression can’t
exist.
I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to
suppress myself within and as my mind, through acceptances and allowances of
living in and as submission of the mind as a programmed behavioral patterns I observed
through my eyes in my environment and thus think and believe that those
patterns I observed is that what I should live and express, instead of see and
realize that I within this I didn’t expressed myself as who I am here as breath
but just copied patterns of others.
I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to copy
into my the patterns of speech, behavior, the way of movements and the way of expression
from my father and from my mother, from my friends and from teachers, from
adults as looking upon them as those who know more and lived more, instead of
see and realize that everything I observed was programmed and served just for
the purpose of programming myself into and as mind system as automated robot
who just repeat patterns of movements, speech, expression and thus not living
myself as expression of breath here, but just limited designed system by me of
copy and duplicated expressions.
I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to forgot
what I my real expression here as breath as life because of my accepted and
allowed suppression of myself because of observed pattern around me within those
grownups I was looking upon as I believed they know more and thus I should
follow what they lived and what they expressed, not seeing and realize that by
this I became just repeating program of myself, where I just wait suppressed within
my body and gave power to my mind to initiate the patterns and programs as behaviors,
speech, movements of myself, not seeing
and realizing that those patterns are ignited by thoughts of the mind and
reactions as energy movements of the mind, and I am not the mind, I am
here as my physical body, as breath.
I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to pushed
on myself and thus suppressed myself because of copied, observed behavior around
me and thus think and believe that should move, speech, express myself
accordingly, and thus create the ideas and believes about myself and thus limit
myself and my self expression just into and as mind ideas, believes,
projections of my as what, who I should be within moments I am here, instead of
express myself as breath as my physical body here.
I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to forgot
to see me and express me within situations and moments I am facing and submit
myself into and as patterns of copied movements, behaviors, ideas and believes
about me, instead of express myself here as the breath.
I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to fear to
express myself here, as accepted and allowed suppression of me through ideas and
believe about myself, about life, and what living should be, as copied behavior,
movements and the way I move according those I observed within the reality.
I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to fear to
push through my own resistance of expressing myself here, and rather remain
suppressed within and as my mind, as a protection mechanism of myself in
believe that once I am suppressed and hidden thus I can’t be harmed.
I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to fear to
stand up within and as me and express myself as who I am here as breath, but
rather remain enslaved in and as ideas and believe of the mind about me, about
the movements, behaviors and speech of me, as how I should behave to do not
create the friction, conflict because of fear of friction and fear of conflict,
instead of see and realize that fear is just my own idea and believe about
protection of myself, as everything I wanted thus protect myself, instead of
stand up as me, as breath here and live me as equal to me, and equal to others.
I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to
suppress myself because of idea and believe and fear that I can be harmed or
punished and because of fear of conflict, instead of stand up each moment I am
here, and face that what I need to face to bring equality and oneness into and
as this world, as reflection of me as who I am as life, as what is possible as
living example of breath and life.
I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to suppress
myself because of perception of authority and that I am less than, instead of
see and realize that I am never less and never more, I am as who I am as equal
and one to myself as all.
I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to suppress
myself because of ideas and believe that within the existence are those who are
more and those who are less, instead of see and realize that it was just my own
fuck up accepted as idea by me as mind, and thus lived accordingly, instead of
stand up and express myself as breath as equal to me, equal to my body, and
equal to those I am facing within and as my world.
I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to
suppress myself as a point of waiting on something which could possibly allow
me to give permission to express me, instead of stand up within and as me as
breath, see and realize that it is me who is giving permission to me to
express, to live, to be here, and not defined and suppressed within and as my
mind, thus I am giving permission to me to express me in self honesty and live me no matter what.
Thanks,
Juraj
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