The believe that sexual energy
is of pictures comes from the point when I experienced this first time, and
thus this believe has been supported over years within me, as each time I got
excited thus it was because of pictures I saw without or as ideas, believes and
projections within my mind. Anyway it was still the pictures and the relationships
I created within me towards this shapes.
Thus believe that sex is of
pictures and of energy and of excitement and release come from the period of
developing myself as a mind and thus my enslavement and inferiority towards the
mind, as energy slave and energy addict, because, obviously, I thought to myself
everything of that was real experiences of me, myself, and that this was the
way I should perceive myself.
Simply, delusions over delusions
and forgetting who I am within that.
I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think
and believe that sex and sexuality is of pictures, of shapes, of perceptions ,
ideas and believes within me created because of believe that because I experienced
energy within me, in my penis and in my body in front of picture and seeing of
this picture as naked female body, that thus this experience is real experience
of me, instead of seeing and realizing that it was of the mind as what mind
operates with are pictures and energies as relationships towards this pictures
as acceptance and allowance of ideas and believes, what sex should be, what
possible sex can be, and what possible is sexual expression, instead of see and
realize for myself that mind always try to interpret and comprehend what that or
this could be, because of separation and its very own design of running on
energy and thus trying and attempting to get always possible the energy to
sustain itself and thus keep me entrapped and enslaved in illusion of
experiences as energy movements within me.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to separate myself from shapes, pictures, colors
and presentation as picture of female body, where I start to relate and refer
to this picture of female body and create within me likeness or dislike
according society norms and controls of what is possibly beautiful, what is
possibly acceptable, what is possibly nice and sexy, what I should like and
where and when I should experience energy as sexual excitement, according ideas
and believe that sexuality is of pictures and of that what I can see through my
physical eyes and from this pictures create within me the energy and energy
movement and thus move accordingly of this energy as energy addict and zombie
in believe that this energy is something magnificent, cool and that I need it,
want it as I saw that everybody around me is speaking about this and how cool
it is an what they experiences are and according that I started to create
within me the ideas and believes that it could be really cool to experience sex
and have sex with the female and thus follow accordingly the creation of ideas
and believes within my mind about sex, and what this sex and energy could be, instead
of stop, see and realize for myself that it is trap of the mind how to enslave myself
into generating the energy and thus sustain the mind and sustain control over
my life, instead of see, comprehend, understand and realize, that simply when I
stop, thus I stop and if anything move within me, thus it have to be of the
mind and thus it is not real, because when I stop, thus I stop absolute.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself separate myself from picture and presentation of
female body and thus think and believe that I need to be in presence of picture
of female body, that I require and need to look and see female body and through
this generate the energy for myself in and as believe that this energy as sexual
excitement is something cool and pleasurable and that I need it and want it,
not seeing and realizing for myself that through such acceptances and allowance
I am consuming myself as my body through my mind, and thus diminishing and dishonoring
myself as flesh ,as that what it real because of believe in illusion and thus
wanting and attempting to make from that what is real an illusion because of
believe that this illusion is real, not seeing and realizing g that I fooled
myself and deluded myself completely through the mind, as I accepted and allow
to my mind direct me through ideas, believes and perception about sex, what sex
could be, and with believe that because I experienced energy and judged this
energy as cool and create within me likeness that thus this energy is something
worth to live for, not seeing and realizing the consequences of such acceptances
and allowances, that through this I am allowing and giving my mind the power to
consume and eat my body as flesh, destroy and diminish my body as physical,
that through this I am allowing my mind to exist as a parasite and me just
observing and letting my mind to rape my body and doing nothing with that
because of believe and addition of this energy as obsession and possession of
me as me, that this is life and living me, not realizing that it is so called
life of the mind, but mind is not of the life but of the program as perfect design
how to trap myself through my own acceptance and allowances into a believe that
it is me who decide and that it is me who move not realizing that I deluded myself
within this believe, that it was always my mind who moved me because followed
and accepted the script and program of the mind as code of getting the energy
and sustaining the energy of empowering itself and having power over me through
my own addiction, through my own inferiority where I allowed to kneel down in front
of my mind and say – My mind, here I am use me each way possible and I will
sere you as a perfect slave, and you will get as much energy as possible until I
die – instead of standing up absolute within me, standing up and merge myself
with and as the mind completely and entirely as mind, as equal and one with the
mind and thus see and realize myself each movement of the mind , each attempt of
the mind how mind wants to direct me, and thus say stop and stand up and stop,
to stop me each moment, each experience of the mind as energy stop, to take
back my power as who I am as life, and thus became equal and one with my body
as physical as flesh h as who I really am as life here, within and as the breath
of life, instead of stop all separation within me and stop all relationships within
me and investigate search and test each ways possible myself and release myself
from all my own acceptance and allowances and do not allow to my mind to direct
me anymore, as mind is perversion towards the life and do not deserve any
respect, as what is of system do not deserve to exist as system is parasite of
the life, and thus I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to
myself to became the parasite of life and abusing, killing and maintain the
life just as a tool for getting the energy for myself in believe that it is for
myself not seeing and realizing that it was always for my mind, and thus I allowed
to kill life for energy.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to separate myself from pictures of female
bodies, to separate myself from female legs, hips, body front as pelvic area
and belly, the hands, breasts and chest, the neck and face and hair and thus
think and believe that I need to create the relationships within me towards the
points I separated myself from, not seeing and realizing that all what I need
is to stop all separation of myself from myself to be able to realize and see
who I am here as physical as life as breath.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that because I experienced
energy as sexual excitement within my body and within my penis while looking
and seeing female body as a doll and naked female body, that this energy experience
is real experience of me and thus create within me the likeness toward this
energy and separate myself from this energy because of believe and perception
that it is something which I like, need and want experience, not realizing for
myself that I fall into a trap of the mind of killing and abusing the flesh and
physical and destruction of the physical as a program where existence of the
mind is simply destruction of physical, thus destruction of me and destruction
of life, not seeing and realizing that within me fall in and ass a trap of the
mind, into a believe that I decide what I do, when and how, is exactly what
mind wanted to myself to believe in, that it was me and not the mind as
programmed system as a design of creation of enslavement and abuse and
separation.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to separate myself form pictures of female asses
and perceive the female as a tool for getting and generating the sexual energy within
me and connect the ideas and believes and perception how it could be to touch
female as, how it look, al the shapes possible and thus according my own brainwashing
even judge female asses as bad, good, nice, ugly , I want / I do not want, and
from this create within me the relationship and desires and believes how it
could be to touch, kiss, or fuck into and as female ass from behind.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to separate myself from females and thus start
to accept the living as separated entity from females as ego of the mind and
think and believe that I need females, that I like females, that I desire to be
with females, instead of see and realize that anything as movement, as energy,
as desire, as believe, as ides, as projection, as fear, as anxiety, as nervousness
is of the mind, instead of see the points within me directly and instantaneously
and thus forgive myself and let go living in the mind as zombie as a weak
addict of energy because of believe that I can’t move myself without this energy,
that I need it and require it, instead of stand up and not more allow to
perceive myself as weak, or that weakness exist, instead of each moment to
stop, to stop till the moment I stop as absolute silence of me, until I stop as
absolute direction as who I am as life here to stop everything and anything
which mind use to move myself.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to fall into and as mind believe that the
experience of energy moment as excitement as sexual energy is real experience
of me and thus think and believe that sex is about energy and thus act and move
accordingly requirements of my mind for getting and generating this energy.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe and create within me the
idea s about sex and sexuality and what sex could possibly be, through separation
myself from myself, from my physical body, and thus create within me the
relationships towards the pictures of female body as a point of my separation
from myself and thus start to relate and refer to this point and move according
the requirements of the mind for getting the energy to sustain itself, instead
of standing up for myself and see and realize that any energy requirement is
simply attempt to move me as a slave ,a puppet,
as a tool and that I am not that, that I am not the system, I am not the mind, I
am not of the mind, I am of life, of physical, of breath, equal and one with everything
which exist within and without.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself separate myself form female body as a picture
and thus think and believe that sex and sexuality is of experiences I created within
me as energy movements when I touch female body, instead of expressing myself
here as physical, instead of move myself here as physical, as breath of live
and express and live myself as who I really am.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to create within me the relationship toward
females and pictures of females instead of standing equal and one with and as
pictures of females as me, as females as being, as females as life, as females
as me and not allow and accept nothing less or more then equality of me, in me,
as me, with me, here as breath of life.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself separate myself form females and from pictures
of females and thus use this as a point of energy creation for myself as a
energy addict, as a energy zombie and energy slave, and thus I forgive to
myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself through the separation of
myself to abuse, to use, and manipulate the females into a point of getting the
energy for myself.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to separate myself from female breasts, hands,
chest, neck, face, hairs, eyes, lips, nose, ears and towards this point create within
me the relationships and perceptions of likeness of dislikes according society
brainwashing propaganda to think and believe that everything within me of
energy is real experience of me, that it is me experiencing me, that I need and
require to live this ideas and believes and projections ,that I need to remain
separated from myself and all thus allow and accept to abuse myself through act
of thinking, act of allowing the desires, needs, and want to direct me as a
puppet in and through believe that it is me who decide.
I forgive to myself that I have
accepted and allowed to myself to connect towards females picture of eyes, lips,
nose, ears, face, neck, breast, hands, chest, belly, legs, pelvic area, vagina,
hips, the sexual energy, the likeness, the idea and believe that I need and require
to touch, to experience this energy and to connect to this the feeling of love
as likeness towards the picture I can see through my physical eyes, instead of
see and realize that I accepted and
allowed to myself to deceive myself with my eyes, that I deceived and deluded with
the pictures I can see, because I separated myself from myself and thus allowed
to abuse and use the females according my own fall and addiction within and as
mind, where I just followed the written experiences , already pre-programmed to
keep me enslave and trapped within the illusion of energy, illusion of life, instead
of stop, see and realize for myself that I am here as breath, as life, as
physical and that’s all and everything I am, nothing less, nothing more, me
here.
Thanks, Juraj
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