Friday, September 14, 2012

Day 67 : Tiredness – Direction – Self movement




                What is tiredness, and what means to be tired? When tiredness is real? I noticed interesting point, at the beginning of my process, after applying self-forgiveness I became sometimes so tired, that I was not able to function and thus I had to go to bed, to sleep just for a while, as tiredness experienced was immense.

                Over time, this tiredness became les and les and eventually I was able to function fresh all day, I applied SF on tiredness so far many times. Each time this tiredness disappeared and I continued during my days.

                As I realized, real physical tiredness I always experience within and as my body, in muscles, when I see that my body is really tired and need rest. The second type of tiredness, I experience within my head region, it is just sense of being tired, this sense come often after stopping some point, some energies within me, of after applying SF, just question is, why this tiredness come?

                Sometimes, this tiredness was within me as a protection mechanism of not wanting to face the reality, not wanting to face me, thus energy created and sense of being tired, to rather escape and not have to do what I had to, most of time when I had to accomplish something, and I do not wanted, or I do not wanted to bother myself with participation on specific tasks, thus rather I allowed tiredness to emerge within me and thus go to bed.

                Or after applying SF, experience like removed energy and living on that energy, and thus have nothing within me what could move me, instead of taking responsibility and move myself without this energy. Interesting scenarios.

                Anyway, it is always, to be directed by energy, or direct self as self movement. To move, be here and enjoy the presence without necessity of being directed by anything and anyone. That’s quite journey to accomplish into perfection.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that tiredness exist, that it is real experience of me, instead of realizing that tiredness as experience within and as my body, in head, as energy is just of the mind, created and generated by me as a point of not wanting to face me, to participate on that what is required to be done, as my resistance, as a point of boredom, as a point of energy requirement of being directed by energy and live on and as energy, instead of standing up as who I am, instead of taking responsibility for myself and my world and people within my world and move myself ,express myself, voice myself and speak myself within and as breath ,as expression of me as living word.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself the tiredness to exist within and as me as a energy generated and allowed by me as mind as a point of not have to accomplish certain tasks I have to, as a point of wanting to rest and have a time for myself and wanting to have energy within me as a point of wanting to be directed by energy instead of standing up, and do not accept and allow the energy as tiredness to move me and direct me and my world, my speech and my life.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to became addicted on energy and thus require always experience some energy, and even when this energy is not experienced by any means and any point here, thus create the energy as tiredness to have a point of abdicating my self responsibility and responsibility for my life and my world and not having to direct myself, to move myself but rather submit myself into and as mind as energy to move me and direct me.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself the existence of energy as tiredness to exist within and as me as a point of separation from energy to have a platform for experiencing this energy in believing that this experience is real experience of me as myself as who I am, instead of seeing and realizing that always I accept and allow to the experience of energy in separation from myself, thus I am supporting the separation within and as the world in me and outside of me, that I am supporting the existence of tiredness as energy movement and direction of energy, that within this I am supporting the abdication of one’s life and taking responsibility for one’s life, instead of taking self responsibility, to stand up within and as me as who I am here as breath, to stand up and show as a living example of living word that it is possible to stand up and take self responsibility for life and oneself within this world, to direct myself without energy requirements and not accepting and allowing to be directed by energy.

Thanks, Juraj


No comments:

Post a Comment