Monday, August 20, 2012

Day 46 : Starting point for change


                I realized, as a young boy, as I saw a females, they movements, speech, attitude, I placed women on the side as – they are better than males, they are the more soft gender, they are more good persona.
               
                I placed woman at certain manner at pedestal in front of me, and I adored women as the being which seemingly are better as males and I wanted to be a better persona because I saw the “ goodness “ in females.

                I was wrong.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to want to change myself and be better person because of women thus I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to want to prove to women that I can change and be better person instead of realizing and seeing that the starting point to change myself have to be self, as who I am as breath of life here, thus I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to want to change myself and be better person because I placed women as better than males and thus allowed and accepted to myself to looking upon the females thus I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to perceive, think and believe that females are more than males as I placed them as more than me, thus I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to think and believe about myself that I am inferior towards females and that I am less than females instead of realizing that I am equal and one with them thus I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to fear to speak with females directly and to fear what females will think about myself and to fear how they will behave towards me if I will speak to them directly thus I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself change myself because of females instead of seeing and realizing that my starting point to change myself have to be self as me as who I am as breath of life here thus I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to live the desire to be a better person in front of females instead of realizing that it is me who have to wants to be better in front of myself and not in front of others and thus I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to perceive the females as my savior and desire and want to be in presence of females as my savior of being a better person, instead of realizing that through such desire I am led just be desire and not as self movement as self realization thus I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to desire to be with a woman as my savior and some one who will show me how to live , what to do as my mother showed me through polarities system how I should live and what I should follow as good and bed and how I should behave towards females thus I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to behave towards females as polarity friction between good/bad instead of being here and expressing myself here within and as moment of my breath, thus I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to do not stand for myself and for my breath as my breath here but just follow program and script how I should behave in front of females.


Thanks, Juraj


No comments:

Post a Comment