Day 33 : Pissed off about limitation, pissed off about myself

                I had strong reactions against one human, in meaning, of how limited is point of view of this human and the way of behavior towards me, how this persona act only from perspective of self interest and do not consider absolutely anything just only own point of view and how limited it is.

                Thus I became curious what it is, why I am so pissed off about this persona, why I am angry of this persona, and why I allowed back chat towards this persona, and therefore what this persona is saying about me, where and how I allowed myself to be fucked and limited.

                I realized, my own limitations, it is my own limitation I see I am pissed about. I was pissed about myself and about me as I see that me points of view, are still so limited, what I realize is still so limited, and thus I was pissed about myself how come that I was not able to see who this persona is in front of me, and I could experience how it is, if I act/acted the way where I considered only me, myself, and do not cared about others.

                It is great shit as I see now, self interest, where only one point is seen as myself as ego is really great shit, from perspective, how abuse and manipulation is allowed and thus became the direction of one’s life.

                I am bit shocked, self interest, as ego, is from certain perspective disgusting, this persona, is innocent in own actions and words, but I realized, how it is, when one act and speak in sake of self interest, it is limitation and it is blindness to reality, to life, to self, to others, to everything.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to do not see and realize that when I act as ego in self interest thus actually I am blind and limited by the mind as the mind where I follow mind as search for energy and satisfaction thus I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to limit myself through and as ego of the mind as self interest.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to be angry on myself and pissed off about myself as and on my own limitations and blindness as desire to want to see and realize more thus I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to be angry on myself because I see and realize that I am limited and thus I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to be angry on myself because of my own limitations instead of searching and investigating how I can break my own limitations.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to do not see and realize that I can’t break my own limitations at once but I have to walk my process step by step, breath by breath, within and as breath and do not allow myself to spent time in mind.

Thanks, Juraj