Thursday, August 9, 2012

Day 39 : Love the fear


                I have been molded by creation of fear, I created that fear and I allowed this fear to mold me, to shape me, to define me, to imprison me.

                I created fear as I separated myself from myself, and the origin as me I perceived as something other as the second point I created.

                I forgot it was me who created this separation, I forgot it is me the second point I separated myself from.

                I created inequality through separation and fear, I forgot how I created it and I remain just as this prison of me as me standing alone and looking, observing, wondering how come things works how they works. I forgot myself as creator and I forgot my creation as the responsibility I wanted to shift on some other being thus God was handy one who could be blamed for, as what has been created is  
“ madness “.

                The madness I created and I didn’t want to look it was me who created it, the madness I observed I did not want to stand equal with, as I lost myself within my creation and lost the solution for myself and others as me.

                The reason for separation is simple, not wanting to take self responsibility and not wanting to stand up for myself and for others as me.

                Thus everything what remain is me and my fear.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to love my fear and define myself according fears I experience in believing that this fears are real as expression of me here, thus I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to think and believe that I am so week to break through my fears and that I can’t stand up through my fears and that I have to remain within the boundaries I created for myself as my fears to remain enslave and imprisoned and never realize who I am as life and never see who I am as life thus I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to fear to stand up for myself in all aspects of me equally and for others and wanting to stand alone from everything in existence as not wanting to take my self responsibility for that what I created and wanting and desiring to have someone who I could blame for this creation thus I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to created within me the idea of God as higher entity who should be blamed for as the all knowing being which loves all and that the wish and will of this being is directing my life and life of others through the saying – Gods roads are blind and erratic and thus allow to myself to fall into a following the ideas and believes about myself and world I live in I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to fear the entity as God as my idea of higher being which knows all and thus I do not have to take responsibility for that what I create thus I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to fear my idea about god in believing that I will be punished when I will not pray to this god and when I will not follow the written order of this god which has been presenting to me not seeing and realizing that it is just trap for myself to do not stand up for myself and blindly follow the system as my god thus I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to not see and realize that here is no such higher being who creates but it is me who creates through my participation in this world, through my words, my action, my movements, my thoughts, thus I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to not see and realize that each one word I speak have direct consequences on all existence as me and that each action I do have consequences on existence and each my thought has the same consequences thus I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to do not want to be responsible for myself as the creator as consequences I see are madness in this existence thus I do not want to take responsibility for this madness but rather remain separated from myself to have some point I could shift the responsibility and blame and thus make from myself more and good thus I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to not see and realize that everything what I created are consequences of inequality I lived through ego within and as my mind thus I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to do not want to take responsibility for the system of inequality I created and bring here equality of me as myself as living word and for others, where all being are treated and considered equally thus I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to fear myself because I fear to be equal with myself and stand up equally for all thus I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to myself to fear equality of me as all parts of me which exists are considered equal and stand for them equal within principle of oneness and equality.

Thanks, Juraj 


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