Day 103 : Game of more and less – is this life?

                I realized, why I created likeness towards points within my life, and the dislikes, and this is the point of mind game as less than and more then.

                To this point is connected creation of desire to get that what I like, therefore to get what I perceived as more, and thus be satisfied once this is received because through getting that what I liked and perceived as more I became satisfied as through this created the sense of be more than who I really am.

                Thus trough desires and through the points I perceived as more than others, as comparison between people, actions, things, I wanted to be more, to create from myself more than who I really am, and thus I participated on moving myself and expressing myself according this points, where obvious mechanics and starting points is as always was inequality.

                Within this, I realized that I simply have to equalize myself with everything I do, speak and act, as within this I am able to see what I am really doing, why I am doing it, and therefore see if it serve me for something or not, and if not thus simply stop to participate on such movements, actions, expressions, as if I would thus I would be still directed of points of inequality within me.

                And the point is even not to stop to do some actions, but what is starting point for such actions, as if it is inequality thus it is always fuck up.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to live me as a system of inequality based on comparison between people, animals, words, actions, movements, behaviors and from this create the likeness or dislike and thus from likeness create the sense of something more, perceive that this something I like is more than that what I do not like, and therefore direct myself to the points I like and perceive myself as more than, instead of see and realize that within this I am participating on game of more than and less than and thus living and accepting inequality within and as me, instead of stop, breathe and see and realize what it is what I am doing, why I am doing it, and if this is best for all or just my self interest.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that within the world, existence is something which is more and something which is less than, and by this accept and allow within me to live the inequality as me, instead of stop, see and realize that inequality is concept of the mind, where mind compares, judge and desire, and thus stop to participate on action and needs of the mind.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to give power to my mind through accepting believe and idea of inequality, of points that something is more and that something is less and thus let my mind to direct me to the point I perceived as more than.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to shape myself and mold myself according perceptions of more than and less then and thus create the positive energy towards the points I perceived as more than and negative energy towards the points of perception of less than, instead of see and realize that everything and anything within and as existence is equal.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to create the inequality within and as me through the pictures as relationships towards this pictures as likeness towards those one I perceived and judged as more than and dislike as inequality towards the pictures I judged and perceived as less than.

                I forgive to myself that I have not  accepted and allowed to myself to see and realize that inequality is foundation and core platform of the mind, where mind creates the relationships towards the points and by this relationships generate the energy to replenish and sustain itself and thus I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to define myself according relationships of the mind, instead of stand up and live as an example of equality , where everything I exist as and consist of is considered equally.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to forget that once I participate on the mind as system of inequality, that therefore I am accepting myself to be not equal with myself and by this accepting for whole existence the inequality, instead of stand up for myself and see and realize that I am equal to me, that I am here and that my body is perfect example of equality and oneness.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to do not see that my body constantly and continuously is showing me what real equality and oneness is, what is real and what is here.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to want to hide in front of myself to do not have to face the points I accepted and allowed to myself to participate on as system of inequality, because this means that I have to stand up and stop to participate on the games of the mind as games of more than and less than.

Thanks, Juraj

Day 102 : Interpret

                The mind, always try to tell me what this or that means, what this or that is, or what means the words which have been said. The very question is, what really represents the words and sentences being said.

                To see this, one simply have to walk specific points to see and realize the mechanics of manipulations and enslavement of the mind, and how literally everything which is of the mind exist in the past and is past based, and do not allow to see what really happened in reality.

                The mind, always interpret, always try to explain, based on library of experiences, memories, trying to serve what actually experience of one should be, what one should think, what one should take into consideration, what one should focus on etc.

                Interestingly, mind is always wrong, this is interesting from perspective, that do not matter how big the library of knowledge, information, memories, experiences, relationships mind created, it serve for nothing.

                Anything and everything mind is capable to see, understand and comprehend, is based on data as input which came in, and thus interpret according specificity of this data what one should therefore experience and how one should feel. This is by paradox always wrong, as the only point why mind does this, is to generate the energy. Nothing less, nothing more.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to participate on the interpretations of the mind about physical reality, about words of people being said, about their behavior and their intentions, instead of see and realize what is really going on here.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that I must and have to stop the mind, instead of me simply be here within and as breath, live in physical reality and anything which mind shows me as my self definitions, my reactions, my participation in reality as the mind to utilize in self introspection and self investigation to get the point for myself and thus see and realize how I defined myself, how I accepted to live as the mind and therefore give myself the opportunity to release myself from such definitions, interpretations, reactions and participation on and as the mind within reality, to give myself the chance to live here, to live myself and thus direct myself.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to be distracted by my own memories of my life, of myself and of my participation and therefore think and believe that I have to live the same way, that I have to react the same way and that I have to follow my own programming of myself as system, instead of be here, slow down myself and therefore to give myself the opportunity to see and realize what is really going on within me and without, to be able to align myself to became trustworthy being.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to fear that I will fall into same cycles of living myself in the points I walked for myself, instead of see and realize that all of this is because I still utilize memories of myself to participate in reality and therefore that I really do not gave up specific memories of myself as I utilize those memories to define and live myself and therefore follow the program of myself.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to do not see and realize for myself, that to live here means to simply gave up all memories of me as my self definitions, my self creation of myself as a robot and automatic system of interpretations, reactions, automatic behavioral pattern and thinking patterns, and therefore utilize those patterns to see for myself where and how I defined myself to live as a system, and give myself the chance to release myself from such behavior, as I see and realize that this do not serve me for nothing, that because of following patterns I keep myself trapped in illusionary reality of the mind and therefore diminishing myself into a illusion as well.

Thanks, Juraj

Day 101 : Back to self

                In my life, according the brainwashing on all levels, I did things because of others, not matter if it was family, friends, girl friends etc, it was always for and because of others, and very occasionally because of me.

                And thus, taking the points by points, to see who I am and what I became, is point of taking the points back to self, as everything and thus see and realize what I accepted to myself to live as a programmed robot of this society.

                I commit myself to take each point back to self to bring self back here, into and as reality to become trustworthy being standing for principle of equality and oneness.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to define myself according requirements, needs of others of my actions and behavior and thus shape and mold myself because of others, instead of see myself first as who I am, what I became and why and thus give myself that chance to release myself from my own enslavement of the mind I created to myself as protection mechanism in front of others.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to see me through the eyes of others and according this shape myself and change myself according needs, requirements of others, instead of see myself here, instead of live myself here and accept myself here as who I am as life.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to shape, mold and change myself because of want and need to please others to perceive myself as good and nice persona, instead of live myself here within and as breath.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to hide myself behind the smile, as protection of not showing what is going on within and as me to not have to face what I accepted and allowed to myself.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to forgot myself and thus do not see myself and thus live, shape and mold myself because of others, instead of breathe myself here, stand up here, live here and direct myself here to change myself for real in and as each point which exist within and as me.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to do not want to take points back to self, back to me to do not have to face myself and the points I accepted and allowed myself as living entity as the mind.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to fear to face points I accepted to myself to live, to do not be confronted with me as the mind, to do not have to see my own fuck ups but rather pretend everything is fine and cool.

Thanks, Juraj

Day 100 : Standing versus Falling

                The point of standing up from of the mind, and stand the point is to be here, with and as breath. If one is here with the breath, thus fall is impossible.

                I forgive to myself that I have not accepted and allowed to myself to realize, that the point why I fall into mind is that I am not with and as breath here.

                I forgive to myself that I have not accepted and allowed to myself to realize, that once I am falling in the mind, I am losing myself and falling into the realm of the mind can take me, and therefore create for myself and others consequences which I can stop once I am here, with and as breath.

                I forgive to myself that I have not accepted and allowed to myself to realize that stand up absolute means to be here as breath absolute.

Thanks, Juraj