Day 80 : Separation – I am more, because I see more

                Within this thought which came up here, I realized, that over time as I walk my process, I see that people around me are like blind, like deaf, aware so little even if, as I see within me this point, overtime I started like to think and believe about me that I am more because I am aware more.

                Yes, I am aware more in regards of point of how I function, what I see and what are my actions, what I realized about me so far, but I can say, this all do not make from myself more than any other being here.

                I can’t be more in anyway what so over, as all and everything is me, thus I can’t be more than me. I am me, and not matter in which body what I realized so far, as within the mind of man, for some people is impossible to realize anything thus those are innocent from perspective of their abdication of self responsibility to such extent, and believe in mind that they completely and entirely gave power to their minds.

                This also do not mean that they can abuse, manipulate and harm the ways they do, but they do not see it, they do not realize it, they are no aware what they are really doing as it is impossible for them.

                Thus I can only assist and support, to show and reveal what is here, what we as humanity allowed to do onto each other, and thus eventually stop this system of abuse and annihilation of mankind, as within this, we are annihilating life.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think the thought that I am more because I see more, instead of see and realize that do not matter what I see or realize for myself, that I am always equal and one with everyone and everything which exists.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that I can make from myself more than others when I will see and realize for myself more, instead of see and realize that through this I am comparing myself with myself and thus judge myself and exist within and as mind polarity design more than/ less than and through this I am participating on system of inequality of myself and accepting the system of inequality as me, thus I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to the mind design as less than / more than as mind polarity design as system of inequality, instead of stop and see and realize for myself who I am here as breath, as life, as my physical body, as equal and one.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to do not see and realize that comparison is always judgment of myself and that within this I start to judge people on those who see and realize for themselves and those who do not see and realize anything and through this participate on system and design of more than and less than as mind system design of inequality as those who walk their process I started to see as more than others, instead of stop and see and realize that no one within all existence is more than others or less than others but I am always equal with everything and everyone and thus when I see that I can assist and support someone within moment here, thus I do so.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think the thought that because I see more thus I am more than other, instead of see and realize that I see more just only because I pushed myself and start to walk my process and that those who didn’t walked anything thus they have no chance to realize for themselves anything, thus the fact that they do not see and realize is state of their minds, thus I stop, I see and realize for myself that I am equal to each being here, that because I am walking my process I am not more and never will be, that because I see and realize for myself some points and play outs thus it do not mean that I am more or less, I stop to participate on less / more design and when and as I face the situation or attempt to make from myself more than others, I stop and breathe and release myself from such idea, believe, through self forgiveness.

Thanks, Juraj

Day 79 : Suppression of myself

                I pressured on me to do not expressed me within moments here because of accepted way of living by society and definition and ideas what this living is and thus fit into society. I pressured on me to do not express me because of existence in the mind, accepted living in the mind and not here.

                It was me who pressured on me to do not allow me to live here, because of inferiority I accepted to live towards my mind, through various believes about me or life, or people, how things works, many other points.

                But why? What I feared?  I feared to live me? I feared to accept me as life and accept me as expression of life as breath here? I pressed on me to do not express me because I am adult and thus adults behave certain way and thus adults can’t express specific points? What is this definition to be adult and why I allowed living according ideas and believing what it means to be adult? Is this therefore life or living when I just copied from grownups how they behave, how they speech and how they exist?

                Thus I submit myself into a order of the mind as a copy of that what I saw in my environment, in meaning, how people behave around me and thus I accepted to myself to be brainwashed by my own observations of that what I saw, as all I took into consideration was pictures, thoughts and emotions/feelings of other when I was in process of growing up, I never realized that times that behind this pictures is vast amount of fuck up of those I observed.

                Interestingly, thus I allowed to suppress me because of observed fucked way of living of others and their words and their believes, and I forgot to take into consideration me, to see me within those moments, I do not allowed to myself to express me as I was in process of coping fuck ups into myself and thus define myself according that, I allowed to take the shit of others into me and thus created and define myself accordingly.

                Anyway, it is completely irrelevant what others accept, what are they believes, what they fear and why, because I do not take shit of others anymore.

                I accept only equality and oneness, that’s the point which is relevant for me, as within this principle everything is considered, everything is took into attention, but not the shits, not the deception, not the lies as why should be? No reason exists for lies, for deception, for abuse, for manipulation, for the way of living people accepted to live, as it is just submission into a mind where mind is the dictator and human beings just the slaves of this dictatorship, and thus questions is, where is freedom?

                Where is the real freedom of humanity, of human beings, if they are not even able to see how they are controlled by the mind? Where is the free will, if the humanity is not able to see that the prison people lives are they submission of the mind? Where is this free will? Dosed this free will even exists within people? How this could exist, if people can’t see how much they brainwashed are just because of their own fears?

                Freedom does not exist and free will neither, until all systems die, free will as free life as expression can’t exist.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to suppress myself within and as my mind, through acceptances and allowances of living in and as submission of the mind as a programmed behavioral patterns I observed through my eyes in my environment and thus think and believe that those patterns I observed is that what I should live and express, instead of see and realize that I within this I didn’t expressed myself as who I am here as breath but just copied patterns of others.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to copy into my the patterns of speech, behavior, the way of movements and the way of expression from my father and from my mother, from my friends and from teachers, from adults as looking upon them as those who know more and lived more, instead of see and realize that everything I observed was programmed and served just for the purpose of programming myself into and as mind system as automated robot who just repeat patterns of movements, speech, expression and thus not living myself as expression of breath here, but just limited designed system by me of copy and duplicated expressions.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to forgot what I my real expression here as breath as life because of my accepted and allowed suppression of myself because of observed pattern around me within those grownups I was looking upon as I believed they know more and thus I should follow what they lived and what they expressed, not seeing and realize that by this I became just repeating program of myself, where I just wait suppressed within my body and gave power to my mind to initiate the patterns and programs as behaviors, speech, movements of myself, not  seeing and realizing that those patterns are ignited by thoughts of the mind and reactions as energy movements of the mind, and I am not the mind, I am here  as my physical body, as breath.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to pushed on myself and thus suppressed myself because of copied, observed behavior around me and thus think and believe that should move, speech, express myself accordingly, and thus create the ideas and believes about myself and thus limit myself and my self expression just into and as mind ideas, believes, projections of my as what, who I should be within moments I am here, instead of express myself as breath as my physical body here.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to forgot to see me and express me within situations and moments I am facing and submit myself into and as patterns of copied movements, behaviors, ideas and believes about me, instead of express myself here as the breath.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to fear to express myself here, as accepted and allowed suppression of me through ideas and believe about myself, about life, and what living should be, as copied behavior, movements and the way I move according those I observed within the reality.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to fear to push through my own resistance of expressing myself here, and rather remain suppressed within and as my mind, as a protection mechanism of myself in believe that once I am suppressed and hidden thus I can’t be harmed.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to fear to stand up within and as me and express myself as who I am here as breath, but rather remain enslaved in and as ideas and believe of the mind about me, about the movements, behaviors and speech of me, as how I should behave to do not create the friction, conflict because of fear of friction and fear of conflict, instead of see and realize that fear is just my own idea and believe about protection of myself, as everything I wanted thus protect myself, instead of stand up as me, as breath here and live me as equal to me, and equal to others.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to suppress myself because of idea and believe and fear that I can be harmed or punished and because of fear of conflict, instead of stand up each moment I am here, and face that what I need to face to bring equality and oneness into and as this world, as reflection of me as who I am as life, as what is possible as living example of breath and life.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to suppress myself because of perception of authority and that I am less than, instead of see and realize that I am never less and never more, I am as who I am as equal and one to myself as all.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to suppress myself because of ideas and believe that within the existence are those who are more and those who are less, instead of see and realize that it was just my own fuck up accepted as idea by me as mind, and thus lived accordingly, instead of stand up and express myself as breath as equal to me, equal to my body, and equal to those I am facing within and as my world.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to suppress myself as a point of waiting on something which could possibly allow me to give permission to express me, instead of stand up within and as me as breath, see and realize that it is me who is giving permission to me to express, to live, to be here, and not defined and suppressed within and as my mind, thus I am giving permission to me to express me in self honesty and live me no matter what.

Thanks, Juraj

Day 78 : Relationships – Sex and love as EGO

                Interestingly, these two points, the sex as sexual energy, and love as positive energetic feeling, used to stand together or separated within me, according situations I was facing, mainly the “type” of the girl I dated with.

                More interesting within this two points is, that those points stand as cover of fear, anxiety, anger, as self definitions as EGO, as energy movement I defined into and as, and thus my addiction on living in and as energy entity within my body.

                I used to believe, that sex goes hand in hand with love, and that sex should be performed when I feel love towards other being. Thus, it means , that within this believe I believed – That first I have to fucked myself with feeling of love, which means to fall and blind myself, and then I can have sex with a girl, which means to fuck myself even more, into and as believe of energy experience of orgasm, in absolute blindness of myself, that as first the love point stand for the fear I accepted within me because I separated from the girl I dated with and thus created the perception and ideas about losing her thus fear of lose.

                Within this, as I was already fucked with design of love and fear as energies within me, as my EGO as my definition as who I am as mind as system, thus I had sex with a girl, in perception and believe how amazing this sex is, energy within me, how cool it is to be excited, and desire those girl, again in total lost-ness of myself within ideas, believes, perceptions, and not seeing how much I am harming myself with such acceptances, and what I am creating as consequences for myself and for other being.

                Therefore, what was my ideas and believes about relationship with a girl, was fuck ups over fuck ups over fuck ups, interestingly, in believe how cool it is, how I decided this all, and not seeing that I was just fucking slave of the mind, fucking addict of energy totally enslaved within and as me, desiring even from my mind to fuck me more.

                It is not worthy. It is not worthy to accept such abuse of me, It was not and it is not and never will be. Abuse will still be abuse, and I do not accept it. Simply no.

                I am here, and I am more than just mind, I am more than just illusions of myself, and I am not saying this as superiority design within and as mind, no. I am saying that me, as life, as being, as human, that I am worthy more than to just abdicate myself into and as mind and follow the script and program I accepted for myself to live accordingly in my past.

                I am not the Ego as energies moving rampantly within me, as I am able to stop those energies, release myself from those energies and believes, thus I am not that. I can’t be, as I am still here.

                Nothing happened to me, I do not diminished, I do not depleted, I do not ceased to exist, but many my ideas and believes did, so what is real?

                Just this body, just this flesh, just physical. Only that is real. Everything and anything within and as head, is illusion. Stop .

                Stop to live illusion, stop to deceive, stop to hide, stop to desire, stop to punish, and stop to live as a slave of the mind. It is not worthy.

                Everyone is more than that, each one of us, is more and worthy more, than just to live as a fucking slave of thoughts.

                Life should be free, and not enslaved into and as illusions.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that love and sex should goes together within relationship, and that I have to love the girl as energy feeling within me towards a girl as my self delusion of this energy, and that than I can have sex with her again in believe that this energy as sexual build up within me is real experience of me as sex, not seeing and realizing that it was never real sex, but just abdication of myself into and as mind as system as program of energy movements within me to sustain the mind and replenish and rejuvenate the mind, because of this believe in such energies which became even stronger and stronger and thus the abdicating myself into mind more and more acceptable.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to constantly and continuously search for validation of my energy experiences in others in believes that because others also experience something as energy and they believe in it, thus it have to be real experience of me as well.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to perceive that if I am in relationship, or that if I experience the energy feeling of love towards other being, or that if I have sex with female, that I won, that I am the winner, instead of see and realize that the relationship is deception of myself as accepted separation, that sex as energy experience is just boosting my mind, that love as energy experience is my fall and abdication of myself into and as mind, that I do not won anything by this, but mind won, instead of see and realize I accepted and allowed to myself to participate on win/lose polarity as EGO, on energy experiences as believes that those experiences are real, and I stop. I see and realize for myself the play-out of the energy fluctuations within my mind, between points as love, sex, win/lose as EGO, I take self responsibility for myself and I do not accept and allow to myself to be directed by such experiences, and I commit to myself to remain here with and as the physical,as my breath, any moment I will see that my mind attempts to manipulate myself to fall into such believes , ideas, experiences, thus I stop.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to never question each and any single energy movement within me and investigate immediately what it is, what is taking over me and trying to direct me, instead of seeing and realizing that I was not aware of possibilities of stopping of the mind, and becoming the free as life as physical.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that only love as energy is worthy to live for, not seeing and realizing for myself that this love is simply fear because energy as love is possible only if I am separated from myself and from others, and thus through this giving the permission to my mind to trap me and enslave me because of energy feeling as love and fear at once and do not see and realize how much I am abusing myself and others just because of this energies, acceptances and believes within me.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to define myself as ego as energy movements within me and create the likeness or dislikes towards this energies in separation of myself and thus judge those energies, and be separated from energies within me, instead of see and realize that separation is illusion of the mind, that separation is abdicating self responsibility for self as for all in oneness and equality of self.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that separation is real, instead of see and realize that this is perception of the mind as how mind is designed as a system running on and as physical and destroying physical as a parasite in getting the energy, and thus I became the parasite of the physical, because of believe and ideas of existence of the mind, not see and realize that anything of the mind is simply my self delusion.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to trap myself into and as mind, where I created the ideas and believes through about myself, as who I could possibly be, or what I am possibly, not seeing and realize that I am already here as I always was, as physical, as breath as life.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to forgot who I am in equality and oneness of life as all what exist as what is here.

               

Thanks, Juraj

Day 77 : Relationships : Pictures, sex and energy

                The believe that sexual energy is of pictures comes from the point when I experienced this first time, and thus this believe has been supported over years within me, as each time I got excited thus it was because of pictures I saw without or as ideas, believes and projections within my mind. Anyway it was still the pictures and the relationships I created within me towards this shapes.

                Thus believe that sex is of pictures and of energy and of excitement and release come from the period of developing myself as a mind and thus my enslavement and inferiority towards the mind, as energy slave and energy addict, because, obviously, I thought to myself everything of that was real experiences of me, myself, and that this was the way I should perceive myself.

                Simply, delusions over delusions and forgetting who I am within that.

I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that sex and sexuality is of pictures, of shapes, of perceptions , ideas and believes within me created because of believe that because I experienced energy within me, in my penis and in my body in front of picture and seeing of this picture as naked female body, that thus this experience is real experience of me, instead of seeing and realizing that it was of the mind as what mind operates with are pictures and energies as relationships towards this pictures as acceptance and allowance of ideas and believes, what sex should be, what possible sex can be, and what possible is sexual expression, instead of see and realize for myself that mind always try to interpret and comprehend what that or this could be, because of separation and its very own design of running on energy and thus trying and attempting to get always possible the energy to sustain itself and thus keep me entrapped and enslaved in illusion of experiences as energy movements within me.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to separate myself from shapes, pictures, colors and presentation as picture of female body, where I start to relate and refer to this picture of female body and create within me likeness or dislike according society norms and controls of what is possibly beautiful, what is possibly acceptable, what is possibly nice and sexy, what I should like and where and when I should experience energy as sexual excitement, according ideas and believe that sexuality is of pictures and of that what I can see through my physical eyes and from this pictures create within me the energy and energy movement and thus move accordingly of this energy as energy addict and zombie in believe that this energy is something magnificent, cool and that I need it, want it as I saw that everybody around me is speaking about this and how cool it is an what they experiences are and according that I started to create within me the ideas and believes that it could be really cool to experience sex and have sex with the female and thus follow accordingly the creation of ideas and believes within my mind about sex, and what this sex and energy could be, instead of stop, see and realize for myself that it is trap of the mind how to enslave myself into generating the energy and thus sustain the mind and sustain control over my life, instead of see, comprehend, understand and realize, that simply when I stop, thus I stop and if anything move within me, thus it have to be of the mind and thus it is not real, because when I stop, thus I stop absolute.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself separate myself from picture and presentation of female body and thus think and believe that I need to be in presence of picture of female body, that I require and need to look and see female body and through this generate the energy for myself in and as believe that this energy as sexual excitement is something cool and pleasurable and that I need it and want it, not seeing and realizing for myself that through such acceptances and allowance I am consuming myself as my body through my mind, and thus diminishing and dishonoring myself as flesh ,as that what it real because of believe in illusion and thus wanting and attempting to make from that what is real an illusion because of believe that this illusion is real, not seeing and realizing g that I fooled myself and deluded myself completely through the mind, as I accepted and allow to my mind direct me through ideas, believes and perception about sex, what sex could be, and with believe that because I experienced energy and judged this energy as cool and create within me likeness that thus this energy is something worth to live for, not seeing and realizing the consequences of such acceptances and allowances, that through this I am allowing and giving my mind the power to consume and eat my body as flesh, destroy and diminish my body as physical, that through this I am allowing my mind to exist as a parasite and me just observing and letting my mind to rape my body and doing nothing with that because of believe and addition of this energy as obsession and possession of me as me, that this is life and living me, not realizing that it is so called life of the mind, but mind is not of the life but of the program as perfect design how to trap myself through my own acceptance and allowances into a believe that it is me who decide and that it is me who move not realizing that I deluded myself within this believe, that it was always my mind who moved me because followed and accepted the script and program of the mind as code of getting the energy and sustaining the energy of empowering itself and having power over me through my own addiction, through my own inferiority where I allowed to kneel down in front of my mind and say – My mind, here I am use me each way possible and I will sere you as a perfect slave, and you will get as much energy as possible until I die – instead of standing up absolute within me, standing up and merge myself with and as the mind completely and entirely as mind, as equal and one with the mind and thus see and realize myself each movement of the mind , each attempt of the mind how mind wants to direct me, and thus say stop and stand up and stop, to stop me each moment, each experience of the mind as energy stop, to take back my power as who I am as life, and thus became equal and one with my body as physical as flesh h as who I really am as life here, within and as the breath of life, instead of stop all separation within me and stop all relationships within me and investigate search and test each ways possible myself and release myself from all my own acceptance and allowances and do not allow to my mind to direct me anymore, as mind is perversion towards the life and do not deserve any respect, as what is of system do not deserve to exist as system is parasite of the life, and thus I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to became the parasite of life and abusing, killing and maintain the life just as a tool for getting the energy for myself in believe that it is for myself not seeing and realizing that it was always for my mind, and thus I allowed to kill life for energy.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to separate myself from pictures of female bodies, to separate myself from female legs, hips, body front as pelvic area and belly, the hands, breasts and chest, the neck and face and hair and thus think and believe that I need to create the relationships within me towards the points I separated myself from, not seeing and realizing that all what I need is to stop all separation of myself from myself to be able to realize and see who I am here as physical as life as breath.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe that because I experienced energy as sexual excitement within my body and within my penis while looking and seeing female body as a doll and naked female body, that this energy experience is real experience of me and thus create within me the likeness toward this energy and separate myself from this energy because of believe and perception that it is something which I like, need and want experience, not realizing for myself that I fall into a trap of the mind of killing and abusing the flesh and physical and destruction of the physical as a program where existence of the mind is simply destruction of physical, thus destruction of me and destruction of life, not seeing and realizing that within me fall in and ass a trap of the mind, into a believe that I decide what I do, when and how, is exactly what mind wanted to myself to believe in, that it was me and not the mind as programmed system as a design of creation of enslavement and abuse and separation.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to separate myself form pictures of female asses and perceive the female as a tool for getting and generating the sexual energy within me and connect the ideas and believes and perception how it could be to touch female as, how it look, al the shapes possible and thus according my own brainwashing even judge female asses as bad, good, nice, ugly , I want / I do not want, and from this create within me the relationship and desires and believes how it could be to touch, kiss, or fuck into and as female ass from behind.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to separate myself from females and thus start to accept the living as separated entity from females as ego of the mind and think and believe that I need females, that I like females, that I desire to be with females, instead of see and realize that anything as movement, as energy, as desire, as believe, as ides, as projection, as fear, as anxiety, as nervousness is of the mind, instead of see the points within me directly and instantaneously and thus forgive myself and let go living in the mind as zombie as a weak addict of energy because of believe that I can’t move myself without this energy, that I need it and require it, instead of stand up and not more allow to perceive myself as weak, or that weakness exist, instead of each moment to stop, to stop till the moment I stop as absolute silence of me, until I stop as absolute direction as who I am as life here to stop everything and anything which mind use to move myself.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to fall into and as mind believe that the experience of energy moment as excitement as sexual energy is real experience of me and thus think and believe that sex is about energy and thus act and move accordingly requirements of my mind for getting and generating this energy.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to think and believe and create within me the idea s about sex and sexuality and what sex could possibly be, through separation myself from myself, from my physical body, and thus create within me the relationships towards the pictures of female body as a point of my separation from myself and thus start to relate and refer to this point and move according the requirements of the mind for getting the energy to sustain itself, instead of standing up for myself and see and realize that any energy requirement is simply attempt to move me as a slave ,a  puppet, as a tool and that I am not that, that I am not the system, I am not the mind, I am not of the mind, I am of life, of physical, of breath, equal and one with everything which exist within and without.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself separate myself form female body as a picture and thus think and believe that sex and sexuality is of experiences I created within me as energy movements when I touch female body, instead of expressing myself here as physical, instead of move myself here as physical, as breath of live and express and live myself as who I really am.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to create within me the relationship toward females and pictures of females instead of standing equal and one with and as pictures of females as me, as females as being, as females as life, as females as me and not allow and accept nothing less or more then equality of me, in me, as me, with me, here as breath of life.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself separate myself form females and from pictures of females and thus use this as a point of energy creation for myself as a energy addict, as a energy zombie and energy slave, and thus I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself through the separation of myself to abuse, to use, and manipulate the females into a point of getting the energy for myself.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to separate myself from female breasts, hands, chest, neck, face, hairs, eyes, lips, nose, ears and towards this point create within me the relationships and perceptions of likeness of dislikes according society brainwashing propaganda to think and believe that everything within me of energy is real experience of me, that it is me experiencing me, that I need and require to live this ideas and believes and projections ,that I need to remain separated from myself and all thus allow and accept to abuse myself through act of thinking, act of allowing the desires, needs, and want to direct me as a puppet in and through believe that it is me who decide.

                I forgive to myself that I have accepted and allowed to myself to connect towards females picture of eyes, lips, nose, ears, face, neck, breast, hands, chest, belly, legs, pelvic area, vagina, hips, the sexual energy, the likeness, the idea and believe that I need and require to touch, to experience this energy and to connect to this the feeling of love as likeness towards the picture I can see through my physical eyes, instead of see and realize that I  accepted and allowed to myself to deceive myself with my eyes, that I deceived and deluded with the pictures I can see, because I separated myself from myself and thus allowed to abuse and use the females according my own fall and addiction within and as mind, where I just followed the written experiences , already pre-programmed to keep me enslave and trapped within the illusion of energy, illusion of life, instead of stop, see and realize for myself that I am here as breath, as life, as physical and that’s all and everything I am, nothing less, nothing more, me here.

 Thanks, Juraj